And So We Descend
by Lmere969
Summary: *Sequel to 'If Only' - Set in the 2 years between Dawn and War* The soldiers are coming. Jac knows it. Caesar knows it. They all know it. But they don't know what will happen when they arrive.
1. Earth, Fire, Water

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 **A/N (personal)** : (Long, don't have to read). I'm back. Jac is back. Time to rock and roll.  
So, to business... This is a little later than I'd intended to come back, but I've got a few chapters ahead, so I won't be tripping over my feet on what I've already posted. Will eventually catch up to myself, no doubt. You're going to get 2 chapters straight off, because I wrote them as one, but decided it was too long to post as one, so split it. If it doesn't read right, that's on me.  
This work is set BETWEEN Dawn and War. There's 2 years there to play around with, and I'm going to make the most of them! I have read Revelations, and if you have you'll recognise bits and pieces. That being said, there were bits that messed up my plans, and bits I'd just didn't like, so you'll find some of the novella is used, some is changed up, and some is plain old ignored. (And some I completely go against, because I can). If you have a problem with any of that, feel free to leave now.  
For the rest of you, enjoy!

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A clouded eye, white misting the colour. One good pupil filled with hate, staring right into my heart, my soul. Everything laid bare.

"They hate you," Koba hissed. "They always will. Even Caesar won't trust you for long. He would have preferred me. It's your fault. If you hadn't come along, we would have been fine. It's all your fault."

I couldn't look away from him, no matter how much I wanted to, no matter how much I tried. The maze of jagged metal rose around us, trapping me in a tiny space with Koba's broken and bleeding body.

"He would have preferred if you'd never come back," Koba growled, his eye growing larger, swallowing me whole. Or maybe he was getting closer, raising himself up on broken arms, ignorant of the blood running down his face. "Even now," he growled, baring teeth I'd felt in my flesh, "you've lost."

He lunged, upon me without moving, and the gun came up from nowhere between us, my finger already on the trigger.

The gunshot ripped through us both, Koba falling backwards, blood everywhere, and I was falling too...

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I came awake with a jerk and a gasp, my arms flailing, knocking the book out from under me to land on the floor with a thud. The sudden sound was loud in the silence, making me jump again, looking around wildly for mismatched eyes and viciously bared teeth...

 _Just a dream..._ I dropped my head into my hands, rubbing at my face. _Just another dream_. Just like every other night.

Slumping back in my chair, I rolled my head back, feeling the pain in my neck from sleeping on the desk, the result of my failed attempt to escape the nightmare.

"This wasn't meant to happen," I said aloud to the ceiling. "I stayed with you to stop anything like this." I sighed, closing my eyes. "You weren't meant to haunt us." Dropping my head forwards again, I opened my eyes and found Koba watching me from the doorway.

I jumped to my feet, the chair clattering to the floor behind me. The ape stepped back and I saw my mistake. He was taller than Koba, with two clear eyes for which he'd been named.

"Blue Eyes," I gasped, leaning on the desk, feeling my heart still thumping wildly in my chest. "You scared me."

The chimp moved slowly into the little office I'd taken over as I glanced up at the reason why I'd chosen this particular space; the clock. It seemed like something of a miracle, finding a working clock after so long. It had been years since I'd lived by hours and minutes, but the round face and silent movement of the hands made something in me tremble. It was like a piece of _before_.

"What's wrong?" I asked Blue Eyes, pulling myself out of the past. He didn't answer, still moving around restlessly, glancing out the window, reaching out to touch the walls, the desk, the pile of books. I waited. It couldn't be something urgent, like the arrival of the soldiers, if he was dithering this much.

I picked my chair up from the floor, pushing the book away as I watched him.

"What you do," Blue Eyes said slowly, his voice as quiet as ever, "when person die?"

I went still, turning the chair around and resting my feet on it, sitting on the desk as I rubbed the side of my left hand, considering. "Well, before... everything, it would depend on the person and their family. Lots of people were buried." I saw the flicker of his eyes and explained. "Under the ground. We would dig a hole, put the body in a box, and into the ground, then cover it up." His expression twitched, but I couldn't read it, so continued. "Other people wanted to be cremated—burned. Then their family would either keep the ashes or scatter them somewhere."

Blue Eyes looked away, out the window. Leaning to the side, I followed his gaze, looking across at the capitol building, and my right hand wandered further up my left, to the aching wound when the last two joints of my little finger were missing.

"Is this about the one who fell?" I asked. "Your friend?"

 _'Fell'?_ Something in me scoffed. _More like 'was thrown'_.

Blue Eyes gave an almost involuntary hoot, the sad note hanging in the air. "Ash," he said, after a moment.

I sighed quietly. _So much death_... My dream flashed before me again, my finger tightening on the trigger, the bullet exploding through Koba... I shivered. I hadn't killed him.

 _No, only watched him die_ , a scathing voice pointed out.

"I'm sorry," I said to Blue Eyes. "You should do something with his body." _It'll start getting really nasty if you don't_. "It'll give you some closure."

"Where is he?"

I frowned, pushing to my feet. "He's not over there? Someone moved him?"

Blue Eyes shook his head. "Something there... it not him. Where is he? Now."

I stared at him and felt my eyes fill with tears. "He..." I swallowed and cleared my throat, trying to blink the tears back down. "He's gone. He's not there anymore. He's part of his family, his friends. Part of you."

Blue Eyes frowned, finally looking at me. "How? Not here?"

I squirmed internally. How had I ended up trying to explain theories about death to a chimpanzee? "No, he's not here. He's dead. Gone. But..." I rubbed my finger again, feeling every one of Ellie's neat stitches as I wondered how to explain. "Every time you remember him, every time you think of him, or do something you would have done with him, or something he taught you... that's how he stays here. By living through you, through your actions."

He was still frowning, looking away through the window.

"What do did you when someone died in the forest? You must have lost people before?"

Blue Eyes huffed, his hand twitching in a sign as he ducked his head from side to side. "Some," he said eventually. "Cold. The..." he frowned, thinking, "...not young?"

"Old." I gave him the word, nodding. Chimps weren't native to this climate, they came from tropical rainforests in Africa. It was amazing that they had adapted to survive in California at all.

"So what did you do," I asked, dragging myself back to the present, "after they died?"

Blue Eyes frowned. "Put in trees. In nests. Father went."

Of course he had. Caesar had taken on more than just responsibility, he'd taken on the belief, in his heart, that every life in his troop was his to protect. Maybe he was right. Maybe it would be his downfall.

"Do you want to do that for Ash?"

Blue Eyes huffed again, gesturing out the window. "No big trees," he pointed out.

I grimaced. That was true. No trees here of the size they were used to. So what other options were there for Blue Eyes and his friend?

Given his lack of night-vision and the apes' discomfort when we'd travelled through the subway tunnels, I didn't think he'd want to bury Ash underground.

Burning him? Maybe not after their home had been burnt to the ground.

What else? I bit my lip. If not fire... water?

"You could give him to the sea?"

Blue Eyes lifted his head. "The sea?" he asked, confused.

I nodded. "Did he like the water?"

Blue Eyes tilted his head in what I guess was equivalent to a shrug, then nodded. "Why?" he huffed.

"For closure," I said firmly. He needed to do something, he wouldn't be here if he didn't. "A way to say goodbye." I stood up. "Come on, I need to get some stuff, you want to come?"

He followed me to the door in answer, and we descended together in silence.


	2. To Fly, To Fall

I swung back by the tower first, checking every intersection twice for signs of human life before crossing. The building was crooked and still groaning from the bombs that Dreyfus had set off, trying to take it down and kill all the apes. They hadn't worked as intended, but Malcolm had still declared the structure too dangerous to enter. I defied that ruling, carefully squirrelling away as many supplies as possible, knowing that the others would have stripped the other caches around the city. Hopefully, they would leave soon, but until they were all gone, I needed to keep a low profile.

Blue Eyes followed me into the wreckage without question though he hesitated, looking sideways as we passed the place where Koba's body was hidden. I wondered if it was still there. The apes had all fallen back in with Caesar, and if any were unhappy about the outcome, they'd hidden it well so far.

I pulled three flat sheets out of the tumbled stack on the storeroom floor and folded them carefully under my arm, glancing around. There were still clean clothes here, I would come back and get some more. Couldn't have too many. I flinched as the floor shifted under me, flinging an arm out to the side, freezing where I stood as I waited for it to finally come crashing down and crush us both. It took several seconds of stillness before I could move again, and an encouraging brush on my arm by Blue Eyes, who scampered along without worry.

We headed south, not taking long to reach the Gardens, but just as the neat squares of cultivated earth came into view, I heard angry voices. Jumping backwards, I gestured silently for Blue Eyes to join me against the wall, my heart hammering as I listened. Too many voices for me to pick out any words, or identify the speakers, but their tone was all too clear. I remained hidden, watching the corner of the wall, praying they weren't coming this way. The voices grew louder, then faded again. I glanced at Blue Eyes, who was watching me intently, then crept along and crouched down, poking one eye out from my hiding place. Six people, all walking away from us with packs slung over their backs, their furious voices lingering even after they turned a corner.

The space remained empty but I was still tense, watching every opening for more movement. Biting my lip, I eyed the space between myself and the wheelbarrows. I could make it, as long as no one else turned up. If they did... anything could happen.

I turned back to Blue Eyes. "Does Ash have family?" I asked.

He nodded. "Rocket, Tinker," he huffed.

"Go find them, tell them what we're going to do, make sure they're okay with it," I said. "Then meet me in front of the capitol building - where his body is. If I'm not there, don't come looking for me."

He caught my arm as I turned away. "Why hide from humans?" he asked, his eyes intense.

I hesitated. "I'll explain later. Go now."

He considered me for a moment, then knuckled away. I let out a breath. At least he wouldn't have to watch if something did happen. Glancing up, I scanned the skyline, finding a patch of black paint, still recognisable as the Gen-sys logo I had painted one night, to throw Koba off. The humans had seen it too, and no doubt Denny had told them it had been me. He'd already spread the fact that I had been part of the team working to create the virus that had wiped out most of the population, why wouldn't he have shared that too?

Refocusing with a shake of my head, I gritted my teeth and stepped out from behind the building, jogging as quietly as possible across the open ground, slowing to crouch behind the line of wheelbarrows. Nothing. No sound, no movement. Snorting at my own paranoia, I stood up, grabbing the handles of the red barrow on the end and turning it around quickly, keeping the last finger of my left hand from taking any of the weight. Dropping the sheets into the bottom, I hurried away, wincing at every loud rattle as the barrow bumped over the rough ground.

I almost wished Malcolm would just hurry up and clear everyone out of the city. Maybe that was cruel, trying to push them out of the place they'd built up and even restored power to. Yet Malcolm had agreed they had to get out before they got caught up in a war, and once they were gone, I would be able to move around without having to worry so much about a mob coming after me.

 _Selfish_ , a small voice pointed out.

Grimacing, I ignored it, weaving my way down the road, back towards the capitol building, stopping at intervals to pick up rubble and pile it on top of one of the sheets in the wheelbarrow, eventually emerging past the library where I'd been holed up. Dark shapes were milling around the steps of the capitol building, and I recognised Blue Eyes and Rocket as I drew closer. There was another ape close by, sad eyes downcast, and a few others moving around them. I guided the barrow silently up the disabled ramp, kicking debris aside as I went, to make for a smoother descent. The apes shadowed me silently from the steps, watching curiously.

Ash's body laid sprawled in a pile of congealed blood, head twisted to one side. Halting the wheelbarrow as quietly as I could on the hard floor, I looked down at him for a moment as the apes moved up beside me. I glanced up to the place, high above, where Koba had thrown him down. Twisting my neck, I thought I could even see the place where I'd hidden and watched it happen. With a silent sigh, I returned my gaze to the body. Everyone was still and silent, even Rocket and the female beside him.

Carefully, I pulled the remaining two sheets out of the wheelbarrow and shook them open, laying them out on the floor just to the side of the pool of blood. With quiet reverence, Rocket and the female that I didn't recognise moved forwards, the dried blood prickling under their feet as they lifted Ash's body across onto the sheets. Settling him into a curled position on his side, they moved back. Ash's mother made a keening noise and I hesitated, but she didn't move again, so I crouched down and folded the sheets gently over the body that seemed much smaller now. Stepping away, I let the apes pick him up and place him carefully in the wheelbarrow, over the rubble I'd stacked at the bottom. I gently pulled the corners of the final sheet up and knotted them as tightly as I could. It would be just my luck for them to come undone.

We made a sombre procession towards the bridge as the sun sank slowly lower on our left. The lights shining from windows were almost dazzling, and I reminded myself yet again that I should start shutting them off.

I pushed the wheelbarrow, as the apes' arms were too long for them to do it comfortably. Blue Eyes walked along on my right, and Tinder and Rocket on my left, the others ranging around us. We passed other apes, all pausing in their various unidentifiable tasks to watch us, but saw no signs of other human life, for which I was grateful. The endless rumble of the wheel over the cracked road accompanied us all the way to the bridge.

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Red steel arched over us, flying on unseen wings towards the heaven. What would it be like, at the top? Hidden in clouds, living in misty nothing rather than down here in the war preparations. Looking around, there was no other way to describe what I was seeing. Ammunition checks, examination of grenades and rocket launchers, watchers on both sides of the bridge, the pounding of horses' hooves as they clattered back and forth, quieter sounds of apes' paws scuttling in every direction.

Most of the apes here were too busy to be interested in us, but some still looked up, examining the wheelbarrow with inquisitive eyes. They looked at me with almost equal curiosity, but it hadn't taken long for Caesar's verdict to go out; I was allowed to stay. Not trusted perhaps, not by all of them, but on the verge of acceptance. There were no objections as I wheeled Ash's body out to about a quarter of the way along the bridge, and stopped, stepping gently away until I felt the fence that had once separated pedestrians from cars at my back.

This time, Blue Eyes stepped forwards with Rocket, the pair of them hoisting the heavy load high up and over the railing. It disappeared shockingly fast, without warning or ceremony. So quick to fall. Blue Eyes looked to me, his eyes still lost. I raised my eyes to the sky.

"Goodbye," I said simply. It didn't seem like enough, but it was all I had. Remembering the words I'd spoken over Koba, I felt a stab of guilt that I didn't have anything to offer to a far more innocent life but my mind remained stubbornly blank.

The apes didn't seem to find it lacking, all echoing around me, some with enough enunciation for me to pick out the word, but several just making a rumble in their throats.

Blue Eyes was the one to move, his right hand coming up to his shoulder as he stared off out to sea, bending his fingers into a fist. The wave would have been laughable if it wasn't so solemn, and instantly mirrored by all the others. Glancing around, I nearly choked when I saw the other apes close by had paused their tasks, all joining in the silent farewell.

Sinking down where I was, I sat on the concrete base of the fence and hugged my knees, choking back a laugh as I looked up at the sun.

 _Is that what you didn't see, Koba? What you didn't account for? That every life matters to every single one of them?_ Blinking, I lowered my gaze to stare out to sea. _Maybe that's what we lost too._ It was a sobering thought, flooding my mind until an ape crouched down next to me.

Blue Eyes was silent, following my gaze out across the ocean for a moment before looking at me. I raised my hand, forming a fist and releasing it. He huffed a laugh, nodding.

"Good-bay," he said.

I squeezed my lips together to try and hide my smile. "Goodbye," I emphasised.

"Good... by."

"Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

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A/N: As I mentioned in the earlier note, I wrote both of these together, so only fair to put them out together. Hope you enjoyed, any and all reviews are received with much joy and love.


	3. Strong

The evening fog rolled lazily, spinning false shapes over the water, ghostly apparitions that vanished as soon as I looked back. Leaning over the railing, I scowled but couldn't stop myself from seeing the false monsters out there. Ships looming, flashes of silent gunfire that were nothing more than light reflecting on the water, eyes watching us.

The apes were all still so busy, moving constantly around me, and it took a few seconds for me to register the stationary shape in the corner of my eye. Flinching slightly, I looked around and gave a sigh of relief as Caesar moved slowly up beside me to lean on the railings.

"How are you doing?" I asked, watching him shift his weight onto the metal. The wound on his chest, not yet healed, stood out against his dark fur.

He just huffed, not looking at me. "They've gone," he said. "All of them."

Now it was my turn to look away as I pulled in a huge lungful of air. They were gone. My shoulders relaxed down from the tense hunch I hadn't realised I was holding. No more hiding. The other humans were gone. I let myself enjoy that for one second before returning to business.

"And you?" I asked. "Will you go back to the woods?"

Caesar shook his head and I frowned.

"You know that land, you can use it. They can't. You'd have the advantage there."

"They come here, they have base. They never leave," Caesar said. "Must stop them here, or will not stop them at all."

Turning around, I looked back towards the hazy city, lights twinkling through the fog from the sections with power. There was truth in Caesar's words, almost too much truth. Shelter, power, leftover supplies. There would be too much reason for the humans to stay.

"Apes must be strong now," Caesar said. "Retreating not strong."

"Smart can be strong," I pointed out.

He gave a huff of laughter that became a grimace. "You think Malcolm right?" he asked me, waving behind us to the sea with his right arm, keeping his left shoulder very still.

I didn't answer at once, staring at him. I wanted to tell him that he needed to rest, that he'd come too close to dying to be pushing so hard so soon, but I doubted he would listen, or even want to hear it. Glancing back over my shoulder, I frowned, remembering Malcolm's theory. "I don't know," I said doubtfully. "I hadn't thought that the soldiers might come by sea. I guess it depends where they're coming from. If it's somewhere on the coast, Seattle or Portland or Vancouver, they might. But if they're further inland, then I doubt it." I gave a huff of frustration, rubbing absently at the half finger on my left hand. Malcolm had said that Dreyfus had said the soldiers were 'up north', but that could mean anywhere.

"A boat would be faster," I mused slowly. "If they're coming by road they'd have to stop overnight, make camp, clear it away again, all that stuff. If they're on the ship, it's just a case of keeping the coast on the left and dropping anchor, I guess. And even without satellite links, I think the radar would still work..." I trailed away when I saw that I'd lost Caesar. With an apologetic shake of my head, I stood upright, looking out over the bay. "A ship would arrive first," I said decisively, hoping I was right. "If you're sure about staying, I'd say we prepare for that first, then look at land routes afterwards, whilst keeping a watch on the water."

Caesar nodded, eyes darting from the water below to the shoreline. I could almost see links coming together, plans being moulded and changed and discarded and refined.

"Prepare how?"

I raised my eyes to the swirling fog. "That depends. Are we preparing for war, or peace?"

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 **A/N:** Third chapter of If Only was really short too... don't know what it is about them. Anyway, it was a natural cut point, so I took it. Hope you enjoyed, reviews are received with much joy and thankfulness!


	4. Preparations

**A/N:** Thank you to the 4 of you who left reviews on chapter three last night, y especialmente para el que está en español, que fue encantador, muchas gracias. So I decided you all deserved chapter 4 to show my gratitude! Enjoy!

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The days passed alarmingly fast. I spent the daytime hours on the bridge, squinting through the summer fog as I taught and learnt and instructed and advised, doing my best to, as Caesar had said, 'hope for peace, prepare for war'. He himself was everywhere, hurrying past as I did my best to explain a rocket launcher to a gorilla with far too much eagerness in their eyes, conferring with Rocket and Maurice a few feet away as I listened—with some help from Blue Eyes as a translator—to a young chimp's plan to drop barrels over the bridge as obstacles. But, although Caesar never seemed to be far away, and our eyes met regularly, I couldn't shake the suspicion that he was avoiding me. Or maybe I was avoiding him.

It took a little while to explain that the sort of boat the soldiers were likely to come in would be too big to be deterred by floating barrels, but I encouraged the idea anyway, telling them where to find rope to string the barrels together. There might not be enough to reach down the 70m drop from the bridge to the water, as I'd originally hoped, but it would stop them all floating away, and just maybe give the soldiers pause. Rope could look like wires from a distance, I reasoned to myself, as I glanced at the sinking sun, measuring the time left.

Squeezing Blue Eyes's shoulder, I left them planning and made my way back south, towards the other preparations I'd been filling the evenings with. Caesar's comments about the soldiers establishing a base had stuck with me. If they did get a foothold here, I was determined not to make it an easy one.

I'd started with the supply cache closest to the coast, only a couple of streets over from the zoo, trying not to think about what I'd hidden there. Anything I thought I could use— batteries, food, a camping stove, containers of fuel—I'd piled into back of my truck. Everything else I'd dragged into the street and burned.

Trusting in our searchers, I hadn't gone through any of the houses, but had moved straight onto the next hidden stash, and done the same thing all over again. In the evenings, I'd retreated back to the library, using a torch to go through the building, looking for the city electrical plans. I'd missed the internet immensely during those hours. Once I'd found some promising diagrams, I spent hours examining them under the misty street lights, trying to make sense of the mess of lines. I almost missed Carver. Almost.

In the end, I gave up on it, and simply went around searching out junction boxes. Every single one I found, I destroyed. I pulled out wires, smashed circuit boards and took a sledgehammer (with a wooden handle, wearing rubber gloves) to what was left. Slowly, the lights, so recently restored, went out again, this time for good.

It was on one of those missions that I went past the hardware store, jogging on for several more paces before coming to an abrupt halt and turning to look behind me. That was the place I'd got the paint I'd used before, to plaster the Gen-sys logo all over the city.

 _Hope for peace_. That was what Caesar had said. Slowly, I walked back to stare through the broken windows. There was no hope at all for peace without communication. If the radio had still be working, we could have been talking to the soldiers this whole time. But one glimpse of the wreckage had shown me it was way beyond anything I could hope to repair, so we couldn't talk to them before they arrived. Once they had arrived, though... what would they see? The apes they'd heard about on the radio, armed with guns, ranged along the iconic Golden Gate Bridge? Not hugely trust inspiring.

If we, if _I_ , could talk to them, what would we say? What message would Caesar want to send? A plea for a truce, for negotiations? Or simply to ask them to leave?

Surely there hadn't been time for much talk on the radio. Maybe the soldiers hadn't been given much information, and they would underestimate Caesar, just like everyone always did.

Either way, they were coming, and once they were here... I didn't like the scenarios my mind played out. Once they knew of the apes, of the extent of their intelligence, what would they do then? Even if it wasn't full on war, would they try and stay here, with the apes so close? My stomach went cold at the idea. It would never work. Even if Koba hadn't attacked first, the human colony would never have been comfortable, knowing the apes were so close. There was no reason to think the soldiers would be any different. The only true peace would be if they left.

 _Maybe Caesar was right_ , I thought bitterly. _Maybe the only way to stop this is to stop it ever starting. Turn them around and send them home before they even arrive._  
But how? They would want to know what the situation was, what had happened to the humans who had called for help.

Perhaps I should try again to convince Caesar to leave, but even that wasn't certain to work. It would be impossible to erase all evidence of the fight, and who it had been between. If we missed just one ape body, it would be over, and then there was the evidence of where they'd been staying.

So that meant we had to stop them before they arrived. I strode forwards, through the open door and headed back towards the decorating section. Surely the best way to do that, was to tell them. That was what I would do.

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The next morning dawned just as foggy as the evening before. Loading up my wheelbarrow with the paint, rollers, and rope I'd gathered last night, I headed out at a brisk pace, detouring slightly to a home ware store and cleaning them out of flat sheets. Not for the first time, as I walked briskly along, I considered crashing somewhere closer to the bridge. Maybe once I'd finished in the library, I reasoned. If we were even still in the city at that point.

A hoot broke into my thoughts and I turned as a tiny ball of dark fur came hurtling over to me, taking off in a giant leap to catch hold of my elbow. I laughed as the young chimpanzee promptly climbed up to stand on my shoulder, hands fisting in my hair.

"Hello, Munchkin," I said wryly as he turned around to watch several other apes approach, albeit much more slowly.

Cornelia was the slowest of them, her wheezing breath still noticeable, but none of the others pushed ahead, all matching their pace to hers. Even the huge gorillas didn't overtake her. They ranged around us as Cornelia came to a stop beside my wheelbarrow, eyes darting over the contents before flicking to her youngest son, who was now clambering over my head to gaze around from the other side.

"How are you?" I asked, as the other females spread out around us, some of the young coming over to investigate my feet. One climbed up as high as my hip, hanging off my shirt until I reached down, and they transferred their grip to my wrist, swinging back and forth. "Ellie left some antibiotics, medicine, if you need more."

Cornelia just huffed, patting my arm lightly before fingering through my collection. The young instantly took that as permission to do the same, two of them climbing up to investigate.

"It's just stuff for an idea I had," I said, grimacing as the ape on my wrist dropped down suddenly, and Munchkin took the opportunity to swing down to my elbow. "Don't even know if it will work," I muttered, as he jumped back and forth between my arms. "But everything is worth a try, I figured." Cornelia shot me a quick look. I grunted, as a particularly vigorous jump jarred my left arm. "Ooph. Easy, Munchkin."

"Cornelius."

I looked up, surprised. Cornelia's eyes were following her son.

"Cornelius," I repeated. She panted as the young chimp looked up at me. _Still a munchkin_ , I thought. As if he'd heard me, he leapt away, landing on his mother's back with ease. I gave a huff of laughter when a shadow approached me from the other side. A very large shadow.

I went still, barely breathing as I watched it grown bigger and bigger. The young weren't phased, continuing their explorations as the gorilla approached and stopped just behind me. It wasn't until a pale finger touched my forearm that I knew who it was. The albino gorilla, a phenomenon I'd never expected. He took another step closer, pale body almost as tall as mine, and three times as large. I looked down as his finger prodded down my arm, rather than meet his gaze. Beneath his pale fur, his skin was almost the same colour as mine.

It was only when his hand encircled my wrist, squeezing hard enough to make me wince, that Cornelia huffed. The pressure lessened at once as we both looked at her.

She signed very deliberately; stroking one fist slowly over the back of the other, pointing at me, then making a motion as if breaking a twig with her hands.

I could guess what she was saying.

 _Gently, she breaks._

The gorilla huffed, his whole chest moving with the sound, poking me once more before withdrawing.

I let out a breath of relief, making a _thank you_ sign to Cornelia, moving my flat hand from my mouth down towards her. She gave a smile, eyes crinkling, before turning away, shooing the little ones out from my wheelbarrow.

As the female apes and their guard of gorillas moved off, I grinned to myself. Maybe the lessons from Blue Eyes and Maurice were beginning to pay off.


	5. Ghosts Inside

**A/N:** As always, all mistakes are mine. Thanks to those of you who left reviews on the last chapter, it means a lot. Didn't get up to 5, but wasn't expecting to or waiting for it. Just wanted to give posting a bit of a break, so as not to put off people who haven't caught up yet. Also, been stupidly busy with Masters project at uni. Lots of very long days.

Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter, let me know what you think! (Next one is a big one, so stay tuned! ;) )  
(P.S. I don't have a beta for this story, but to those of you out there who do have betas, or even just sounding boards, don't forget to credit them. They're almost guaranteed to be following the finished product, so let them know they're appreciated! They put in time and effort for you. The least you can do is acknowledge that. Thank you! Love always.)

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"What _are_ they?" I corrected Blue Eyes absently, as I cut holes into flat sheets and tied them together.

He gave a huffing growl of anger, and turned away, staring stubbornly out to sea.

I snorted. "Are you sulking?" He didn't respond. I snorted again. "It doesn't suit you."

He gave a hoot-pant of true anger this time, drawing the eyes of everyone round us and I paused in my work, looking up in surprise. His hands were moving with furious speed, signing things I didn't know. I raised an eyebrow and waited until he turned to look at me, realising my incomprehension.

"Mouth talk stupid," he muttered.

I choked, trying to hold back a laugh.

He huffed again, wiggling his fingers, then making a sign as if pulling something off his mouth. My eyebrows rose even higher, and he huffed.

"Sign," he said, repeating the waving of his fingers. "Better." He put his hand flat over his mouth, then pulled off to the side, forming a loose fist, with his thumb still sticking out.

"Better," I murmured, repeating the sign back to him. "Good." I covered my mouth and moved my hand down, similar to the 'thank you' sign, but meeting it with my other hand. "Better." I did that one again. Blue Eyes nodded.

"You think signing is better than speaking?" I asked with a frown. Dropping the sheets out of my lap, I stood up and turned my back on him. "Okay. Sign to me now." I stood in the silence for several seconds before I turned back around. Blue Eyes was looking at me warily.

"Signing can be better," I allowed, as I sat back down. "If you need to be very quiet, or don't want humans to know what you're saying. Though some of them might know some signs.

"But sometimes talking can be better too. If it's dark, or you can't see who you're trying to communicate with. If you don't have full use of your hands, or if you're carrying something." I looked straight at him, and his eyes darted away at once, coming back to rest on my shoulder. "But both," I said firmly, "both is best."

Sitting back a little, I watched his still form as he considered. "You can speak well enough already, Blue Eyes. I can nearly always understand what you're trying to say. And you can speak much better than I can sign." I smiled, careful not to show my teeth. He gave a silent, panting laugh of agreement.

"Look," I said, sobering. "I'm not teaching you so that you can speak. You can do that already. But there's a chance you guys might have to do more than just make yourselves understood soon." Blue Eyes looked away. "Negotiations are one of the best outcomes you can hope for, and much though I hate to say it, the more human you sound, the more human they're likely to treat you."

He still refused to look at me.

"Blue—"

"Why you run from humans?" he cut across me suddenly. I went still. The change in topic was sloppy.

"Why _do_ you run," I corrected him gently. There was a slight pause.

"Why do you run... from them?" he said, undeterred.

It was my turn to look away now, considering. There was no reason not to tell him, really. I still hesitated for a long time. He didn't back down, or withdraw the request. I glanced behind me, out at the foggy sea, knowing there was a very real possibility there would never be another time to tell him my history... his family's history.

"Alright," I said, standing up. "Come with me."

Blue Eyes seemed surprised, blinking as if he hadn't really expected me to give in, but he recovered himself quickly, overtaking me as I jogged south along the bridge.

We drew many looks as we made our way past the blockade that was quickly taking shape on the end of the bridge and turned east. I slowed to a walk, considering my words carefully.

"How much do you know about your father's early life?" I asked.

Blue Eyes looked up at me from where he paced alongside me on all fours. "Some," he said. "With humans."

I nodded. "Yes, he was raised by humans. One human in particular, Will Rodman." Fumbling in my pocket, I drew out the picture I'd taken from Will's house so long ago. It hadn't even been two weeks. I handed the picture over, ignoring the other piece of paper my fingers had brushed, and Blue Eyes rose easily up onto two legs to keep walking while he examined the picture.

"Father," he murmured, looking down at the picture. I nodded.

"Yes, that's him."

"Small."

I laughed. "Yes, he was small. I bet you were once, too."

He snorted, shoving me sideways with a well placed elbow.

"Ai!" I reprimanded him wordlessly, pretending I wasn't laughing too.

He handed the picture back, and I put it back with the other, much heavier, piece of paper. "Why about him?" Blue Eyes asked. "Not your story?"

"Our stories intersect," I said grimly, the levity gone instantly. With a sigh, I ran through all the things I would have to explain for any of my story to make sense.

"Humans can get a disease, an illness, called Alzheimer's," I began. "It's... horrible. It's not something you can see, a hurt from the outside." I glanced sideways to find Blue Eyes watching me closely. "It's a problem inside. Inside the brain."

It took most of the walk to our destination for me to try and explain the effects of Alzheimer's, on those around the sufferer as well as they themselves, to Blue Eyes. He looked horrified, lips pulling back to show his teeth in his fear.

We made it all the way to the front doors whilst I told him about Charles, and how Will had been working to find a cure. It was only when Blue Eyes plucked at my wrist that I stopped. He was staring at the logo on the only one of the front doors that had not been smashed, eyes darting between it and me. I gave him a twisted smile and nodded.

"Gen-sys," I said, gesturing grandly at the building, with its shattered glass windows.

"Koba?" Blue Eyes asked, his voice quiet.

I grimaced. "Yeah. I'll get to him."

Blue Eyes remained quiet as I lead him inside, trailing me silently through the still corridors I'd once known so well. I filled his quiet, the rest of the story flowing from me quickly, until I came to a stop outside the lab I'd worked in. It was completely trashed, no doubt by the government confiscating every scrap of information they could find.

They wouldn't have found the copies though, the ones I'd taken when things started to get bad, and hidden all the way across the city.

"Why it make you afraid?" Blue Eyes asked.

I turned away from my office to look at him. "Because the virus, the virus _I_ worked on, killed people. Thousands, millions, of people. You never knew the world before, Blue Eyes. Every single building in this city was full. _Full_. That's how many people there used to be. And there were cities like this all over the world. You saw how many were left here. It's like that _everywhere_. That's how many people I killed. That's my fault."

"But you were trying to help. To find cure for sick."

"I was. But that doesn't change the fact that mothers, fathers, siblings, children, they all died. And people hate me for that. They want someone to blame. They blamed you, the apes, because it was easier than trying to blame an invisible virus. Easier than trying to rage at something you couldn't see."

"But you lived with them. They didn't hate you."

"I lied," I said bluntly, turning away and walking along the corridor. "I lied, and I lied, and I lied. It wasn't until Caesar brought everyone down from the forest, and I recognised him, that the truth came out. Someone overheard, and told all everyone else while I was up at the dam with Malcolm." I stopped again, looking along a row of plastic fronted cages. "I only came into contact with any of the others a couple of times after that," I said. "It was enough to know what their attitude was. They wouldn't never have taken me back in. They would have killed me first."

I stopped, looking into a cage, eyes drawn to the four-letter label on the door. "So yes, I'm afraid of them. I ran and I hid. Because I don't want to face what would happen if I didn't. I don't want to die like that."

Next to me, Blue Eyes was also staring at Koba's name.

"Koba was the first one we tested the new formula on. The only one we tested it on. As if he wasn't a smart enough bastard already. He had a lot of scars when he got here. I don't know where he was before, but he was so... angry. Made me nervous, even back then. So I drew the logo from this place, hoping it would throw him off."

"He's gone. Like Ash?"

"Yes," I said, my voice almost as quiet as his. "He's gone."

"Sure?"

"I'm sure. I was there. He's dead."

We were both silent for a moment. With a shiver, I turned away.

"We should get back."

Blue Eyes grunted in agreement, picking his way back down the corridor. I followed him, leaving behind the building and the ghosts inside it.


	6. What's that coming over the hill?

**A/N:** **Shit hits the fan... Hope you enjoy, as this is one of my favourite chapters!**

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It was early, very early, but I couldn't sleep. I'd already moved the truck into the woods north of the bridge so now, bundled in three sweaters and waiting for the morning fog to trickle its way towards me, I paced the bridge. My painting project was ready, but I couldn't stop myself checking the knots and the roll every time I went past, between sweeping my eyes back and forth across the dark, empty ocean.

The energy had been building all week, now at such a peak that most of the apes weren't sleeping either. I hadn't seen the females since that last encounter with Cornelia, Munchkin and the albino gorilla, Winter. Had Caesar ordered them to stay hidden? I knew he felt it too. He'd probably felt it before I had. They were coming. They'd always been coming.

 _They're not ready_.

I crouched down, determinately checking the ropes again in an attempt to push the voice aside.

 _They're not going to make it._

I closed my eyes, leaning my head forward onto the cold railings. When I opened them again, there was a patch of fog directly ahead of me that was a little bit too angular. My nose was suddenly very painful. I blinked and blinked again, telling myself that it was to check I wasn't imagining things rather than to push back the foolish tears. The shape wasn't fading away, dissipating like a bad memory or a hallucination from too little sleep. It was getting clearer, pushing out of the fog...

I was on my feet in an instant but that wasn't enough and I vaulted up onto the railing, wrapping an arm tightly around the suspension cables as I fumbled in my pocket for the binoculars with a trembling hand.

The questioning rumble from just behind me was a familiar one but I had no words, no thoughts, to give to Maurice. I just kept watching the ship drawing closer. I felt the tension on the cable as he climbed up beside me, no doubt following my gaze.

His hoot of warning was remarkably restrained, far below the volume I knew he was capable of, but it still made me jump, nearly losing my grip on both the binoculars and the bridge.

I spared a glance backwards as apes on all sides went still and quiet, their eyes searching for what mine had found. Caesar was there in an instant staring out at the ship in silence, his hand rising to touch the still healing wound on his shoulder. The sun was strengthening now, and I could almost feel it rising towards the horizon.

"You see them?" Caesar asked, just as the sun stained the fog pink and orange.

"I see them," I said, and my voice didn't tremble at all, though I expected it to. "They're coming towards the bridge." I raised the binoculars back to my eyes, pushing back my long hair that was whipped in front of my face by the breeze. "Big ship. Military." I squinted against the sun, stomach sinking. "Big guns. Really, really big guns."

Caesar grunted as I turned back to watch him, slinging the binocular strap around my neck as I changed my grip on the cable. He remained silent for a long time, staring out at the ship drawing silently closer.

Everyone was quiet, watching him, waiting.

Sudden gunfire made me duck, nearly slipping from the railing as we all wheeled around. The apes were hooting and screeching, but it wasn't enough to cover the angry retorts from the south-west. Scrambling down, I landed flat on my front on the ground, the wind knocked out of me in my attempt to get down, despite the distance between us and the angry shots that faded quickly. Caesar's eyes met mine as I rolled onto my side, avoiding my left hand, wheezing air back into my lungs.

His eyes flickered towards the ship. "Them?"

I shook my head as I climbed back to my feet. "We've been watching. They wouldn't have got close enough to land men without being seen."

"Who?"

I met his eyes but had no answer. None that I was willing to speak aloud, anyway. He turned away, issuing orders with quick gestures from his hands. I dragged myself back to the rail and refocused the binoculars but the fog was too thick for me to be able to see anything along the coast. There was a dreadful fear in my stomach. If Malcolm hadn't managed to keep control… it would only take a few of them slipping away, hiding somewhere on the coast, watching just as we were… They knew about me. They would tell the soldiers. They would warn them about the apes, tell them the story of Koba's attack before we could put the other side across… Unless I _could_ put something across first.

I ran, dodging past apes and debris alike as I sprinted along to the thick coil of white material, waiting near the centre of the bridge. With a well-placed kick of my foot, I shoved the rock over the edge, letting it drag the sheets down with it. In seconds, the tension had dragged the other end down as well, the twin weights falling fast and jerking to a stop, holding the flat sheets out, suspended from the bottom of the railings, the black paint letters clearly visible.

GO HOME

I still wasn't convinced it was the right message. I'd thought about 'turn around' and 'go back' and 'leave', but it was too late to change it now and the essential message was the same. They weren't welcome here. It was as Caesar had said. We stopped them here, or we wouldn't be able to stop them at all.

I glanced left, searching the shore at the end of the bridge for any movement, but it was simply too far away. I couldn't do anything there. I could only do something here. Taking a breath, I hauled myself back up onto the railing, wincing as I stared into the sun, raising the binoculars to my eyes and searching the deck of the ship for any figures.

They were small but they were there and with the binoculars, I could see arms like matchsticks pointing right towards me and the message strung below my feet. With baited breath, I waited, watching. Watching. Watching.

The ship began to turn.

I nearly dropped the binoculars, I was quivering so much. It was true, they were really turning. With every second I could see more of the flank of the ship as the bow nudged to the right. They were turning! They were listening! They were leaving!

They were also slowing down.

With a frown, I pressed the lenses even closer to my eyes.

As soon as he made his way along the deck, I knew he was in charge. Every other figure moved out of his path, and when he reached the rail, one of the others passed something over to him, pointing in my direction. The commander raised what I hoped were more binoculars to his own face, and for a second, we just looked at each other. He raised an arm straight up into the air and I caught my breath.

"Jac?"

I didn't recognise the rough voice and didn't waste the time looking behind me to see who it was.

"Stay back. Stay back from the railing," I said over my shoulder as I swung around to the other side of the cable, wincing as I gripped the binoculars with my left hand and pressing them back to my face, and raised my right arm up above my head, imitating his pose.

He dropped his arm and I thought I saw him take a step forward. I knew he was watching me as intently as I was watching him. My heart was hammering. This was it. He could see the message, I just had to make sure it struck home.

I wind milled my arm around my head, the movement as exaggerated as I could make it without falling off the bridge, then flung my hand out to sea. Towards them. Past them.

 _Turn around. Go_.

My breaths were sharp, pinching at my throat, my cheeks, my ears. There was a little ripple of movement along the deck of the ship as people confirmed with their neighbours that they'd seen the same thing. I moved back to the commander, still as a statue.

Swallowing, I repeated my gestures. _Turn around. Go._

"Go home," I muttered. "Go away. Go back." What were they thinking? What were they saying?

The ship was completely parallel to the bridge now and very still, hardly moving at all. I could read her name, _Daedalus_ , written along her hull. I was just as frozen, praying to anything that would listen.

More gunfire, much closer, shattered the tension. I gave a small gasping shriek of shock, slipping as I ducked down again, looking around to the left. The shots didn't die away as the others had but rattled on and I could just make out the flashes from muzzles.

I glanced back as I re-secured my hold, crouching atop the railings, wincing at the noise. Most of the apes were racing south along the bridge, towards the firefight. My stomach clenched. Blue Eyes was somewhere down there. And the females and young were still in the city. If we lost the end of the bridge, we'd be cut off from them.

Looking out to sea again, I watched the soldiers, all looking to the scene at the south of the bridge. What could they see? Could they tell the apes were… well, apes? Maybe they looked human from this distance. I doubted it.

The commander was watching just as the rest of the crew was but as another figure limped up to him, he swung his gaze back to me. I couldn't breathe, couldn't look away. He passed his binoculars off to someone else and strode off towards the stern, fully focused on the firefight.

"No," I growled gently.

Seconds later, the huge guns swung into action, firing four times. The shots themselves were too fast for me to count, but I felt every one of the impacts through the bridge below me. There was a moment of silence.

I broke it with a scream of rage that tore up my throat. I tasted blood, coughing as I scrambled back down off the railing. The apes took up my howl, screaming their own cries as they flocked to the right side of the bridge and fired on the ship. The moment was broken. Guns were firing everywhere, but the bullets aimed at the _Daedalus_ splashed into the sea well short of their target. I ran south, towards the firefight that still raged between the apes and the humans pushing up from the south end of the bridge. Skidding to a halt behind a car, I risked a glance out and only needed to see one face to have my suspicions confirmed. They were from the San Francisco colony. They'd come back.

With a snarl, I added my own gunfire to the apes' but I'd only let off a handful of shots before more explosions shook the bridge. I ducked down, covering my head with my arms as I was flung against the barricade by a shell that exploded so close it set my ears ringing. I looked up just in time to see a gorilla heave a rocket launcher up on their shoulder and fire.

I ducked again at the flare, but then launched myself towards the edge of the bridge and saw the mushroom of smoke from where it had struck the ship near the bow. Howls of triumph from the apes and shouts of anger from the humans filtered through the ringing in my ears. The ship's deck was alive with activity as tiny figures rushed around. It kept them preoccupied at least and I turned back to the more immediate threat as they sent another wave of bullets past us.

I ducked, hurrying back to cover beside a prone ape lying flat on their back even as three gorillas raced forwards and shoved a whole bus backwards, forcing those hiding behind it to flee. I spared only one glance for the still ape, seeing his chest rising and the shell-shock in his blue eyes before I leapt out and pursued them. They couldn't have much ammunition and I couldn't let them fall back and meet with the soldiers on the ship. They knew too much about the apes, about me. I only got three strides before I slowed, seeing the futility of it in the spread of their escape. There were too many of them and only one of me. Watching them run, scattering like sand in the wind, I let my shoulders slump.

In a daze, I turned away from the fleeing humans, glancing back out to sea, where the smoking ship was retreating, turning south as it made its steady way out of the bay. The apes were celebrating, but I was silent as I trudged my way north through their ranks.

The walk did nothing to clear my head. Reaching the place where the rope holding up my sign was wound around the railings, I dropped to a crouch and hacked it free with my knife. The weight of the rock swinging down tore the other corner free, and the mass of white fabric plummeted down, landing with a splash far below. I watched as the rocks dragged it down to the depths, taking with it the last hope of peace.

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 **A/N: Let me know what you thought! P.S. sorry for not getting around to replying to reviews on the last chapter! Uni work is absolutely manic right now!**


	7. It's War

**A/N:** 5 reviews on that last chapter! Thank you so much to all of you!

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Caesar had shouted after me but I kept walking. I didn't run, just maintained my deliberate pace. Only when I was past the apes and their watching eyes, past the end of the bridge, past the blast debris and blood splatters, did I speed up. The jog did nothing to calm the raging storm of thoughts inside me. Ever since Caesar had agreed I could stay, pieces of various plans had been swirling around, trying to slot themselves together. Wrecking the supplies in the city and the message on the bridge had only been the start, but the return of people who'd been living here before threatened a far bigger idea.

I didn't try and follow them south. No doubt they were way ahead of me and I was sure Caesar would have sent some apes to do a reconnaissance mission anyway. In reality, I was just running to get away. Away from everyone else. Away from myself.

Without any idea of where I was, I came to a stop and sank down onto the sidewalk, breathing hard. Once more, I pulled the picture of Caesar and Will out of my pocket, but it wasn't the ape that my eyes focused on. I had never felt like I'd sided with the apes for the sake of Will's memory before, but now questions were swirling, possibilities I'd never considered before coming to nag at me. Had I failed him already? The first bullets of a war had been fired.

Something white fluttered to the ground and I reached out on instinct, catching it before it could blow away. Another piece of paper, folded in half. I frowned, opening it out.

I realised what it was just before I saw my name in terse letters on the front of the envelope. The message, if it could be called that, which Denny had left for me before I'd gone up to the woods. Was he one of the ones who'd charged the bridge? My hand clenched at the thought, crushing the paper between my fingers, deepening the creases that would never come out.

My gaze drifted and I drifted with it, watching leaves tumble down the street without really seeing them. The quiet was too precious to disturb, but eventually, numb and hungry, I sighed and looked around. The sun was high now, quickly burning off the mist. Time to go slinking back, and see what the apes had learnt. I hesitated for only a second before shoving both pieces of paper back into my pocket together. Heaving myself back to my feet, I began to wander slowly back towards the ape's stronghold.

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Caesar's councils were somehow always both quieter and louder than I expected. The apes watching would hoot their support or anger, but the one speaking didn't have to shout over the top of them to be heard. Maybe Blue Eyes was right; maybe sign was better. Caesar still liked to let the noise die down before giving his contributions. It gave the others more of a chance to get in front of him but also seemed to give his own opinions more gravitas. Or maybe he just liked to be dramatic.

Slipping in halfway through a loud chorus of hooting, I had no trouble making my quiet way along the wall to a window that had been broken and boarded over, sliding onto the sill and pulling my feet up beside me. It took a supreme amount of effort to focus my eyes on the rapidly moving hands in the inner circle, but there was very little point. I had learnt most of the basic necessary orders, and other random words I was picking up over time, but without Blue Eyes to translate the strings of signs, I was lost in seconds. Of course, it was better for him to participating, rather than pandering to my inability to...

Frowning, I scanned the circle again. Blue Eyes wasn't there. I knew one heart-stopping moment of fear. There had been bodies on the bridge. Surely he wasn't... I looked to Caesar and shrugged the thought away. He wouldn't be this calm if his son had been killed. So where was Blue Eyes now?

"How many?" Caesar's words brought my head back up, and I watched Rocket sign back, spreading his two hands apart. Lots? Many? I didn't think it indicated a small amount. There were more signs afterwards, but none I could recognise or infer any meaning from.

Caesar grunted slightly, his eyes wandering and somehow finding me. I glanced away for a moment before returning his gaze, watching him beckon to me. I hesitated. It was only the memory of begging him to allow me to stay, of blabbering about all the ways I could help, that made me stand up and pick my way forwards, wondering what was wrong with me as I did so. Caesar had given me a way out, a place where I didn't have to be alone. The humans hadn't been an option, and he'd given me a different one. I'd promised to help as much as I could in return. Why was I feeling so apathetic now? What would happen when helping turned from giving advice and information, or trying to communicate from atop a bridge, to turning a gun on my own species?

I nearly stumbled at that thought. Was I not past the idea of 'us' and 'them' yet? I was firmly responsible for most of this whole mess, including the deaths of countless souls. Was I about to baulk at a few more, or was I just too much of a coward to do it directly?

Crouching down beside Maurice, I glanced up, finding a pair of eyes staring right at me. It wasn't one of the ones in the circle, but an ape on the outside of it, watching from the front of the ring of onlookers. I recognised him as one of Koba's followers. Blinking, I looked away first, meeting Caesar's gaze.

"Beach, just past the zoo. Next to a lake," he said. I glanced away, trying to remember the coastline. It was amazing how quickly I'd forgotten maps, and though I'd looked over several in the past few days, the details eluded me.

 _Maybe it's because you wouldn't be able to deny that you were a murderer then_. I nearly growled in frustration. The topic just wouldn't leave me alone. The zoo, I tried to bring myself back on topic. I knew the zoo, had been there in the madness just after the outbreak, and a lake... there was a lake nearby. A collection of several lakes...

I nodded, the memories coming back. "Lake Merced," I said. "The ship can't have landed there though, right? It's still at sea?"

All eyes turned towards one of the apes further to my left, who nodded and signed quickly.

"Small boats, bring men to beach," Caesar said.

"What's the terrain like?"

Again the other ape signed, and I looked to Caesar as he finished, wondering again where Blue Eyes was.

"Flatter than here," Caesar said.

I nodded slowly. "The ship will be covering them with their guns then. Are the others there, the ones who attacked the south of the bridge?"

The ape nodded. I closed my eyes briefly. It was an effort not to curse.

"They'll be wringing them for every bit of information they've got," I said, glancing up at Caesar. "You should move. Straight away."

Caesar nodded. "Females already moving," he grunted.

"You should send the mothers and young back to the woods," I said bluntly.

He frowned. "The rest?"

I raised an eyebrow. "There are still more guns."

There were hoots of protest as they realised what I meant, and Caesar gave a sniff of disapproval as he turned away.

"Caesar, they're here," I said. "They. Are. Here. And they know way more about fighting than you or me. The numbers could make a difference."

He huffed again but didn't say anything.

I held back a sigh. "I'll have another look at the maps, but I think there are two roads in. Might be able to surprise them from the south."

Caesar nodded, then signed to the others, who gave rumbles of agreement and broke apart. I paused, letting them move away, and doing my best to ignore the continued gaze of Koba's ex-ally. Giving Caesar one last glance, I stood up and walked out. At least I had something to do now, and I knew where to start.

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I was only three streets away when I came across the females and young, moving steadily across the city with huge gorillas flanking them on all sides, guns looking like toys in their grip. The high hoot was the first warning I got and I looked right in time to see Cornelius jump down from his mother and come scampering over to me.

"Hello, Munchkin," I said, smiling despite myself as he climbed quickly up to my shoulder. "What's going on?"

To my surprise, he signed back, one hand jumping back and forth beside my ear. With a small laugh, I turned my head to look, but he'd stopped, calling to his mother whilst tugging on my long hair. I caught up with her quickly, falling into the procession under the watchful eyes of the gorillas, and many curious stares from the other youngsters.

Cornelia repeated her son's sign, and he hooted excitedly, mirroring it back to her.

"Move," she said, and I nodded as Cornelius swung down to my elbow then back up again.

"Moving. Exciting, huh?" I smiled at his renewed hoots, though inside my heart was breaking. How long would it be before he realised this wasn't some big adventure to an exciting new place? What would it take, to burn that innocence out of him? I wished we wouldn't find out.

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 **A/N:** A bit of down time, but we've gotta vary the pace. Sorry it took a while to post, I've only just managed to finish writing chapter 10. Uni is insanely busy, and I just don't have the time to write that I used to. However, I am really excited for the next few chapters, so they may come a little faster. Please review and let me know what you think.  
I'm also looking for some new stuff to read, so if you have any recommendations, I'd love to hear them! A couple of things; if it's PotAs, the new adaptations only pls, but other fandoms are also welcome. If I'm familiar with it, I'll give it a read. Also, no self-promos please. I want to know what you've enjoyed reading, not what you want more hits on. Thanks!


	8. And it's Ugly

**A/N:** 4 very fast reviews on the last chapter, my thanks to all of you! I've quite literally finished off one chapter and written 2 more in the last 24 hours, and I hate being so far ahead of you guys, so here's the next chapter already. A little more going on that 7, and leading into 9, which I'm SO excited for you guys to read!  
Got stuck on the title for this one, so just going to continue the run-on from 6 and 7, cos why not? XD Enjoy, and please review!

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It was hours since I'd been truly focused. Now, I was just bored, and barely watching the road as a result. The maps had indeed revealed two roads leading towards the beach where I'd estimated from the apes' accounts that the soldiers had landed, but scouting missions had reported that buildings had collapsed across the southern access. They could still get around the blockage to observe the soldiers, but any organised approach would run into difficulties.

The northern entrance was quickly being fortified, a barricade growing by the hour from what the scouts said. Any push on that front was time sensitive, and now the soldiers were moving into the city as well. I was part of the line of watchers surrounding the building that now housed the female apes. All the females apes. Not one of them had been added to the number of fighters. It was an effort for me to unclench my jaw. Whether it was Caesar's fear or his stubbornness, the result was the same; the apes had fewer numbers than they should have done. No one could say if it would ultimately make a difference.

I scanned the street again, but it remained empty and quiet, the only movement from dust being swept across the road by an errant breeze. There hadn't even been any mist this morning, and I could almost feel winter looming on the horizon. Without months and days anymore, the mist had become half of our calendar, and its demise was a reminder that colder days weren't that far away. Hopefully, we'd get several more weeks before they hit. The real question was what state would we be in when that time came. At this rate, it would be death by boredom.

The explosion made me want to take back that last thought, making me jump as I looked across towards the previous base. I could just make out the mushroom of smoke rising. Part one of the plan must have been at least a partial success then. I glanced the other way, off to the west, towards where there would be a cavalry charge heading straight towards the beach, and apes readying to fire on the ship as well. That was much too far away for me to see any sign of the attacks but I kept looking anyway, not turning away until the rattle of gunfire exploded almost due south.

Pushing away from the window, I hurried across the empty office space and down the dark stairs. My part here was over - the soldiers hadn't come this way. I wanted, _needed_ , to see what was going on. The gunfire had died away by the time I reached the ground, but I headed south at a brisk walk, sure that I would find the site eventually.

I was right. The line of watchers had been a couple of blocks away from the actual building where the females were hidden, and I'd only walked ten more blocks when I glanced left and saw flashes of movement. Turning, I quickened my pace even further, watching the apes moving back and forth across the open intersection. My steps slowed considerably as I got closer, and my eyes found the figures that weren't moving, sprawled over all over the road.

Fresh bullet holes riddled the buildings, patches of clean concrete showing through the mould and dirt where the facades had cracked and fallen away. Below were the bodies, the fresh stink of death permeating the air around them. Frozen, I stood and stared around, looking without seeing. Wide staring eyes. A woman flung over a younger man, both of them still and silent. Blood, blood, and more blood.

I stumbled across to a street light, sinking to my haunches with its support, and let myself cry. For the needless lives lost, on both sides. For the apes, who hadn't wanted this. For the humans, who should have listened and gone home while there was still a chance.

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I could happily have stayed there all day, staring numbly at the scene that didn't get any better, however long I looked, but furtive movement in the corner of my eye made me glance up dully. It was Blue Eyes, surveying the scene from a street corner as if unwilling to step into the open. I watched him numbly, taking in the roughness of his fur and the hunch of his shoulders. I hadn't actually seen him since the soldiers had arrived. Finishing his observation, his eyes skittered away from the dead strewn all around, finding mine. For a second he froze, then he quickly withdrew, disappearing from sight. I blinked, feeling a growing anger. So that was why I hadn't seen him. He was avoiding me. Well, if that was what he wanted, it was fine by me.

A second later, I changed my mind, flinging myself to my feet and charging across the intersection, startling the few apes that remained. Blue Eyes didn't try to flee, which was lucky or I would never have caught him. Instead, he turned to see who pursued him, immediately dropping his gaze to the floor, hunching over even more when he saw me.

"What?!" I spat, more forcefully than I intended. "What the hell did I do? I tried, okay! I tried! It's not my fault! I did the best I could! It's not my fault."

Blue Eyes was staring up at me in shock and slight trepidation, eyes wide as my rant tailed off at his expression.

"I'm sorry," I said, my knees shaking again as I turned away. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—"

A hand gripped my wrist and I shut up very fast.

"Not... you," he muttered.

Glancing back at him, I opened my mouth, then closed it again. His eyes were very wide. Slowly, I crouched down, twisting my arm to return his grip.

"You've been avoiding me," I stated. He didn't dispute the fact. "I thought it was because you were angry at me. Because I couldn't stop the soldiers from coming."

He was shaking his head before I'd even finished.

I took a breath, relief and worry warring inside me. "So why? What happened?"

"Thought you would be... mad at me," he said, not meeting my eyes.

"What?!" I asked, confused. "Blue, why would I be mad at you?" He was still looking anywhere but at me. "What happened?" I repeated gently.

"Froze," he said, so quietly I wasn't sure I'd heard the word right. "On bridge. Couldn't shoot. Didn't help. Froze."

For a second, all I could do was stare at him, white showing around his blue eyes, and I suddenly remembered an ape, hiding behind a car on the bridge, frozen with terror, face so transformed with fear that I hadn't even recognised him...

"Failed," Blue Eyes finished miserably.

"No," I said instantly. "No, Blue, that's not true." My voice grew firmer with every word. "Fear is natural. It's our body's way of keeping us alive. And it doesn't mean you failed. Fighting isn't the only way to fight. Do you think your father has fought all his battles with guns?"

"Want to fight," Blue Eyes said, but he didn't look at me.

I tightened my grip on his wrist. "I'd be sad to believe that," I said. For an instant, he looked at me. "Is that what you want?" I asked him, pointing my other hand back towards the bodies behind us. "Is that all you want your world to be? Blood and death?"

Slowly, his eyes following the path of my finger, he shook his head.

"There's more than one way to fight," I said again. "Find yours."

There was a clatter of hooves behind me, and I looked around, releasing Blue Eyes's wrist with a final squeeze, leaving him looking subdued as I strode back out into the intersection. This time, I didn't look at the dead, focusing instead on the apes that had just arrived, watching Caesar survey the scene.

I hung back for a few moments, letting him distribute orders before I approached him.

"They'll come to find out what happened here," I said.

"They know," Caesar replied, pointing across the street. It took me several seconds to pick out the ruin of a camera rig above a gun nest. For a second, my heart stopped, then I saw the angle it was hanging at, and the mess of wires sticking out the side. My first instinct was to go and have a look at it, to see if I could work out how they had been transmitting the pictures back. Or maybe it was just a recording, and their base didn't know what had gone on here yet.

"Then they might come for the bodies," I said. My voice didn't falter.

Caesar nodded. "Maybe. We'll be ready." He turned his horse away before I processed what he'd said.

"Ready?" I repeated to myself. "Hey!" I ran after him, jumping back when his horse tossed its head. "What does that mean? Ready? What..."

He just looked at me.

"No," I said. "No way. You can't ambush them when they're recovering their dead."

Caesar turned his horse back towards me, his face hard. "Advantages must..."

"No!" I spoke over him, nearly shouting. "You can't be serious."

Again, he just looked at me before turning away.

"Is that what you want them to think of you?" I shouted after him, drawing every pair of eyes. "Is that who you want them to see you as?"

He didn't turn back and I cursed, spinning around. I wasn't going to let it happen. For the apes' sake more than for the humans. But I needed more information first, about how the other attacks had gone, and what the situation was like on the coast. And I needed to get it before word spread about my argument with Caesar, making possible sources even warier than they already were.

I glanced up at the sun. It was past midday already. Gritting my teeth, I turned and ran.


	9. Delivery Service

**A/N:** I did say I'd put this chapter up a couple of hours ago... but unfortunately science did not co-operate, so I was a bit busier in the lab than I'd anticipated. Still, home before 1600 is a success.  
I hope you like this chapter, it starts the ball rolling on several things, some to come over the next couple of chapters, any laying some ground work for some later things ;) Enjoy, and let me know what you think :D

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Dusk found me back at the intersection with a flatbed truck, several pieces of wood, and a lot of determination. If there were apes watching, they did nothing to reveal themselves as I turned the truck around to face west and backed up to the intersection. The light was fading quickly, though there was no mist tonight, and I wanted to be done as quickly as possible. I didn't like having to drive in the dark.

Luckily, storage crates were something we'd never run short of, and during my purge of the cities supplies, I hadn't thought to do anything with them so I had plenty to stack up behind the van as steps. I'd ripped plasterboard off windows to complete the makeshift ramp and I assembled it quickly, glancing around but still seeing no sign of any apes.

I tried not to count the dead as I stripped each body of weapons, gagging at the smell, then dragged their stiff weight up into the truck. I did count the number of times I lost control of my stomach. It wasn't until I got to the pair I'd noticed earlier - a woman who'd fallen half on top of a young man - that I had a real shock.

I gave the woman's arm a huge tug, expecting to have to battle rigor mortis to turn her over and extract her gun, and she rolled like a pin, head lolling from side to side, a moan escaping her mouth. I scrambled backwards so fast that I tripped and ended up sprawled backwards on the tarmac with scraped palms. Some part of me was almost expecting her to rise to her feet and come after me with sightless eyes, arms outstretched, seeking brains to eat. She didn't. She didn't move again at all, apart from a slight rise and fall of her chest.

Heart still pounding, I climbed shakily to my feet and inched closer, eventually nudging her with my toe before jumping back. She didn't respond. Very slowly, with shaking hands, I reached out and laid two fingers on her neck. Nothing. I shifted the position a little higher, pressing harder. There. A pulse. Not strong, or particularly stable, but undeniably present. She was alive.

I stared down at her for several seconds. Older than me by at least a decade, there was grey speckled in her hair, and the start of lines etched across her face. There were blood splatters across her chest, and one of her legs was stained red all the way to the knee. I swallowed. She was alive now, but who knew how long she would stay that way. I needed to get her back to her people.

 _Why? So they can save her so she can come back and attack the apes again?_

I swallowed at the thought, but what other options were there? My brain immediately offered one up, and I shut it down instantly. I was not an executioner. She was only one person, and from the amount of blood, she might not even make it. I glanced around at the other bodies. Only one alive. Surely I could save that many.

I went still. She wasn't the only one alive. The younger man she'd been on top of was breathing as well. I cursed under my breath, hopping over her to examine him. There was a deep purple bruise just below his short dark hair, but he seemed otherwise uninjured. The name patch on his chest read 'McCullough'.

I looked away quickly. I hadn't wanted to see the names of the dead men I was returning, didn't want to admit they were that real.

This one wasn't dead though. There were two lives I could save. McCullough and—I glanced behind me—Forest. Two names I could remember. But only if I got a move on.

I sprang back into action, striping them both of weapons and dragging them to the truck with a little more care than I'd shown the others. There were only two more dead after that, and I had them in the truck before the sun touched the horizon.

Jumping into the cab, I glanced in the rear-view mirror and turned the engine over as I pulled the strip of cloth around my neck up over my mouth and nose. I couldn't take any chances that one of the pair might come around. Fixing my eyes on the road ahead, I began to drive.

.

.

The lights turned off, I crept the truck forwards as quietly as I could towards the collapsed apartment buildings that blocked the road to the south of the beach. As Rocket had said, the soldiers were still there, and I could see the spotlights they'd rigged up. Despite the distance, they were more than enough to see by as I turned the truck around and killed the engine, holding my breath in the silence that followed.

No one jumped out at me or gave a cry of alarm so, checking the bandana was still covering my face and that my hair was falling freely past my shoulders, I hopped out, leaving the door open rather than risk slamming it. Working the handle was awkward with my gloved hands, the last finger on the left stuffed full, to hide my missing joints. It irritated the scabs over the wound, but it was better than baring the distinctive feature for any observer to see. Better to hide it now than try to hide it later for longer.

Hurrying around to the back of the truck, I let the tailgate down and was immediately hit in the face with something large and heavy. My grunt of surprise was lost in the sudden expulsion of air from my lungs as I was slammed back on the ground, my head ringing from the impact. Someone above me cursed then drove a hard blow into my chest. My mind panicked, unable to draw in a breath to replace the one I'd lost, and my body followed suit, flailing around and connecting with the person straddling me as the points of light popped in my vision.

They blocked my hits but it gave me time to breathe and with as oxygen returned, so did my thoughts. I bucked my hips, writhing and twisting until I felt them thrown to the side just enough for me to kick one leg up, knocking them off completely. I rolled the other way, coming up to my hands and knees, flicking my hair back to look across the road at my attacker.

It was the woman I'd saved, Forest. Staggering slightly, I stood up, touching the back of my head and feeling something sticky.

Cursing to myself, I faced Forest, still on the ground, her injured leg sprawled out to the side, her hands frantically searching her pockets.

"Your weapons are gone," I said with a cough, rubbing my chest where she'd struck me. It was going to bruise.

"And what?" she spat, eyes wild in the darkness. "You brought me out here to execute me?" Her voice was coarse than I'd expected but the roughness wasn't quite enough to cover the British accent.

"Not quite," I said sourly. "Look for yourself." I nodded my head past her.

She watched me suspiciously for a moment, then glanced backwards, going still as she saw the spotlights on the beach.

"You're welcome," I said, stomping over to the back of the truck, watching her out the corner of my eye.

She went stiff at my movement, then drew in a huge lungful of air.

"You shout for help, and I'm leaving," I said quickly, trying to cover the haste with hardness in my tone. "And I'll take them with me."

She looked back at me, clearly still considering shouting out, her eyes finding the shapes in the back of the truck.

"You brought the bodies back," she said.

"They're not all bodies," I said grimly. "So keep your mouth shut, and they might still get help in time. Either sit there and keep quiet or give me a hand getting them down."

Turning my back to her, I hopped up onto the truck bed and grabbed a pair of stiff shoulders, heaving them towards the edge. Forest hadn't moved, just sat watching as I pushed the body off the edge, visibly flinching as it hit the ground with a thud. She looked away and I swallowed. She would know these people, their names, their faces.

Jumping down, I dragged the body out of the way, ready to repeat the process when a scraping of dirt gave me a second of warning. I spun on my toes, lunging sideways to avoid her messy tackle, but her hand still caught on the holster that had been sitting on my thigh for the past week. Her fingers found the empty space within before I knocked her away.

"You're not armed," she said, eyes narrowing.

"No, I'm not," I said, heading back for the next body. I hadn't gone two paces when the sound of hurried movement made me turn back. Forest was limping away towards the beach as fast as her ruined leg would carry her.

With a growl of frustration, I stalked after her, landing a solid kick to the back of her bad leg that sent her crashing to the ground. Planting myself above her, I crossed my arms, glaring down at her angry face.

"I'll break your other leg if I have to," I said. "That should give me enough time to finish here before you get close enough to get their attention. And I'll take the one who's still alive with me and dump him in the woods."

"You're bluffing," she snarled.

"Try me."

She held my gaze for another moment before looking away. I was halfway back to the truck when she called after me.

"Who is it?" she asked, her voice lower than I'd expected. Maybe my threat had finally hit home. "Who else survived?"

"I don't know," I lied as I climbed up and began heaving the next body to the lip of the truck.

"Geary?" she pressed. "Sasaki?" There was a pause. "McCullough?"

I glanced back and her face twitched, taking it as the confirmation it was. Forest climbed determinately back to her feet and came limping over. She didn't flinch this time as the body hit the ground, but grabbed their ankles, dragging them slowly out of the way.

I paused to watch her wonky gait, then sighed. We were halfway through the pile when I found the man still breathing, and heaved him up, dragging him slowly to the edge, where Forest was waiting.

"John," she muttered, as I eased him down into her arms. She took his weight, despite her injury, carrying him a few steps away and examining him as I finished unloading the other bodies.

Only when I'd finished, and snapped the back of the truck shut, did she look back up at me.

"You were the one on the bridge, weren't you?"

I looked at her, feeling the weight of the cloth covering the bottom half of my face. I nodded.

"You're on their side?" she accused me

Leaning back against the truck, I crossed my arms.

"I'm on the side where everyone is left alone and people stop dying."

"So what was this then?"

I met her eyes. "Call it a peace offering. Or persuasion. You know who's in charge over there?" I jerked my head at the beach and she went stiff. "I'll take that as a yes. Give them a message, from an involved party. I meant what I said. _Go home_. Get back on your ship, and go back north to wherever it is you came from. Leave us... leave _them_ alone."

I held her gaze for another second before turning away, back towards the open door of the truck.

"He won't go for it," she called after me.

"Tell him anyway," I replied wearily, slamming the door behind me. As I pulled away, I saw her figure in the rear-view mirror as she limped off towards the beach. I even thought I could see the dark shape of John McCullough left on the ground. I told myself that I only hoped they would make it so they could deliver my message. It was a lie.


	10. Searching for a Middle Ground

I drove much faster on the way back to the city that I had when I'd left and seemed hit every single pothole as a result. It didn't help that I spent more time watching my mirrors for signs of pursuit than looking at the road. On the outskirts of the city, I ran out of gas and abandoned the truck, shivering slightly as I jogged further towards downtown, where the apes had chosen to sleep. I was several blocks away when I let myself come to a stop, glancing behind me once more, eyes sweeping for any movement. There was nothing and I smiled as I turned back.

The smile left my face as I tracked three hulking figures strutting towards me, the white fur of the one on the right glowing in the moonlight. With a sigh, I crossed my arms and waited.

"Caesar... want... see... you," the one in front grunted slowly.

I frowned. "You found me. So can he." With that, I turned and stalked away, skirting around them towards the building I'd made my own nest in, having vacated the library at last.

The apes didn't move as I made my exit, but I heard some indistinguishable words from behind me, and the sound of heavy paws. I glanced back and saw two dark shapes moving off. Winter, the albino gorilla, was following me, eyes fixed on the ground as he picked his way over shadowy debris. My stomach clenched but I just turned away, making my way inside and up to the first floor, curling up on the pile of blankets I'd stashed in a dark corner and hugging my knees to my chest.

Winter followed more slowly, eventually crouching down in the shadows a few feet away. His fur still glowed, even in the darkness.

I averted my gaze and tried to convince myself that I didn't regret what I'd done. It was a very long night.

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Dawn had broken when I heard movement in the stairwell, blinking my tired eyes as I tilted my head without lifting it away from the wall. Caesar emerged first, with Luca, Rocket and Blue Eyes behind him. I let my gaze dropped, turning away to continue my contemplation of the line of the wall. There was a snort and Winter heaved himself up, knuckling away. I listened to the remaining apes coming closer and closed my eyes. One more second of whatever peace still existed.

With a deep breath, I sat up straight, turning to face them and looking Caesar straight in the face. I did not look at Blue Eyes.

Caesar didn't speak right away but paced around a couple of times before coming to a halt in front of me. I waited, determined not to break the silence. I needed to know his stance before I could construct any sort of defence.

"You disobeyed."

"You never ordered me not to do it," I countered. My voice didn't shake but my hands, clenched in my lap, were trembling.

"Would it have stopped you if I had?"

I hesitated. "I guess we won't know."

Luca growled, a rumble deep in his chest that made me almost flinch, eyes dropping to the ground.

"You lost us a chance for an advantage," Caesar said, moving closer. "What did we gain?"

"Another chance for peace," I said, raising my eyes. "A chance to show them that you can be _better_." The word was a snarl and it hung in the air as I stared Caesar down.

He turned away first, signing to the others. They all hesitated, then Luca and Rocket left. Blue Eyes dithered some more, but I refused to look his way, and he slunk off as well.

Caesar turned back to me, moving closer than ever.

"Jac."

"Say it had played out your way," I said, after it became clear he wasn't going to say anything more. "They came back to the same place. You wait until you have the most _advantage_ , when their guard is down, busy gathering their dead. Say they were unprepared enough that you kill them all." I glancing at him. "We put a lot of importance on bodies. It's not a good message to send, showing you don't respect their desire to reclaim their dead.

"My way, we show compassion. We show them we are more than what they expected. We send them a message, that we don't want to fight, that we just want them to leave."

Caesar shook his head slowly. "I never want attack blind. From behind back."

I sighed, rubbing my face. "But you couldn't have taken them back either. And they couldn't have known what you would do. You were both stuck. I had another option. I took it."

"Yes. _You_ took it. _You_ send message," Caesar said. "With no promise they will understand."

"They'll understand," I said, picking at my fingers. "They weren't all dead."

His eyes flared in understanding and for the first time, he looked truly angry. "And if those you save come back, hurt us more?"

I met his gaze. "I'm just trying to help," I said. It wasn't an answer and we both knew it.

He stood up. "If you've changed your mind," he said slowly, not looking at me, "I will say nothing. You can go to them. Safely. Or leave, like others."

"Don't do that," I said angrily. "That's not what I'm saying."

"Think," he said simply as he walked away.

"What do you want me to do?!" I shouted, coming to my feet.

"Choose a side," he said, without looking back.

"I already have!" I shouted, but he was gone.

Cursing, I turned away, aiming a kick at a piece of broken pipe. It went skittering away across the floor and my toes started throbbing. Cursing again, but more softly this time, I crouched down by an empty window frame, grinding my hands on the ledge and ignoring the pain.

A soft hoot behind me brought my head up and I sighed.

"Blue. Are you okay?"

He nodded. _You okay?_ He signed at me.

I shrugged. "I think I need to be alone for a little while. I'm sorry."

He mirrored my shrug, reaching out to touch my shoulder before retreating back down the stairs.

Rolling over, I put my back to the wall, rubbing my painful finger, feeling the stitches over the scab. Caesar didn't know what he was talking about. I knew exactly which side I was on.

 _But are you committed to it?_

I scowled at the implication of the thought. Of course I was committed. I'd risked my life to take Forest, McCullough and their companions back, and ensured they knew the reason why. What more did they want from me?

 _Maybe it's not about_ your _life._

I went still as I remembered firing a gun wildly over my shoulder at the apes pursuing me as I fled the capitol building. I hadn't even stopped to think about the fact that I might hit one of them before I'd pulled the trigger. But I'd yet to shot at a human.

I'd aimed a gun at Carver with the intention of following through if he'd pushed me. I'd fired on the people from the colony who'd attacked the south end of the bridge. But that had been covering fire, unlikely to hit anyone. I'd never aimed a gun directly at a human and pulled the trigger. Because I hadn't had a chance to? Or because I couldn't?

I sat there for a long time. How many times had I woken in the middle of the night, or failed to get to sleep, the word 'murderer' running in circles around my head? My actions had undeniably caused death. Many deaths, in fact. Was the direct responsibility so different?

My head said no. My heart said yes.

My head told me that I couldn't swap sides even if I'd wanted to, not with the colonists there. My heart told me I would never forgive myself if I just left. Was there another option? In this harsh version of the world, was there even a middle ground to find?

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A/N: Sorry about the wait for this chapter. I was doubting the path this fic is currently taking (aka, the next chapter is hell, and you're all going to hate me for it), and so Jac stopped talking to me. She's just started whispering again, so I'm going to stick with it rather than try and shove her in another direction. So, yeah. Sorry about the break, and thanks for all of your reviews. They mean a lot.


	11. Perspective

"Group of eight," I murmured, peering through the binoculars. "Watching the rooftops. Tell them to keep their distance. They might be seen if they go too close to the edge."

The ape beside me huffed as he relayed the message and there was a pause as he watched for a response and I kept my eyes on the soldiers.

"Any stragglers?" Blue Eyes asked.

"Not yet. They're staying together," I said, squinting. "Wait... they're turning. Heading further west." I lowered the binoculars, wiggling away from the edge of the building on my stomach, rolling over to watch Blue signing. Past him, I could see the strings of apes on rooftops, the lines of communication extending all the way over the city.

"Hey," I said, nodding off to the south, where a chimp had a hand raised, the signal for a message waiting to be passed on. "Over there."

Blue Eyes followed my pointing finger, watching the chimp sign. I squinted, but although my vocabulary was coming along fast, I still couldn't keep up with the pace of their communication.

"Single soldier. Alone," Blue Eyes said. "Inside locked building. Can't get to them."

"Where?"

"Two, five," he said, pointing north then east.

I nodded. "Okay. I'll take him." I handed over the binoculars, clumsily signed to the other chimp and jumped to my feet.

Blue watched me with cautious eyes, but I just gave him a hard nod and strode away. One of the other chimps on our roof waiting to relay messages down to the ground knuckled forwards to take my place.

The network had been Blue Eyes's idea and he'd implemented it well. I'd even managed to talk him and Caesar into letting some of the female apes be a part of it. The mothers and young remained out of harm's way, but the other adult females had stepped up to the task without hesitation. The thought made something twitch in my chest. A flicker in the space my heart used to be.

.

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Reaching the ground, I pulled my blue checked bandana, now a permanent fixture, up over my mouth and nose and headed one block north before turning east, honing in on my destination while keeping out of sight. It didn't take long for me to find the right building.

It was a bank, all its windows intact. The sheer volume of unbroken glass made it stand out. The government had been very concerned about people robbing the banks, posting guards on them almost instantly, but once the severity of the virus became apparent, looters were far more concerned with supplies of food and water than money.

I looked the building over in more detail. The enemy must have got in somehow. That meant I could get inside too. Retreating slightly, I rounded the block from a distance, watching for any movement. I soon caught sight of the watcher, just inside a third-floor window, looking west.

Backtracking out of his line of vision, I skirted around the other way. I circled the building completely without seeing a way in and, stymied, crouched down to watch the distorted figure again. They had got in. But how?

Slipping away, I made my way to the other side of the building and risked darting across the street to the base of the walls. If there was someone watching this building, I'd have to trust to my bandana and my long hair to keep them from getting a good look at me. If they tried to shot me... well, maybe they would have bad aim.

Even creeping along the walls, it still took me two passes to spot the discrepancy. It was nothing more than a fraction of a shadow along the join of a door and I had to come within inches of the gap to see it. The door wasn't completely closed.

I extracted my knife and dug it carefully into the crack, levering the door open until I could hold it with my fingertips. Slipping inside, I felt along the frame in the semi-darkness and shook my head. They'd stuffed something into the jamb, preventing the latch from catching. Very carefully, I eased the door closed, making sure to leave a tiny gap, just as they had. Then, with my knife still held tightly in my grasp, I felt my way blindly along the hallway.

It took me even longer to find the stairs than it had to find the way in, time enough for my nerves to spike and dissipate again. My heart was still beating fast, but my hands were steady as I crept up as silently as I could. I was getting used to the nerves. It seemed to be the only thing I felt anymore.

Unfortunately, the door to the third floor was closed and I'd gotten completely turned around in my search downstairs, so I had no way of knowing where the soldier was in relation to the door. There could be several walls between us or nothing at all. I spent an eternity stood in silence, listening with all my might, trying to hear past the pulsing of blood in my ears but getting nothing. Eventually, I reached out and grasped the handle, turning it in infinitesimally small increments, half expecting to be shredded with gunfire at any moment. I survived long enough to the catch to click free obnoxiously loudly.

By some miracle, the hinges didn't creak, but the door did scrape a little on the carpeted floor, making me wince as I eased it open to the point where I could peer through. There was no one in sight, but I could see out a window, to where the sun was peaking in the sky. South. So they were to my right. I eased the door open a few more inches, hating every scuff against the carpet, and slipped through.

Hugging the wall, I inched along the hallway, chancing glances into every room, fingering the grip of my knife nervously until the crackle of a radio made me freeze.

"Negative," a male voice said after the crackling had died away. "Not since the five kongs reported earlier. Over."

I frowned. Kongs? Maybe I'd misheard. There was another spate of static, a garbled voice on the other end of the radio, and I took the cover to creep another few steps forwards.

"Understood, on my way now. Out."

I froze, the voice only feet away, issuing from the very next doorway. Scuttling forwards, I waited with bated breath, heart pounding again as I listened to some concentrated movement then footsteps.

I reaffirmed my grip on my knife, taking a deep breath, my back flat again the wall.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Movement. A leg first, followed almost instantly by a torso.

I launched myself forwards, my knife leading the charge but being deflected off body armour. They gave a short cry of shock that turned into a yell of aggression. A hard fist drove into my side as their other hand went for their gun. I slashed and blood rose from a wound on a wrist. They tried to retreat but I pressed harder, bringing my knee up between their legs. They twisted their hips just in time, taking the blow on their thigh, but I kicked their knee out sideways and they staggered. We both went down with me on top and I shoved an arm aside, giving me a clear swing at their throat.

The knife went in with only token resistance, and came out again just as fast, bringing a torrent of blood with it. They panicked, scrabbling at the wound, trying to stem the flow. I took the opportunity to wiggle away, heaving them over onto their front, pining one elbow with my knee and holding the other tightly with both hands, watching the red stain spreading out from their neck as they struggled desperately, denying the fact that it was already too late.

Their struggles slowed, then ceased. I still held on, waiting until I could no longer hear the sickening spurts of blood before relinquishing my grip, checking for a pulse on their wrist. There was none.

I took a deep breath, shivering all over to work the crippling adrenaline rush out of my system before cleaning my knife on their pants and shoving it away. I didn't turn the body over as I worked their gun out from underneath them and then extracted the radio with a little more difficulty.

Wiping the blood off onto the carpet, I looked it over. It wasn't much more sophisticated than the walkie Malcolm had given me to take up to the mountains. A power and volume dial on the top, and an extendable antenna. Nothing much. I clipped it onto the outside of my pants. It could be useful later if only to hear what they tried to say to this one. I glanced at the body once more, then picked up their gun. Ejecting the magazine, I shoved it into my pocket and dumped the gun in a filing cabinet before walking away, leaving the door from the stairway wide open.

.

.

The first one had been the hardest, but more because of my expectations than because of the deed itself. I'd carried on. I'd slept, and woken, and eaten. Just like before. Like nothing had changed at all. So I thought maybe nothing had.

The next one was easier, and I had felt anything at the next one. I hadn't felt anything in days.

Oddly, being the one to deal out the death had clarified to me Caesar's stance on the bodies I'd returned. There was nothing special in the sacks of meat we left behind. Once we were gone, we were gone. Nothing was left behind of us. It only became important to those who remained. I felt no guilt about leaving the body in the bank. They had probably been ordered there. Let those who had given the orders deal with the consequences.

 _Callous?_ The voice was quiet, quieter than ever, and I had no problem dismissing it as I jogged away from the bank. This was war, and I knew which side I was on. All's fair in war, after all.

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 **A/N:** Please don't hate me. I've had so many comments with variations of liking Jac keeping her humanity, but she was fully in the driver's seat for this. I seriously considered pulling into a different route, but she wasn't having it. So here we are. Sorry.

Please know that I do not condone violence or murder, against anyone for any reason. There is always another option, and there is always someone you can talk to. Please reach out if you have violent urges. Peace out.


	12. Inbound

I'd gone two blocks where the sound of hooves made me pause and look up. Caesar slowed his horse to a trot then finally came to a halt a few feet away. I took an extra step back, keeping a careful distance between myself and the large animal.

I'd open my mouth when a hissing crackle cut me off and all eyes turned to the radio on my hip. Unhooking it, I raise it to my ear, listening.

"Johnson, what's your situation? Over," a crackly voice said.

 _Johnson..._ I dismissed the name instantly, lowering the radio as I turned back to Caesar. Just behind him, Rocket was staring at the radio as if waiting for it to blow up.

"Loner, holed up in a bank," I said, by way of explanation. "He had this. Thought we might hear something useful."

Caesar just watched me for a second.

"Johnson, report," the same voice ordered over the radio. "Damn it, man, what are you playing at, I'm sitting here waiting on your ass! Over."

"Jac," Caesar said, turning his horse closer to me. I watched the animal rather than look at him. "This is not what I—"

"You have things to do," I cut him off. "So do I. Good luck." I walked away, the radio clutched so tightly in my hand I heard something click. I couldn't hear it from him. Couldn't even think it myself.

I was right anyway—Caesar should be on the other side of the city. The soldiers' forays deeper and deeper into our territory had taken them about as far from either base as they could get. So Caesar had decided it was time to hit back. Diversionary tactics.

Once out of sight, my pace slowed, until I was practically dawdling back towards the building where Blue Eyes would still be directing messages all over the city.

The radio clicked several more times and I looked down at it suspiciously as it came back to life.

"Smith to base, over."

"Go ahead, Smith, over."

"Johnson's not responding, over."

"Might just be a problem with his unit. Go see what's holding him up. Don't take too long. Over."

"Roger that. Out."

I hooked the radio back onto my pants as I kept walking, shooting a quick glance over my shoulder back towards the bank. It was out of sight of anyone coming to investigate the soldier's lack of response, so I relaxed a little as I kept walking.

Halfway back the radio started clicking yet again. I paused, but no one said anything. Frowning, I lifted it up, wondering if I'd accidentally turned the volume down. I was still staring at it when a new voice came floating out.

"Identify yourself."

I jumped, looking around suspiciously. Were they watching? I spun to look back towards the bank, the most likely source of observation. Nothing. The streets were empty

"Identify yourself."

I remained silent, staring at the small box in my hand. Such a small thing. Yet so big at the same time. A method of direct communication. My chest tightened at the thought and somehow my finger found the button on the side, pressing it in. The static hiss vanished instantly, leaving me with nothing but silence, an opportunity, and blood on my hands.

I released the button, my hand falling to my side. What the hell was I supposed to say? They knew that whoever had the radio had killed to get it. Was there anything I could say to mitigate those circumstances? I doubted it.

Clipping the radio back onto my pant pocket, ignoring the continued attempts to get a response, I strode forwards again.

It took several minutes for them to give up. Had I missed a chance? I swallowed, but before I could think anymore, it happened.

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.

The roar was loud enough to make me flinch, spinning round to look out towards the sea.

It took another second, the noise growing louder and louder, for it to come into view; a shooting star trailing white clouds.

My mouth opened slightly and I knew a moment of pure, unadulterated fear.

The missile curved over the city, peaking in its flight and descending... towards me. It never even crossed my mind to run. It would pointless. I just stood and watched as the rocket flew... straight over my head.

Shocked, I spun around, watching in silent disbelief as it passed me and I discerned its true target. The mothers. The children.

I began to run but hadn't made it three feet before I saw the flash of light. The sound hit me next, like a physical blast rattling my rib cage. Then the shockwave, a blast of heat, dust, and air pushing me backwards.

I couldn't scream. I could barely breathe. The tiniest whimper escaped me as I watched the tower of green glass sway and fall.

The one tiny part of my brain that remained rational gave me a nudge at that. Green glass... they weren't in a glass building.

The rocket has missed!

I felt the tower crash down, shaking the ground under my feet, but I was running.

.

.

By some miracle, the tower had mostly fallen away from the neighbouring structure that hid the women and children but there was still broken glass and debris littering the pavement and fires burning everywhere. The acrid smell of smoke hit me in one harsh wave, choking me.

Coughing, I pulled my bandana up over my mouth, waving a hand in front of my eyes as I stumbled into the building where the females had been. It was chaos, apes of all ages running in every direction. I could hear cries of pain from within the smoke. A length of steel had smashed through a window and I was sure there were similar situations on higher floors.

Everywhere I looked there was panic, families separated and screaming, many apes trying to get out, to get away from the encroaching rubbles and fires. I pushed my way further inside, getting a clearer view as some of the dust and bodies cleared. Cornelia was in a corner at the back of the building, several other females around her, a group of children behind them. They were okay. I took in a sharp breath, then turned away and dove further into the chaos.

Screams brought me to a chimp trapped under a pile of fallen rubble in a doorway, a younger female trying to lift it off her and failing miserably. Their mingled cries were pitiful to hear and I rushed forwards, adding my arms to hers without any success. Leaving her, I scrabbled around until I came up with a long length of thick metal pipe. I was dragging it back to them when I saw a flash of white fur.

"WINTER!" I screamed as loudly as I could through the smoke clogging my lungs.

He heard me, head whipping around, and came knuckling over, lifting the pipe with ease and following me back to where the female was still struggling. I guided the end of the pipe into place and Winter shoved hard. Seeing what we were doing, the female abandoned her efforts and moved around to comfort the injured chimp. Together, Winter and I added our weight to the end of the pipe and heaved. The rubble shifted an inch, then another, then another. The injured chimp let out another cry of pain, but then the female was dragging her free.

We let the pile drop and I was turning to move away with the cries intensified. The injured chimp was reaching back towards the rubble with desperate hoots. My heart sank. Dropping to my hands and knees, I moved forwards, peering through the gaps in the rubble. I thought I could see movement and when I turned my head, pitiful cries reached my ears.

The younger female joined me but I waved her back. The mother needed tending to, and I was smaller than her, plus I could see better in the darkness. Turning back to Winter, I gestured for him to lift again. He shook his head, eyes wide, but I slapped my hand on the ground and snarled.

Still looking doubtful, he took up his position and heaved. A tiny crack appeared under the rubble and I turned my head sideways, trying to see underneath. The gap wavered then opened up and I scooted forwards. I could now see the young ape, no older than Cornelius, trapped behind a second layer of rubble.

Winter grunted behind me and the beam lifted even further. Stretching out a hand, I managed to hook a finger around the mess of pipes and wires trapping the little one, but I didn't have enough leverage to move it. Taking a deep breath, trying not to think about what would happen if Winter's strength failed, I pressed my face flat to the floor and shoved my way forwards into the darkness.

There was barely room for me to get my shoulders in, but it was enough for me to get a good grip on the pipes, pushing them roughly aside, feeling the panicky grasps of the young one on my hands. I found more room above me and shuffled towards again, kicking with my legs and giving one last wrench with my arm. The last tangle of wires jerked free and I shoved them aside, feeling the young ape clawing its way frantically along my arm. I returned the grip, holding tightly as I extracted my other hand, trying to shove myself backwards.

Someone grabbed my wrist and heaved, pulling me free in one instant, dragging the young ape with me, though my face caught on the rubble as I came free. The little one bounded away towards their mother, clearly no real harm done from their ordeal and I looked up to see that Luca had joined Winter on the lever and Blue Eyes was looking down at me in concern.

I held up a hand and he pulled me easily to my feet.

"Thanks," I coughed, feeling the movement pulling at my cheek. "We need to get everyone outside. Now."

Blue Eyes nodded, moving away to help the female with the mother and child, and I looked around. Most of the building was already empty.

Tripping over my own feet, I made my own way outside, wincing in the sudden sunlight. I touched my cheek, feeling blood on my fingertips.

I made my way over to where Caesar and Cornelia were standing together, reaching them just before Blue Eyes did.

"Are you okay?" I asked Cornelia urgently, eyes searching for any injury on her or Cornelius, who was curled into her chest.

She gave a slightly stiff nod, eyes still wide with fear, as she reached out to touch my arm. I returned the gesture, but a new voice cut across us before I could say anything, issuing from the radio on my leg.

"Have I got your attention now?"

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 **A/N** : dun-dun-dun! ;) Only just remember to publish this! Trying to stick to putting a chapter out every Monday, but will undoubtedly fair. In a bit of a writing slump at the moment anyway, so we'll see what happens. I might quit posting for a while at some point. Hope not, but, as I said, we'll see. Lacking in motivation recently.  
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, let me know your thoughts? It helps. I promise. It helps.


	13. Attention

"Have I got your attention now?"

We stood in a little bubble of silence. Cornelia stared at the device on my leg. Blue Eyes looked from me to his father and back again. I looked straight ahead for a second before meeting Caesar's gaze. His face twitched in what I was sure was the equivalent of raising eyebrows. Then he turned away, giving carrying hoots, signing to the other apes as he chivvied his family away.

I panicked. He was leaving. What was I supposed to say? Was I meant to say anything at all? I was going to mess it up.

Blue Eyes gave me one last quick glance before following his father and I took a deep breath, drawing strength from his sure movement.

I couldn't mess it up. Not now. Not again. It wasn't an option.

I walked in the opposite direction, back towards the destruction, and sat down so close to a piece of burning debris I could feel the heat searing my scraped cheek. It did nothing to dispel the cold inside me.

Pulling the radio off my pant leg, I tossed it between my hands, picturing them waiting at the other end. Shadowy figures around a console, waiting.

I raised the radio to my mouth and pressed the button.

"You have it," I said.

There was a pause that seemed far too long.

"Good."

The word was so drawn out, I wanted to snarl. Instead, I took another breath, watching the apes move off as I waited. If they decided to fire another missile, having missed with the first one, at least the apes wouldn't be in the danger zone if their aim improved. Of course I was right next to the target. I didn't move.

"Who am I speaking to?"

I snorted. "Try again," I suggested.

There was another pause.

"This is Colonel McCullough, of the US Army. Who am I speaking to?"

I nearly dropped the radio. The face of the soldier flashed through my mind, dark hair slick with blood, and the name tag on his chest. McCullough. The odds were astronomical. Surely, _surely_ , there was no way that was a coincidence.

I raised the radio with a shaking hand. "An invested party," I answered him vaguely before pushing on. "Would that be McCullough spelt with an O-U-G-H?"

There was a very long silence, so long that I was the one to break it.

"Quite a coincidence, huh?" I said. "Who was it? Brother? Son? Cousin?"

"That was you," the voice said. It wasn't a question.

"You could say thank you," I challenged.

"It was you on the bridge, too?"

"You talked to Forest," I said. "Clearly didn't pay attention to the rest of the message. Go home, Colonel. Take your men, take your boy, and go back to wherever you sailed down from. Go home, while you still can."

He chuckled. "After I just decimated your forces? I don't think so."

I frowned. Did they not know that they'd missed?

"Do you see what you've done?" I asked.

"I do. I watched. It looked glorious."

I stared down at the handset, baffled. They didn't know. He really didn't know he'd missed. Or rather, he thought he'd hit the target. Apparently, in this case, they weren't the same thing.

"Did you watch Johnson die? Before you took his radio?" the colonel asked.

I went still, a million answers running through my mind.

 _I did. It was bloody._

 _I did. I stuck the knife in him myself._

 _I did. It was glorious._

 _I did. It was anything but glorious._

 _I did. I did. I did._

I stood up. "Last chance, Colonel. Go home."

"Do you speak for the one who calls himself Caesar?"

I hesitated, considering. "Caesar can speak for himself. He's been talking to you ever since you got here. I suggest you start listening."

I spun the dial on the top of the radio, turning it off, and began to run. I had to get to Caesar. There was something working its way through my mind, something big, and I needed to talk it out before it slipped away. Caesar needed to know.

.

.

Hood pulled forwards, blue kerchief smothering my face, I turned back to look at the city that had once been home, a long time ago. The trail of weary and frightened apes extended down over the side of the hill leading up to the bridge, and past them, I thought I could just see the illuminated patch on the horizon of the soldier's camp on the beach.

The apes kept filing past me and I kept staring.

Caesar was down there. And Blue Eyes. They were fighting a war that I was walking away from.

 _Not walking away_ , I reminded myself, watching the injured apes trailing along at the back of the column. _Just trading one fight for another_.

Caesar hadn't been completely convinced by my developing idea that someone had deliberately led the humans to target the building next to the females, but the worry in his eyes had been enough. I couldn't come up with a motive to convince him I was right, but nor was there another explanation to convince him I was wrong.

I'd handed the radio over to him and a weight had lessened in my heart. I'd known all along that I could have gone to him, to discuss what was happening, what was going to happen, but actually doing it made such a difference. And I was leaving behind a place I'd soaked in blood.

Maybe in another ten years I'd feel as guilty over those deaths as I did over the rest of the world, but right now? I almost felt glad that I'd reconciled the two halves of me. I no longer had to deny that I was a murderer. More people had needed to die for that. Maybe it wouldn't take ten years after all. I closed my eyes and turned away.

Yes, I was done with this city. And it was done with me too.

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 **A/N:** In a really good mood tonight, so you're getting this chapter day early :D I hope it made some of you happy too!

I really like this chapter, and actually pleased with the next one as well, after struggling with it for weeks! But hopefully I'm out of that rut now, so might be able to pick up the posting schedule. Will have to see how uni work goes.

Had to do some morally-questionable fiddling to make my amazon copy of the Revelations novella into a Word Doc, so that I could cut out the story arcs I'm not using. It has made for much easier and faster referencing though, so definitely worth it. Also made it clear that I'm closer to the end of it than I'd realised... which means we'll be plunging into the abyss without canon material soon. Scary, but exciting.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, let me know what you thought!


	14. Treachery

A/N: Content warning at the end. Nothing explicit, but have a look if you're worried.

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Jerking awake, I sat bolt upright, eyes darting around the dark forest. Nothing. All still and silent. No looming faces. No bloody hands reaching for me.

Flopping back down, I threw one arm over my face, burrowing the other further under my blanket. My shiver was only half from the cold. The nightmares had surfaced the first night in the forest, the first night after I'd spoken to the Colonel on the radio. The radio I'd taken off the body of a man I'd killed.

A man I'd killed.

I uncovered my eyes, the darkness of my sleeve too much to bear. Rolling onto my side, I pulled my knees up to my chin and stared at the outline of huge tree trunks, black on black in the darkness.

The ground was mossy, soft enough to sink through. It felt like I was lying on thorns.

.

.

Exhaustion eventually pulled me back to sleep, a small hand creeping along my hairline pulled me awake. I jerked back reflexively, forcing my tired eyes to focus on the little face watching me expectantly. With a groan, I pulled the blanket over my head.

Oren was not deterred, simply crawling in with me, letting in a breath of cold air along with his furry body, quickly squirming his way underneath my chin. I threw back the blanket and he let out a shriek as he jumped back, giving me a reproachful look.

" _Time get-up_ ," I signed at him.

He practically bounced up and down, repeating 'get-up' back at me over and over. I laughed and stood up with a stretch, feeling my spine crack. All around us, the apes were getting ready to move on. I hastily bundled up the two blankets I'd taken from the stash in the jeep and shoved them into my backpack. Hoisting it onto my shoulders, I held out a hand to Oren who hooted with excitement and clambered up my leg until he could grab onto my wrist. I lifted him to my shoulder and he hopped easily over to nestle on top of the bag, little hands grasping at my hair as I slipped through the camp to where the injured were slowly moving into place.

Oren's mother, Jasmine, wasn't surprised to see me approaching with her son riding on my shoulder. Though Winter and I had levered the wreckage off her after the missile had struck, she had impressive bruises and a deep laceration. She limped along like the rest of the injured that made up the majority of our band and I matched my pace to hers. She could have carried her son as well, but he had jumped onto my shoulders as I'd been passing on the first day, and seemed to enjoy the viewpoint.

A younger female moved quickly past me, glanced up as she passed. I offered Lake a smile but she was gone too quickly for me to judge if she returned it or not.

We moved off gradually, with many stops and starts as the injured and older apes slowly fell into place at the back of the line. I kept my distance, walking parallel to the troop, always within sight of Jasmine, for her peace of mind about Oren, but not quite part of them. My conscience wouldn't let me. I knew that if I looked up, I would find eyes on me. Judging me. Outsider. Outcast. Out of place. Out of time. Out of options.

Maybe I should have just left when Caesar had offered me the chance. Would that guilt have been any easier to live with? Sometimes I thought it was only my role carrying Oren that kept me from walking in the other direction. Or putting a bullet in my skull. Who was I kidding anyway? With the colonists joining up with the soldiers, my idea of integrating with them as a double agent would never work. And with that plan ruled out, what was left? The apes were out of the city, into terrain they knew. They belonged here. I wasn't a help anymore; I was just another burden.

.

.

The dark thoughts followed me throughout the day, our progress far too slow to demand my attention. When the smell of smoke reached my nostrils, I looked up from distractedly playing with Oren to see a small fire ahead, tended by a couple of gorillas. The other apes were already scattering, helping to settle the wounded, or starting to make woven beds in the tree branches. I stood on the periphery and watched. They didn't need me. They didn't need me at all.

Decision made, I stood taller, turning to look back down towards the city. There was no sign of discontent here. If I was right, and someone had shown the humans where to fire their missile, just close enough to convince Caesar to send the females away, then they didn't seem to have followed them. That meant they were probably still in the city. With Caesar. With Blue Eyes. My stomach clenched.

I strode around the camp, looking for Cornelia. I didn't want to just disappear on them. No need for unnecessary suspicion, especially not now, when I was finally starting to integrate with the apes.

I passed Lake, leading some of the other adolescents down towards the sound of running water, all armed with fishing spears, and not much further on, spotted Cornelia helping make places for the wounded. Before I could approach her, one of the gorillas with rusty red-tinged fur beat me to it. Hesitating, I hung back and watched them signing. Cornelia picked up Munchkin and followed the larger ape away from the camp. I dithered for a couple more seconds, then followed from a distance, hoping to intercept them as they returned.

I wouldn't stay until morning, I decided, but leave at once. I could probably make it halfway back to the city by the time it got truly dark, given the slow pace we'd been setting so far.

I was so lost in my own planning, I almost missed what happened.

One second Cornelia and the red gorilla were paused, signing to each other, the next, Cornelia had pointed past the gorilla, who turned to look, and she was bounding away, scrambling up a tree.

I was frozen, taken aback by the sudden change of dynamic.

"Stop!" the gorilla roared, leaping after her, but she was too quick and already out of reach. I flinched at the loud cry then leapt forwards, scooping up a rock from the ground and flinging it forwards. I was too far away for my aim to be any good, but it still clattered off the right tree and they both looked back. The gorilla let out an angry roar but hesitated for only a moment before continuing his pursuit. Cornelia only glanced around for a second, using the distraction to hurl herself to another tree.

I took off running, trying to keep them in sight though I knew I wouldn't have a hope of keeping up with them. Ahead, the gorilla returned to the ground, knuckling out of sight in seconds as more apes converged on Cornelia in the trees. I recognised one of them, the grey-furred ape who'd been watching me at the council meeting after the soldiers had first attacked the bridge. He wasn't part of the troop who'd come up from the city. He wasn't supposed to be here.

Things started to click into place, but I pushed the puzzle aside, running even faster, though I felt my legs starting to ache. A slight reduction of the dimness to the side made me glance to the right and I saw an open meadow, with a dark shape streaking across it. A smaller bundle of fur was clinging to her back. Cornelia. Munchkin. Her head turned and I knew she'd seen me when her course turned, heading on a slight diagonal. With the difference in our speeds, it might just be a viable intersection course, if only I could keep up... There was no more oxygen to breathe, but my mind threw up facts about anaerobic respiration and my legs kept moving.

Looking back over my shoulder, I could see her pursuers on the other side of the meadow. If I could just get there, and get in position, I might be able to slow them down and give her a chance. I could feel the weight of the gun against my leg as I saw Cornelia leap back up into the trees, lower than the others had been but still far over my head.

Triangulating a rough path, I skidded to a halt and pulled out my gun. My hands were shaking from the exhaustion, my shoulders heaving, but I still managed to raise it, my finger hovering over the safety, waiting for Cornelia to pass me.

I heard the rustling seconds before she burst out of the canopy, lower than I'd expected. She didn't slow at all but hurled something dark towards me. I identified the tangle of limbs just in time.

The gun fell to the floor as I lunged, arms outstretched. By some miracle, I caught him. Cornelius squeaked in either fear or excitement after his short flight. I scrambled backwards, aware of the sounds of pursuit only seconds behind. Hunkering down behind a tree, I held Cornelius close, trying to slow the hammering of my heart. He wriggled, pointing after his fleeing mother.

I shushed him desperately, holding my finger to my lips. He quietened slightly, watching my movement and imitating it. I latched onto the game immediately, moving my finger to point at different parts of my face and he followed along, barely paying any attention to the sound of the other apes as they faded into the distance.

Only when I was sure they were gone did I abandon the game, looking up.

I'd been right, to some extent. There were those who didn't completely follow Caesar. Sneaking up from the city, leaving Caesar to fight off the human pursuit; whatever their intentions were, I doubted they were good. My lip curled. Standing up, shifting Munchkin to my shoulder, I looked around and quickly located my dropped gun. I grimaced as I picked it up. Denny would have as good as killed me if he could have seen me drop it. If he hadn't already killed me outright on sight.

Shaking my head, I tucked it back into the holster. I had to return to the troop, and warn them of the newcomers, and their treachery. Except the gorilla had been with us from the start. I swallowed. They hadn't just come from the city. They'd been here all along. I looked at Munchkin. If it had just been me, I would have gone back, to try and see what was going on from a distance if nothing else, but I wasn't alone anymore. I had Cornelius to think of. I couldn't just take him back there on an impulse.

Suddenly glad that I hadn't taken my pack off when the apes had been making camp, I turned my back on the forest and ran into the gathering darkness.

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CW: Suicidal thoughts.

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A/N: Got very stuck on this chapter, but more or less pleased with how it came out. Moved on a lot faster once I started dropping scientific jargon in, for some reason. Never mind.  
Next chapter is shaping up to be quite long, but hope to get it posted next weekend. Unsure of the schedule after that, as I'll be home for Xmas (yay) which means revising for exams (boo!).  
Thanks for all your continued support!


	15. Yet Another Mess

I awoke several times during the night, but if I dreamed at all, I couldn't remember any of them. I just looked out at the fog pressing against the windows of the abandoned gas station, checked that Cornelius was still asleep snuggled on my stomach, and closed my eyes again. Once I could see the sun starting to tinge the fog orange and pink, I sat and thought while I waited for Munchkin to wake up.

There hadn't been a chance to arrange a rendezvous with Cornelia, and I had no idea if she'd even gotten away.

 _No,_ I told myself firmly. _No more thinking like that. Believe._

Either Cornelia had got away, or she had been captured. So she was either somewhere in the woods, or back with the troop. One of them was much easier to check than the other. Cornelius stirred on my chest and I looked down at his dark eyes, so unlike his father's or brother's.

"Morning, little one," I said. " _Awake?_ " I signed.

He blinked a few times then repeated the sign back at me before closing his eyes again and snuggling back into my sweater. I chuckled to myself, but let him snooze as I returned to my mental planning.

I still had a set of binoculars stashed in the truck. With them I should be able to keep enough distance between me and the troop to try and see if Cornelia was among them and in what capacity as well. If she wasn't there... I rubbed my half-finger over my mouth. The only place I could think of looking was their old home, that Koba had burned down. It was a little obvious perhaps, but it was the only place I could think of. If she wasn't there either, I would try to leave some sort of message, then go back down to the city and see what the situation was like there.

"Come on, Munchkin," I said, supporting Cornelius's mass against my stomach as I stood up. "Things to do."

He grumbled as he crawled up to my chest hanging on my shoulders as I checked my gun and zipped my jacket up around him.

"Not one for mornings, huh?" I chuckled. "I hope you're not going to get worse in a few years."

When I opened the door, I almost wanted to retreat back inside and go back to sleep, shivering slightly as the damp fog clung to my face and hands. Munchkin ducked his head into my shoulder as I strode quickly down to where the truck was waiting.

The old camp was north-west of the gas station, but the troop had been travelling north-east from the end of the bridge. The wind would probably be coming from the west, off the sea, so ideally I'd want to approach the troop from the east for my scouting mission. Realistically though, I wouldn't have time to circle round that far. I would follow behind from the south to find their trail, then hopefully divert a little to the west, if the terrain would permit it. That way I should avoid anyone watching their tracks, but not get completely upwind of them. Combined with a reasonable distance, with a bit of luck that would mean I could avoid detection. Then, if Cornelia wasn't with the troop, I could cut straight west towards the old camp.

Checking Cornelius's grip, I hoisted myself up into the back of the truck, finding the binoculars in a couple of seconds. His dark eyes looked up at me out the top of my jacket as I jumped down.

"It's going to be okay," I said firmly, to myself as much as to him. "We'll find her." It sounded like I believed it and after a second, I realised that I did.

.

.

The afternoon was unseasonably hot, and Munchkin's weight on my back didn't help. He was sulking, having been highly unimpressed with my offer of apple slices for late breakfast. I'd been hard-pressed to keep him close and quiet as I'd stared through the binoculars at the troop making their way further north. The new leader, an ape with grey fur that I recognised as the one who'd watched me so intently at Caesar's council after the soldiers had first arrived, pushed the group at a much faster pace than Cornelia had. I'd seen Lake trying to hurry the adolescents along, and even thought I saw Jasmine and Oren near the back of the pack. However, there was no sign of Cornelia.

So now I was slogging my way west, towards the fading sun, and wondering just how I managed to forget the steepness of the path so quickly. The city was hardly flat, but it felt like it had been right now.

With a groan, I leant back against a tree, panting as I bent over, hands braced on my knees. Cornelius jumped down from my back, picking his way moodily through the undergrowth. All his old energy was gone. He moved as slowly as I did, with none of the tumbling and excitement I was used to.

"Not much longer now," I said encouragingly, even as I shot a look over my shoulder up the hill I still had to climb. "I hope," I added. With a sigh, I watched Cornelius wandering and waiting for the lactic acid burn to dissipate before moving on. It still took several seconds of him being completely still and silent that made me focus.

"Munchkin?" I took a step to the side, enough to see his expression, lips pulled back from his teeth in terror. Lunging forwards, my eyes darting in all direction, I tried desperately to see what had spooked him so. My hand found the grip of my gun before I'd even thought to reach for it. The trees were quiet, leaves rustled only by the humid breeze. There was nothing I could see. I looked down at Cornelius. His eyes were focused on the ground. Crouching down, I followed his gaze.

Blood.

My stomach clenched with sudden cold. Someone had been bleeding here. My hand was clenched on the gun now, as I held my other hand out to Cornelius. He came to me at once, curling into the crook of my elbow rather than climbing over my shoulder.

I turned slowly on the spot, trying to see past the shadows that weren't there. The group of leaves directly ahead might have been brushed aside by someone passing, or by a gust of wind, or they might have just grown that way. The same was true for the branch on the perpendicular path to my left. I could see signs everywhere and had no idea if any of them were genuine.

I looked down at the blood and swallowed.

.

.

Even now, more than a week later, the air still smelled of smoke. Every cautious step crunched on the smouldering remains of the apes' home, releasing flakes of burned wood to float around my ankles. The afternoon sun was low on my back, where I could feel Cornelius's weight between my shoulder blades. He'd been completely silent all afternoon, but I could feel his breaths on the back of my neck. There was more blood on the ground here. I alternated between watching my feet, careful not to step in it, and watching for movement ahead of me.

Despite the severity of the fire, a lot of the structure was still standing. The walls, though blackened, were upright, though I didn't know how stable they were. The pounding of the waterfall grew louder as I crept along the tunnel, waiting for it to come crashing down on my head. Somehow it held until I emerged past the black wreckage, stepping over a fallen log to enter the open plaza. It was empty.

My heart dropped. Striding forwards, I scrambled up the outcrop of rock in the centre, scanning the deserted space in front of me twice.

"Well, fuck," I said.

What now? Hands on my hips, I thought desperately. I had no other places to look for Cornelia. What did that leave? Caesar. He needed to know what had happened up here, before he come up into a potentially hostile situation.

I was about to turn away when my eyes fell on a disturbed pile of ash, scuffed about by many feet. Just behind it, a large streak of blood cutting through the charcoaled crust of a log. Someone had been here. Many someones. Apes? Was I too late? Were they coming back? Casting a quick glance over my shoulder, I jumped down, approaching the disturbed patch.

The prints in the ash were definitely from apes, and something large had been dragged across the floor. I didn't like it. I didn't like it one bit. Standing up, I tensed, ready to leave, but something made me hesitate. What about Cornelia? I hesitated for too long.

The bark from behind me, cutting through the roar of the waterfall, made me whip around, hand diving into my pocket for my gun. It took only a second for my eyes to find the gorilla. I didn't recognise him expect in passing from the past few days travelling with the troop, but his stance, shoulders up and weight forwards, was enough to make me pull out my gun, dropping to one knee as I raised it. It felt very small facing down the huge ape.

He didn't move. My finger found the trigger but held. For a second, we just stared at each other then I saw movement behind him. Four females, including Tinker, Ash's mother, were coming down the tunnel and leading them... Cornelia. My whole body drooped with relief as I saw her, and I was hard pressed to hold back a laugh. Shoving my gun away, I reached over my shoulder, tapping on my back to get Cornelius's attention as she pushed forwards past the gorilla, face worried.

Cornelius poked his head out slowly, reluctant to emerge until he saw who was in front of me. With a shriek of joy that nearly deafened me, he launched himself to the ground, bounding forwards to his mother, who scooped him up with equal joy.

Watching them, I let out a deep breath and smiled.

.

.

"What happened?" I asked, rubbing at the stump of my finger on my left hand. The darkness was closing fast, but I had so many questions I'd been burning to ask ever since the females had arrived.

"Grey," Cornelia said. "Others."

"Grey," I repeated slowly. "Light fur? One of Koba's allies?" There was a few nervous shifts at Koba's name, but Cornelia nodded. I looked away, my jaw set. For how long was it all going to come back to him?

"How does he have them all following him?" I asked, looking at the gorilla this time.

I didn't recognise his first sign, but I knew Caesar's name, and I knew the twisting of both palms.

"He's saying Caesar's dead?" I guessed. The gorilla nodded. "Fuck," I said eloquently. "He didn't come up from the city with us, did he? He stayed behind, to fight?"

The gorilla nodded.

"And who came back with him? Anyone who was close with Caesar? Who couldn't possibly be lying?"

He hesitated, but it said enough.

"He's pushing them," I mused to myself. "Moving faster." I squeezed my finger too tightly, wincing at the sudden stab of pain. "So either he's telling the truth, and trying to keep ahead of the soldiers, or he's lying, and trying to get a head start while Caesar is preoccupied."

The apes exchanged looks, but when one of the other females, Ash's mother, signed, it was too fast for me to follow. I gave her a quizzical look.

"You think... truth?" she asked.

"Honestly... no. There are too many coincidences. None of Caesar's allies survived? They come after you, Cornelia? No way. Something's wrong. And..." I hesitated. "And I think someone showed the soldiers where to fire that missile."

Alarmed expressions pasted between them, flashes of scared snarls from all sides.

"Why?"

"To make Caesar afraid. To make him send you back into the forest, out of harm's way. Out of his sight. Not to kill you, but to separate you."

Cornelia looked sideways at Tinker who looked right back, confused and doubtful.

"They didn't miss," I insisted. "When I spoke to one of them on the radio, he said he was watching. He didn't say they missed. They think they hit the right target, but why would they think that particular building was a target? There was nothing there, nothing special about it except its proximity to you! No one should have been going in there, unless it was to mark it as a place of interest."

The females all looked at the gorilla, who signed rapidly. Protesting innocence?

"Grey wouldn't," Tinker huffed. " _His wife was there,_ " she signed.

"I don't have any proof," I said wearily. "But... one coincidence I could believe. Two, maybe. This many?" I spread my hands helplessly.

More looks exchanged.

" _We sleep, think_ ," Cornelia signed.

The apes all huffed, moving away to the various bits of shelter that the ruined village still offered. I remained, watching their elongated shadows for a few seconds before glancing over my shoulder, out to sea.

Hopping down from the outcrop of rock, I clambered my way through the debris to the edge of the waterfall and then dug out my binoculars. Scanning the water, it didn't take me very long to find their ship, the _Daedalus_. She was sitting much further north than I remembered, covering the bridge again. Had Caesar been pushed so far back already? My hands clenched as I panned left, but the bridge was out of sight, behind the headland.

A soft panting hoot beside me drew my attention back to my surroundings and I lowered the binoculars to look around at Cornelia. Munchkin was clinging to her shoulder, head down in sleepy contentment. She sat down and I followed suit, lowering myself to her level. For a minute we sat in silence, staring out over the water. My eyes kept wandering back to the ship.

"Thank you," Cornelia said.

I looked at her, my expression carefully neutral.

" _Protect son_ ," she signed. "Not trust you, at first, but—"

"Cornelia," I interrupted gently, shaking my head. "Please don't... you don't have to explain. Caesar and I... we have history. I never knew him like Will did, but he knows my past; knows which side I'm on. The rest of you..." I shook my head. "I knew from the start that I could never expect to be accepted. I am different." A wry smile touched my face. "I am not ape."

That statement hung between us for a few seconds before I turned to face her properly.

"Despite that, you trusted me with your son," I continued, my tone deadly serious. "I do not overlook that, nor can I overstate how much it means to me."

"Caesar told me what you did... by the river," she said quietly.

It took a moment for me to remember and I quickly looked away. Cornelius had been playing, investigating Carver's toolbox. Carver had lunged for him as he'd uncovered that he had broken Caesar's rule and brought a gun up to the dam. Blue Eyes had jumped forwards to defend his little brother and Carver had turned the shotgun on him. So I'd turned my gun, the one Caesar had let me keep, on Carver. The first step down a long road. How long ago had that been? Three weeks? Maybe not even that long.

"You are not ape," Cornelia said, pulling me out of the memory. "But you are one of us."

I looked at her, blinked away the moisture from my eyes.

" _And Cornelius likes you_ ," she signed.

I grinned through the fireworks on emotion in my chest.

"I'm not sure he likes me anymore," I said. "I provide highly unsatisfactory lunches."

She laughed and I couldn't help joining in, and it was like the barriers between us melted. I had a moment when I wondered what it would look like to an outsider then realised I didn't care. It didn't matter.

" _Come sleep_ ," Cornelia signed as she stood up again, turning away.

I shook my head and she paused, frowning.

"I can't," I said grimly. "I have to go."

She swung back around to face me.

"There's something going on down there," I said, gesturing back towards the city. "I have to go back."

"And do what?" she asked.

I went still, the words somehow hitting me harder than if she'd signed them.

"I can't just..." I began, but I quickly trailed off. She was right. What would I do down there if they were in trouble?

"Trust Caesar," she said. "They are many." She glanced behind her. "We are few."

I still hesitated for a second before nodding. "What are you going to do?" I asked.

She looked at me as if it was obvious. "Go back."

My eyebrows rose so fast it hurt. "Tell me you're joking."

.

.

A/N: I didn't expect this chapter to get so long... I blame Cornelia and Jac. And my bff, who voted for a long chapter now with the possibility of the next one being short. Though there's a strong chance that it will also run away with me, so we'll see ;)  
Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!  
We watched War at film club this week, and there's one line that sent my planning mind into overdrive. They probably thought it was explained in Revelations (the events at about this point in the fic), but it's actually not. So I'm hoping to bring that to fruition later. I'm also considering going full scale 100% canon divergent from War... thoughts?


	16. Traitors

The next morning I was the first one awake and the last one to move. Lying cocooned in my sleeping bag, I watched Cornelia and Tinker curled close together, watching Tinker's arms move as she signed. Rolling my head away, I stared up at the glimpses of the sky above me. Part of me still baulked at my inactivity, screaming for me to race down the mountain in search of Blue Eyes and Caesar. Cornelia had been right though; what would I have done? If they were okay, I would have left Cornelia and Munchkin in the midst of a coup. If they weren't okay... how much difference could I make? One more fighter against an army. I had nothing new to offer them. I didn't have to like my decision though.

Once Cornelia had risen and padded away, I took one last long breath before following suit. Tinker's eyes tracked me over Cornelius's head as she watched me roll up my sleeping bag, squashing it into my stomach to remove any traces of air before stuffing it into my bag, which I left shoved securely between two charred logs. I avoided looking at the pair of them as I checked my pistol, knife and binoculars then hurried after Cornelia. I caught up with her just as Oak and one of the other females intersected her path.

They exchanged several signs that were beyond my vocabulary then Oak dropped his gun carelessly to the ground aside.

Apparently satisfied, Cornelia walked past them both, heading out into the forest. The other pair of apes followed quickly but I hesitated. Before I could over-think it, I scooped the gun up, cradling its weight in my arms before following the trio.

.

.

Through the binoculars, I watched Cornelia approaching Winter, Oak and the other female flanking her. I was close enough to see them without the enhancement, but they made everything clearer. In painful detail, I saw Winter levelling his gun at them despite the darting of his eyes and the shuffling of his feet. After he'd let them pass, albeit through inaction rather than allowance, I watched his despair and guilt with pity and pride. He thought he'd failed, but I knew he'd made the right choice. Once he'd abandoned his post, no doubt to report to whoever had convinced him he should have been there in the first place, I made my move quickly.

Jogging down the incline, I glanced around from Winter's previous post. I could just make out the flashes of movement ahead where the rest of the apes were milling around. Off to the north-east, the trees became thinner as a new generation of forest grew, slowly taking back old human habitation. I pressed forward, keeping my chin up in a show of confidence that I didn't feel. There were startled expressions from all sides as I entered the camp, but as I'd hoped, my determined entrance so soon after Cornelia's return went unchallenged. A large knot of apes was gathered on the side of the camp, Oak prowling the edge. He met my gaze then looked away. I maintained my course, although my stomach was twisting with doubt. It was only seconds later that I saw him.

Grey was sat hunched beside a tree, watching the group that Oak was patrolling. Now certain Cornelia was part of the group, I diverted, circling around to approach Grey from the side. He looked up when I was still several paces away, eyes darting over the gun held loosely in my hands.

I didn't stop as I ejected the clip and put both parts down beside another tree before moving closer and crouching down several feet away.

I let him look at me first, surveying the camp and watchful apes before meeting his gaze.

"Grey."

He jerked slightly hearing his name from my mouth, then picked up his own gun and levelled it at me without hesitation.

My jaw clenched but I didn't swallow. I showed no outward sign of fear.

"What's that going to solve?" I asked.

Grey's hard eyes didn't change.

Another tactic then.

"I was with Koba when he died. Do you think any of this," I flashed my eyes around us, "is what he would have wanted?"

Grey's hand tightened on the weapon. He didn't lower it, but it was still a reaction.

"Koba was angry," I pressed on. "He hated humans. But he loved Caesar. If it hadn't been for us, he never would have turned against him."

"You are human," Grey snarled.

I looked away for a moment.

"Yes," I said eventually. "I am. But if it had been like this from the start... an external attacker—"

Grey's eyes wandered and I knew I was losing him. I backtracked quickly.

"If it had been you against them from the start, Koba never would have turned against Caesar. He would never have gone behind Caesar's back. You know that."

Grey looked away properly now, and I let myself take a breath. I hadn't got that from Koba, but from Caesar's reaction to his betrayal and ultimate death.

"Koba gone," Grey said, and I looked up to find him watching me again.

"Koba's dead," I corrected him. "Dead is not gone."

 _Hypocrite_ , my little voice muttered. I ignored it. Time, place, and necessity.

"He wouldn't like what you've done."

Grey's gun lowered a little. There was doubt in him. Not much, but a little. Enough to play on?

"Did you show the soldiers where to fire the missile?" I asked. "Next to the women and children."

He refused to look at me. It was as good as an admission. My jaw clenched.

"And Caesar?" I asked. "He's still fighting?"

Grey still looked away, watching the group of females. My heart clenched but an impact on my side made me gasp, falling to sit on the ground.

A little face peered up at me over two hands gripping my shirt.

"Oren," I breathed, unable to stop myself smiling slightly. The young ape crawled all over me in his excitement. I looked back up at Grey. His gun was pointing at the ground, eyes back on the females.

"Grey," I said. "Was Caesar still fighting when you left?"

He glanced at me, then nodded. My outburst of air was almost a laugh. I closed my eyes with the relief and opened them again to find Grey still watching me with a closed expression.

I tilted my head as Oren slid down into my lap. "What?"

Before he could answer, a gorilla came knuckling up. I recognised his rusted red fur immediately; he was the one who had first led Cornelia away from the main troop the day before yesterday.

" _Cornelia_..." he signed to Grey, but his eyes were on me.

Grey took over, touching his hand to his cheek in what I assumed was a sign of assent or knowledge. He continued quickly and I picked out Cornelia's name, and Rain's, as well as gestures towards the huddle of women.

I looked at the group with new understanding. Rain was one of the females who'd been travelling with us out of the city and was very heavily pregnant.

The red-furred gorilla snorted angrily then made a sign with both hands, drawing them in towards his chest as he clenched them into fists.

" _Get her now,_ " he finished, with a gesture to the women, and another sign I recognised.

To my surprise, Grey shook his head emphatically as he signed a response.

I recognised ' _break_ ' in the dance of his hands, but nothing else.

The gorilla growled again, pulling his rifle off his shoulder.

"Then I will break custom," he said aloud.

My eyebrows rose in shock at his vocalisation as much as at the statement. His eyes fell on me again and the gun twitched. My throat closed up but then he was turning away, dismissing me. He probably thought I was being dealt with by Grey. I glanced sideways, wondering if he was right, but when the gorilla lumbered away, straight towards the females, I couldn't tell which of Grey and I stood up first.

The gorilla shoved his way through the knot of women until only his back was visible to us. All eyes were on him as Grey and I hovered a little way back, my hand slipping out of sight to grip my handgun. Oren jumped down, scampering away quickly.

The gorilla was not subtle, his demanding words carrying back to me, but it wasn't until Cornelia totally ignored his second order to accompany him that he cocked his gun. I whipped mine out instantly, but before either of us could raise them, Oak stepped in front of him, quickly joined by one of the other gorillas, a female, the rest of the women quick to follow suit.

"Move, all of you!" the gorilla bellowed, though he'd back up a step. "I will shoot you!"

One of the chimps pushed her way forwards. I recognised the diadem on her forehead, having seen it previously on Cornelia's brow.

"Tell them to move, Cedar," the gorilla said. "You are queen now."

I glanced sideways. That meant Grey was her mate. He was tense, ready to move, but holding back, letting her handle the situation.

"I am," she said aloud for all to hear, chin jutting out. "And I... tell you, Red... move back."

Red barely even hesitated, one huge arm lashing out, the back of his hand catching Cedar fully across the face.

Everything happened very quickly.

Cedar staggered back with a cry of pain. The other women split, some catching her, others stepping towards Red, who raised his gun.

Grey was a blur of motion, covering the ground in one huge leap, the butt of his gun coming up to impact hard on the back of Red's head.

Red sprawled sideways, his gun flying from his hands as he rolled away.

My gun was out and ready, but I was stunned by the sudden reversal of the tableau, unsure of who to aim at, unwilling to overstep my bounds.

Red came up on all fours and looked up at Grey who stood over him with just as much presence as Caesar would have had.

"I was stupid... to listen to you," Grey said, his words steady. "Go."

" _You stupid,_ " Red signed back, coming up to his feet. " _True._ " He lowered his head and charged.

.

.

Grey was fast, somehow swinging around to end up on Red's back in a move I missed as I backed away. Both arms wrapped around the gorilla's massive neck, feet braced against his back, Grey heaved. My breath caught in my throat, and for a moment it seemed it was over having barely begun. Then Red swung around and slammed Grey against a tree. It still seemed like the chimp's grip would hold until Red repeated the move, successfully dislodging him.

Turning quickly, Red raised both huge fists, pounding down with enough force to shake the ground, leaving two impacts where Grey would have been had he not rolled away. The two apes spiralled around each other, both more cautious now.

"What can you gain?" Red panted. "Caesar never forgive you. You betray him twice. Our only hope is to work together."

Grey shook his head. "It's over. They will do nothing for us now, Red. We've lost."

"No!" the gorilla roared and he leapt.

Whether the volume of his shout was intended as a distraction, or simply an overflow of emotion, the result was the same. Grey hesitated.

I was sure it was too late when he actually ducked forwards, into the attack. Feet braced on the ground, his shoulders connected with Red's bulk, sending him off course to land heavily on his side.

In seconds, Grey was back on him, renewing his chokehold. The apes surrounding the air, though all watching, were uncharacteristically silent as Red scrabbled, trying to regain his feet and throw Grey off again. It was a tense minute, with not one of us making a single sound until the gorilla slumped.

Grey held on for a few more seconds before climbing off him, leaning against a tree.

He looked around and raised his hands to sign. I recognised Cornelia's name, as well as Oak's, and a gesture towards the other loyal gorillas. Then his eyes found me.

"Caesar..." he said, breathless. "We saw... soldiers... this side of bridge... on road... Got past them... but they building... wall."

I stared at him without comprehension for a long second. Soldiers? On the north end of the bridge? But how could they have got there? Caesar wouldn't have let them get past him, and there was no other way... I blinked. There was another way. If they'd gone all the way around the bay, through Oakland and Richmond, then across to San Rafael... It was a long way, and a lot of roads, but last time the colony had investigated it had been clear, though that had been many years ago. It was still potentially possible though.

I looked back at Grey with wide eyes. The other apes would be cut off, pinned from both sides. I turned away, my breaths shallow and quick as the trees spun around me.

"Grey?"

I barely glanced around at the unexpected sound, staring uncomprehendingly at the scene until it was too late. Grey was still half turned away when Red pulled the trigger and the chatter of bullets made us all flinch. The previously silent apes let out cries as Grey staggered, sliding down the tree. I raised my gun and fired.

The first of my bullets hit Red in the shoulder, but he barely seemed to notice, shrugging off the wound as he rounded on me. The gun chattered again, but by some miracle, I didn't freeze, Denny's endless drilling finally coming into its own. Shifting my sights, I fired again and again, even as I dove sideways, scrambling behind a tree and listening to the gunfire fade away. Ducking out, I emptied the rest of my clip with the same limited effect. Red raised his rifle, though blood was running down his arm and pulled the trigger.

I flinched even as I heard the click. He was out of ammunition. For a second, we just stared at each other, both empty guns lowering.

The roar shocked us both, coming from the left. I looked around as Cedar cut off her shriek before Oak, leaping forwards and covering the distance to Red in two huge jumps. The majority of the rest of the group followed suit and the gorilla disappeared under a wave of attackers. Fists and arms were flying everywhere and screams of anger filled the air.

Circling around the melee from a safe distance, I ejected the clip from my gun and inserted my only spare, my hands tense as I chambered a bullet.

With all the noise and movement, it seemed like a long time before Red broke free from the pile, knuckling quickly away. His attackers skittered after him, throwing anything they could get their hands on. Dancing sideways to keep them out of the firing line, I raised my gun and squeezed off several more shots, sure that I saw another spray of blood from Red's retreating back before he was blocked from view by the trees.

Panting, I lowered the gun, suddenly hating the feel of it in my fingers. Was that what I'd been reduced to? Just another human with a trigger-happy finger? I looked around, trying to escape the idea, and my eyes fell on the angry apes. No, it wasn't just me. This was all on Red, and him alone. My gaze was drawn to a twitching figure and my stomach lurched. Not just Red.

Grey was still slumped against the tree, blood all over his chest. His limbs were jerking sporadically but his face was slumped and vacant.

Cedar was hovering over him, hooting pitifully, and a few other females were looking on quietly. Standing looking down on them, my heart suddenly dropped, remembering his last revelation. Soldiers north of the bridge.

I swallowed. I needed to leave. Right now. I was about to turn away when Cedar's keening made me pause. Looking down at Grey's broken, twitching body, I was unable to muster any of the hate and anger I felt towards Red.

Crouching down, I reached out a hand towards Cedar who turned tortured eyes to me before I could touch her.

" _Help_ ", she signed. It was one of the first signs Blue Eyes had taught me, made with a fist resting on top of a flat palm, then raising both hands together.

I shook my head sadly. There were three bullet wounds on Grey's chest, leaking a combination of blood and a clear fluid, and a graze on the side of his head from Red's attack.

"I'm sorry," I said. "He's gone."

Cedar shook her head, holding her hand over Grey's chest and clenching it repeatedly.

I drew back, still shaking my head but she was too quick, grabbing my wrist and dragging my hand forwards to press on Grey's chest. His blood was sticky under my fingers, and below that, a slow throbbing.

I looked at his face again, and somehow his eyes moved to meet mine.

Jerking my hand back, I swallowed and looked at his wounds again but it was just confirming what I already knew.

"I'm sorry," I repeated. "There's nothing we can do."

Grey's eyes held mine and I knew I spoke a lie. My throat was oddly tight.

I took a breath. "You can't save him. He's in pain," I said.

Cedar dropped my wrist instantly, as though scalded. She looked away but didn't object as I withdrew my hand and checked my grip on my gun, though the level of her keening increased. Taking her hand, I guided it to Grey's. She didn't squeeze, or grip him, as I'd expected her to, but stroked the fur of his arm with infinite tenderness. I paused, watching the movement. This was truth. Regardless of his actions and how she felt about them, the care in that final gesture of comfort was undeniable.

Grey was staring past us both now, his eyes glazed over as I angled the barrel of the gun up under his chin.

.

.

The gunshot was still ringing in my ears as I strode determinately away from the troop, breaking into a jog as I headed down the hill. I'd offered a hurried explanation to Lake, with a plea for her to pass it along to Cornelia at a better time, but that was the only concession I'd made before leaving. There were soldiers north of the bridge, behind Caesar, but I was behind them.

Thudding behind me made me glance back, though I didn't slow my pace, and I blinked to see Oak approaching quickly, several others with him, all armed to the teeth with guns and long spears. I offered them a nod that Oak returned and we continued on in grim silence, hoping that we weren't too late.

.

.

 **A/N:** Merry Christmas all! I hope you've had a great holiday season, here's something to round it off. I don't know why I was worried this chapter would be too short XD The end ran away with me a little, but it was long already, and this was a better stopping point. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, please let me know!

I'm slightly later than I intended in posting this, partly because I dipped my toe into the Star Wars fandom (flopped spectacularly) and partly because I got a new laptop for Christmas yesterday! So it's been a lot of setting up, installing things, and transferring files. So I didn't want to write anything much for fear of having different versions on different hard drives, But I'm pretty much set up here, so greetings from the new boy! He's been great so far, and I look forward to getting to know him. It was a good long run with my old one, but she has a few too many quirks, so it was time to move on.

Happy holidays once again, and with the high probability that I won't post again before New Year, best of wishes for 2018!


	17. Risky Visions

Staring through the binoculars, my jaw clenched as I scanned the row of trucks and jeeps, two with mounted guns set up atop them, both chattering away, the rest providing cover for soldiers. After the early start, getting to the main part of the troop and the ensuing confrontations hadn't taken all that long at all. Down here by the bridge, the fog was only just starting to lift and it had let us get much closer than I'd expected to the back of the soldiers' line, though with no way to cross to the bridge, we were stuck on the ridge, a little way behind them.

I hadn't wanted to approach directly behind the soldiers anyway, with Caesar's apes firing on them from the other side.

Oak and I exchanged a glance, and I pointed out the mounted guns on either edge of the bridge. They had to be our priority targets – they were shredding the apes. The occasional thunders of the guns from the ship were keeping them from advancing underneath the bridge either. The apes around me quickly began to descend a little to get into a better position, and I dropped the binoculars to swing around my neck as I followed. There was no time to lose with the other apes taking such heavy fire.

Under our feet was the occasional scuff from a boot, evidence that the soldiers had checked for anyone sneaking up behind them at one point, but with the full-on assault, it was all hands on the front line. The gap between the bridge and the side of the hill kept them from taking the cover we were using. They had no idea we were there.

We didn't waste any more time. One of the chimps threw his spear perfectly, taking out one of the men by the big guns and embedding the sharp end in the gun itself, which fell silent at once.

The soldiers cried out with shock and anger, several turning to fire blindly onto the ridge, but the trees kept them confused for a few moments. More of them fell before they pinpointed our position, and the apes on the bridge took the opportunity to rally.

I lowered my borrowed rifle, ducking back behind a tree as bullets scattered around me.

When I next glanced out, my attention was immediately drawn to a soldier who was facing the wrong way. His back was to the bridge, braced against a truck as he held his hand up to the side of his face. He looked familiar.

Abandoning my part of the fight, I fumbled with my binoculars, raising them to my eyes with sweaty hands.

His face was more animated now, full of wild exhilaration, anger, and hope. Full of life, unlike the last time I'd seen it. I still recognised him instantly; the one I'd saved alongside Forest after the first ambush in the city.

John McCullough.

He was alive. He'd survived and his father had sent him around to the north end of the bridge to cut the apes off.

Sudden anger burnt through me, a blazing fire destroying everything else. It was more than just anger. It was fury.

He stopped speaking as I watched, brow furrowing under his short dark hair. A second later, he was talking again, gesticulating with one angry arm, but he was quickly cut off. His face was frustrated for a moment then wiped blank with careful control. For a single moment, his eyes drifted up to the trees and, though his gaze hovered just too far to the side, it was like he looked straight at me.

The moment was over as soon as it had begun, but it had lasted an eternity. John was suddenly on his feet, no longer firing, but shouting to the other soldiers, waving his arms and, when some of them objected, pointing out to sea.

Instinctively, I dropped the binoculars, turning to look the other way, but the ridge blocked my view. With one final glance to confirm that the soldiers were in full retreat, I sprinted across the incline, past the other apes, moving diagonally until I skidded to a halt at the top of the cliff, where I could see out across the bay.

Framed by the sparkling water was the hazy and misshapen outline of the Daedalus.

Oblivious to the fleeing soldiers, and the apes surging forwards after them, I squinted, raising my binoculars in an attempt to make out the scene. It looked like there was another ship, a much smaller one, which had crashed into the Daedalus's hull. There was smoke billowing from both decks, drifting gradually towards our position at the north end of the bridge.

Confused, I lowered the binoculars. Another boat. Where could it have come from, and why? Whose side was it on? It looked as if they'd rammed the soldiers, so did that mean whoever had crewed it was on the apes' side? Where could they have come from though? How would they have known what was happening?

A faint shout made me look round and though I couldn't hear him properly after the hailstorm of gunfire, I spotted Caesar immediately, his horse spinning on the spot as he gave orders, waving the apes forward and urging them further up the bridge to where they could cross over to join us on the ridge, under the cover of the trees. Beyond them, I could see the dust from the soldiers' trucks accelerating along the highway. A couple of trucks had been left behind, abandoned at the end of the bridge almost exactly in line with my current position.

I looked from the apes, to the retreating soldiers, to the ships.

They were probably right. The soldiers would have the most information and they were leaving. The apes were following suit and leaving. I tensed, ready to race back up the hill with them, but my eyes remained on the abandoned trucks and I hesitated.

Had I hidden my boss's secret, helped create a virus that had wiped out most of the population, sided with the apes in a war where I didn't belong, crept up to enemy lines with a truck full of bodies, and challenged their commanding officer over a radio channel, just to start taking the safer option now?

Bounding down the hill after Oak and his troops, I watched them following Caesar further north. Dodging past the injured stragglers, I jumped down onto the bridge and set off at a fast jog back towards the trucks.

One of them was the one from the far right, with the disabled gun on the top. There were boxes of ammunition at its base but a single glance showed me that it was far beyond my ability to salvage. Still, the soldiers might be able to fix it. Maybe I'd have a chance to break it a bit more before they advanced to this end of the bridge. Glancing past the truck towards the other end of the bridge, still concealed by the stubborn fog, I doubted it. They could emerge at any second.

With that in mind, I yanked open the door and dove inside, pushing scraps of paper aside, looking for anything that might be useful, any tiny hint as to what the next stage of their plan might be.

I found nothing.

Nothing and nothing. Less than nothing.

The keys were still in the ignition, but that was the most interesting thing I found. With another nervous glance through the windscreen, I climbed out of the truck, pushing the door almost closed. I glanced out to sea again, where the twisted mess of the Daedalus and the other boat were starting to burn properly with tongues of flames tall enough for me to see without needing to use the binoculars. The smoke was continuing to drift towards me.

I looked back down the highway, which was now devoid of any life, human or ape, then looked across at the second truck. As long as I was quick...

"Hey."

The weak call made me swing around, my hand going to my gun. For a second, I wished I hadn't left the heavy rifle, with its larger supply of ammunition, back at the end of the bridge. It would have slowed me down with its weight, but when I heard the voice, I regretted the sacrifice.

It took me several long seconds to locate the voice's origin; a female soldier lying on her side, blood soaking her jacket and her blonde hair escaping from its severe bun.

"I wouldn't bother," she continued, her voice rasping. "You won't find anything in there."

I hesitated. She wasn't armed and, looking closer, I could see blood on her leg as well, so she wouldn't be moving anywhere quickly any time soon. Glancing over my shoulder, I considered the truck, standing tantalisingly empty on the road.

"Seriously, do you think we would have left anything useful in there?" the soldier called out.

I turned back to look at her. She swallowed and her eyes darted past me. With a smile, I turned away, jogging towards the source of her anxiety.

"No!" she cried out and cursed in pain.

There was a scraping sound as she tried to drag herself across the road, but she quickly desisted, collapsing onto her side and panting with pain as I glanced back.

I flung the truck door open triumphantly and began sifting through the contents. The glove box, under the seats, above the visors, I checked everywhere but found nothing. I scoured the entire vehicle twice before switching to a different tactic.

Slamming the door in my frustration, I stalked back across to the woman, who was leaning against the other truck's wheel, staring silently out to sea, watching the smoke that was most of the way to the bridge now.

"Where is it?" I snapped, an errant breeze pushing my hair back from my face as I swung around, back to the ocean as I glared down at her.

She didn't even look up at me but did flinch when I crouched down.

"Where. Is. It?" I growled.

"I don't know!" she said suddenly, cringed backwards until a coughing spasm took her over, blood bubbling from between her lips.

I watched, taken aback by her sudden change from unresponsive to fearful.

"I don't know," she moaned again, as the coughing subsided, turning her head to the side.

Swallowing, I reached forward and grabbed the top of her thigh, where the red stain was darkest. She gasped instantly, head jerking around, hands batting weakly at me. I tightened my grip.

"Where?!" I half-shouted.

"I don't know!" she shrieked, hair flying around her face now as she whipped her head back and forth. "I didn't see where they put it!"

I relaxed my grip fractionally. "It?"

"I don't know, I don't know!" she whimpered.

"What was it? Papers, a weapon, what?"

She hesitated again, but this time her face was different... very different in fact. I sat back, releasing her, feeling her sticky blood on my fingers as I considered her expression, which was now hovering between reserved and worried. As if she'd missed a step going down the stairs... or a planned response in a charade.

For a second we stared at each other, then her face went smooth and her gaze shifted back to the approaching smoke. I shook my head slowly.

"There's nothing in there, is there?" I asked.

She didn't respond.

"A double bluff?"

Her chin rose slightly. Pride?

I snorted. "I hope you played poker, with that face."

"Occasionally," she said. All trace of the fake fear had gone from her voice.

"Why?" I asked, shaking my head. "What was the point? Your troops pulled out, the apes are gone. There's no one else coming. What was the point of stalling me?"

 _Why had the troops pulled back in the first place? Why was she watching the smoke so intently? What had that second boat been doing?_

The questions continued internally, a never-ending stream of them. So many different questions... or were they? Were they many different questions... or were they all part of one?

I turned, looking from the empty highway to the smoke.

The soldiers had run, despite the fact that they'd been winning. They had gestured out to sea. This soldier had tried to keep me here and was watching the smoke.

"What was the second boat doing?" I asked.

Her expression didn't change for several seconds. Poker face.

Eventually, she looked at me, and she smiled. It was not a nice expression.

"You really should have run, while you still had the chance," she said.

I turned. The smoke was close now. The changing winds were wafting it around, diffusing the plume across the hill, but there was still enough to see its progress. I could smell it now, a sharp scent burning in my nose and at the back of my throat.

I considered the empty road again. The soldiers had run from the smoke. They had seen that it was coming in this direction, and they had run from it. Or had they run from something else? Something that would move with the smoke?

I went cold. It wasn't possible. Surely it wasn't possible.

I took another breath of the smoky air, feeling the burn in my throat intensify. I looked once more at the soldier, who'd closed her eyes.

I ran, knowing I wouldn't be fast enough.

.

.

Moisture ran down my face, but whether it was from tears, or something more sinister, I couldn't tell.

Every breath was painful, my nose was on fire, my throat scratchy and thin as a straw. My lung capacity seemed to have quartered.

The forest swam before my eyes, sliding in and out of focus as the trees seemed to tilt. I'd followed the highway until my feet were aching from pounding on the concrete, hoping that the hills to the side would stop the smoke, and whatever else was being carried on the wind. I could see the taller patches of established forest by the time I left the road, and I couldn't understand how I'd travelled so far so easily this morning. Every step now was a torturous effort, every breath a wheeze through reluctant airways.

I'd slowed to a stumbling walk when I heard a faint trickling noise. Instinctively, I staggered towards the sound of water, falling to my knees when I found the stream. I didn't even bother to take a breath before I plunged my face straight down into the water.

It wasn't pleasant. I forced myself to blink many times, and to snort water up through my nose before coming up for air, coughing violently to expel it. I drank next, as much as I could, not caring how clean it was. I drank and kept drinking until I threw it all up, my nose and throat burning even worse after that. After rinsing my eyes again, and drinking a little more, I staggered back to my feet.

My face was itchy, but I didn't let myself touch it, clenching my fists at my sides instead, winding my fingers into my shirt hem. It was only at that point that I realised I'd left the rifle back on the bridge, where the apes had crossed into the trees. I hoped they'd gotten away alright, but there was only one way to find out, so I kept putting one foot in front of the other. They'd had a good head start on me. Most of them should have got through. My stomach twisted as I suddenly had a terrible thought; I hadn't seen Blue Eyes with them.

The very notion was enough to galvanise me into a jog, but my feet betrayed me and I tripped. I threw out a hand towards a tree, but missed completely and sprawled on the ground. Something was very wrong. There was a darkness creeping up on me from the left. Slowly and carefully, I climbed back to my feet, taking twice as much care as I continued on.

I didn't reach the apes by the time dusk fell, and I knew I couldn't continue in my compromised state. Shaking, I sank to the ground, unable to even contemplate trying to find shelter. I'd left all my things with Tinker and Cornelius, in the apes' old camp. For a second, I contemplated aiming further west, to try and retrieve them, but I instantly dismissed the idea. It was even further than where I'd left Cornelia, if I estimated our positions correctly, and I was beginning to doubt that I would even make it that far now. A blanket wouldn't save me. I had to get to the apes.

.

.

The next morning brought mixed news. I was still alive and still breathing. My nose still hurt like hell, but my throat felt a little better. My vision was... better than I had any right to hope for. I was burning through my life's supply of good luck worryingly fast. Soon there would only be bad luck left.

Pushing aside that harrowing thought, I stood up, putting my hand out. The tree I'd been aiming for was several inches further away than I'd been expected. Swallowing down my fear, I stumbled forwards. Caesar, Cornelia, Cornelius, _Blue_... their faces pulled me on.

By the time the sun was high in the sky, my legs were trembling, but I could recognise the buildings in the next valley. The camp where Grey had died was just up ahead... so close...

I fell twice more before I heard them but when I tried to call out, I could only get out a croak before coughing wracked me.

I passed four more trees before they saw me. It felt like a marathon.

The barks and calls of the apes were music and I'd never been gladder to hear it. Many hands gripped me, practically carrying me on. I was grateful for their support; I wasn't sure if I would have made it any further on my own.

In a dream, I moved forwards, only partially under my own steam, until a familiar voice rose above the other.

"Jac!"

I looked up, having to turn my head more than I was used to, and saw Caesar bounding towards me, looking grim but relieved. It was too much. My knees buckled and I fell to the ground, reaching one hand out to him. Our fingers touched and I let my head fall forwards as tears spilled from my eyes. They stung.

"Jac," he repeated, crouching down as he came closer. "What happened?"

I could hear the other apes backing off, but two blurry shapes moved closer and I looked up. Cornelia, holding her younger son, and Blue Eyes. My sobs intensified as I held my other hand out to them. Blue snuck in under it, stroking my shoulder as I gripped his desperately, and Cornelia touched my chin. I gave a watery smile as I turned my head to look at all of them.

Caesar let out a concerned rumble from his chest. He reached out, turning my face up and away from him, peering at the left side of my face.

My right eye tried to follow him, but couldn't see past the dark ridge of my nose. A finger touched my cheek, and I flinched. I'd never had something touch my face before and not been able to see it coming.

"Your eye... all red," Caesar said, turning my face back so he could see both, comparing the two.

The other apes were silent as I sniffed and swallowed, trying to control my crying enough to form a sentence. It took a while, and when the words came, they were very quiet.

"I can't see," I said weakly, looking at Caesar through my right eye, trying to focus past the black haze that was all I could make out on my left side.

.

.

A/N: Just to leave you guys on the biggest cliff-hanger possible ;) You have Scarlett to thank for that ;)  
I have exams starting in 2 weeks, and have barely started revising yet, so I'm planning to take a break from writing to knuckle under. So you probably won't hear from me again until the end of January. If the muse bites, I'll run with it rather than risk making Jac angry again, but I probably won't post instantly.  
So, I wish you all a very happy New Year! Wish me luck, and keep those reviews coming!


	18. The Next Stage

I was walking with the children when it happened. Cornelius and some of the older ones were scampering around underfoot and Oren was clinging firmly to his mother's back only a foot away, as were many others. It fell to me to fill the silence, and I didn't mind the duty. Now my throat was recovered, it no longer hurt for me to talk, and although the apes had many stories and tales to tell, few of them were comfortable enough talking to be able to speak on the move. Maurice hovered at the edge of our group, supposedly to chivvy along any youngsters who fell too far behind, but I knew he was listening hard, as he would often quiz me later about the things I said.

Although I hoped the younger ones would be listening, that the exposure to the sound of my words would help them form their own one day, mostly I talked for the adults. I'd started off talking randomly, but as their confidence grew, their questions were endless. Today, Lake had asked me why the moon changed shape.

That seemed to be the basis for all their questions; why?

Of course, I ended up on a tangent and was trying to convince them that the earth went around the sun, not the other way around, when I felt a wetness under my nose.

Recognising the feeling, I raised a hand to my upper lip, dabbing at the moisture. My fingers came away bloody. I swore angrily, making all the apes look up, then shook my head, apologising. Tilting my head back, I pinched my nose as hard as I could, ignoring the increase in pain. I had to squint down to see where I was going as I struggled to keep walking. Some of the apes slowed as if expecting me to stop, but I kept walking doggedly on until someone touched my left shoulder.

I jumped, hand dropping from my nose as I swung around. My startled eyes found Blue, who seemed equally taken aback by my reaction. Looking away from him, I pinched my nose again, wondering if I would ever get used to not being able to see someone approaching me from my left side.

First the finger on my left hand, now my left eye. I'd broken a toe on my left foot when I was younger. Maybe my left side was just unlucky.

"I'm okay," I said thickly, still with one hand clamped over my nose.

"Worried about you," Blue Eyes said.

I lowered my head to look at him and smiled. "Thanks, Blue. But I'm okay. Really. It could have been worse."

It could have been so much worse.

I was almost completely certain that one of the boats had been carrying gas. There was nothing else I could think of that would have had such an effect. And worse, the soldiers had known. He had known. As soon as the ships had collided, and it became clear that the wind was carrying the smoke, and more potent component, towards the north end of the bridge, the soldiers stationed there had fled. Either it had been on the Daedalus, in which case the soldiers had had it all the time, or it had been on the new boat. I didn't want to believe that they had intended to use it—there was a reason the use of chemical weapons had been banned—but at the same time, why would they have had it if they didn't plan on unleashing it at some point?

"Still worry," Blue continued, oblivious to my drifting thoughts.

"At least I'm not puking anymore," I said with false cheeriness.

Or coughing your lungs out, a little voice added.

It was true. Despite the continued nosebleeds and the fact that I couldn't see anything more than dark fuzzy shadows out of my left eye, I was undeniably getting better. I knew what that meant, I just wasn't sure I was ready to do it yet.

.

.

I helped the apes make camp that evening, having to grope around a bit before I could reach what I was aiming for. I missed having 3D vision. As the apes began to settle, I stood at the edge of the camp, looked straight up, and closed my right eye.

Darkness descended, a grey haze that obscured everything. I couldn't even distinguish between the canopy and the patches of dark blue sky.

With a sigh, I reopened my right eye, blinking as I looked around. Caesar and his family were sitting with Maurice, Rocket, Tinker and Luca. Not too big of a group. I still hesitated for another second before drifting closer. Blue Eyes noticed my approach.

Holding his gaze, I raised my hands in front of me, pointing at him, then making an encompassing circle, trying to indicate the group, then made the sign for 'busy' as he'd taught me, waving one hand, palm facing out, just behind and above the other hand. I ended the query with a tilt of my head and a puzzled expression.

Blue Eyes shook his head, and I took a deep breath, moving over. Caesar, following his son's gaze, looked up as I approached.

"Can I butt in?" I asked.

He gave a huffing laugh; it was the phrase I'd always used to interrupt him and Will.

When he nodded, I crouched down, looking directly at him, and trying to ignore all the other eyes on me. It was made easier by the fact that I could only see the ones to my right.

"It's time," I said bluntly. "They'll come into the forest soon or later, and if I'm not there, and well-established before they get there, it will be really suspicious."

There were several exchanged glances. Clearly, Caesar hadn't shared my plan with everyone after I'd told him the very rough outline of my idea before going with the females into the woods. I very carefully didn't look at any of them, especially Blue.

"More to discuss," Caesar said. "Stay a while longer."

I shook my head. "No, there's not. What needs to be said can be said tonight. You guys can't keep moving on like this forever. You need to find a permanent place and..." I took a breath. "I can't know where it is."

Caesar held my gaze in a way that was so human I wanted to look away, but I did not. I held his gaze.

"You know why," I said, my voice low but fervent.

He looked away. Yes, he knew why I couldn't know where they would be, though he didn't like the implication. I wasn't fond of it either but the risk was too high not to take the precaution.

'Risk equals hazard times exposure,' some part of me supplied; a throwback to long days in the lab.

I almost smiled. The exposure was going to be insanely high for this. I was just minimising the hazard.

"Not yet."

The voice from my left was unexpected and I looked at Blue before I could stop myself. He was watching me with worry, but no confusion. He knew what I was planning.

Raising a finger to tap at his own eye, he shook his head. "Dangerous. Not safe."

I stared at him for a moment, struck by the image of another ape, a scar extending above and below his cloudy left eye...

"Other people have done far more with far worse," I insisted steadily.

He still didn't look happy but didn't object again.

I looked back at Caesar.

"You're sure... about this?" he asked.

I lowered my gaze to the floor between us, considering.

When I raised my eyes again, it was with certainty. "Yes."

.

.

A/N: Hey guys, my last exam is in 2 hours, so obviously I edited this chapter for you rather than revising. I have 2 more ready to go, and half a week mostly free to write more, so I'm hoping to put out lots of updates soon. I hate being ahead of readers, and very excited for stuff coming up, so stay tuned!  
Some reviews would be a nice thing to come out of an exam to. Just saying. Or even if you're reading this is a weeks time. Or a month or a year.  
I'd like to give a special thanks to ZabuzasGirl, alexicia the light of destiny and Scarlett Barnes for their review on the last chapter and wishing me luck with my exams. The former two have works in this fandom, so go check them out, and everything Scarlett writes is golden, so go read all of it!


	19. A New Place

The quiet was unnerving. After spending more than a week with the full troop of apes, and even longer before that with the females in the woods, I was used to their constant noise. Even in the city, when stealth was paramount, there had always been a certain level of noise. They were naturally a vocal species, just like humans were.

Alone in the woods, the distant twitter of birds wasn't enough to break the almost oppressive silence. I started humming subconsciously to myself, overly sensitive to the quiet. It felt like I'd lost the use of my ears, as well as one eye.

At least it wouldn't be quiet all the time. Smiling grimly to myself, I dropped my head, pushing on my thighs as I crested the ridge and hoped it was the last one. True enough, only a few metres down the other side, my feet found the flat hard surface of the road.

Hands on my hips, I looked back and forth, considering. I knew the gas station was somewhere along this road, but which way it was compared to my current location escaped me. I'd always approached from the south before. Taking a chance, I guessed I was further from the coast and turned right. Hopefully, the gas station and, more importantly, its speaker system, was about halfway between where Route 580 snaked around the bay, and where Route 1 turned to go north up the coast.

It soon transpired that I was wrong, either about its location or about where I'd intersected the road. Hands on my hips, I looked out through the trees at the waves rolling up a short stretch of beach and sighed. Through so many twists of the road I'd expected the gas station to be just around the next corner, or the next, or the next. Apparently, I'd been wrong.

 _Time to turn around_ , I told myself with another sigh.

It wasn't the distance so much that bothered me, but I'd descended a fair way down until I got a good enough glimpse of the ocean to be sure I'd come the wrong way. It would be a long climb back up, even if the incline wasn't particularly significant.

 _It's not getting any shorter_ , a voice pointed out.

Unable to deny the truth of that statement, I shook my head, turned around, and started walking again.

.

.

The best part of retracing my steps was that I kept a closer eye on the stream that ran along the south side of Route 1, and pinpoint its source. It was barely more than a trickle of water but would be easier to purify than trying to desalinate seawater. And apparently, a shorter walk to collect it, a very short walk in fact.

I was looking over my shoulder, trying to fix the image in my mind so I could find the stream from this direction and when I turned around, there it was.

The gas station was much as I remembered it, though it was odd to see it in daylight. The large ball emblazoned with the 76 logo was still turning slowly and my smile widened to the point of being painful.

It still had power. When I'd been here with Cornelius, the lights had all be off, and I'd expected to have to work hard to try and get it running again. This was a good start.

I ran the rest of the way, probably not a good idea without any depth perception, but I couldn't help myself. Dropping my bag, which I'd been pleasantly surprised to find Tinker had brought down from the ape's old camp, I strode inside.

On all my earlier visits, I'd been passing through, with no time to fully explore. Now, I let myself take a bit more time to go through the place. The shelves were empty of all food, water and first aid, which wasn't unexpected, but there were various miscellaneous items that might come in useful; microfiber polishing cloths, different size rubber hosing for screen wash, buckets, air fresheners, media cables, electrical adaptors, sports team memorabilia and a large selection of CDs.

These I poured over for far too long. Some artists I'd heard of, others were foreign to me, but I knew they would all become familiar before long. Leaving them in their cases for the time being, I glanced over the speaker equipment, its casing long since smashed, and was surprised to find different output options, including a portable speaker. Power might be an issue for that, but it was an interesting find nonetheless.

I moved on with my search.

One of the refrigerators along the back wall seemed to be working, emitting a low humming along with a flickering light. The rest were silent and warm, but heavy obstacles that I might still be able to use somehow.

I pulled on a 49ers cap for the fun of it before heading into the back office. Inside I found a black floor safe that no one else seemed to have had the patience or will to break open, two desktop computers, black and silent, surrounded by dirty mugs, the occasional glass and bowl. Scrap paper littered the rest of the work surface.

A set of drawers beneath yielded a jumble of stationary, dusty sticky notes, a makeup bag, lots of notebooks, a single packet of nuts, two batteries, half a roll of duct tape, and a pair of scissors.

I went very still, staring down at the orange handles and silver blades.

 _It's just part of the plan_ , I reminded myself. I'd expected to have to do it with my knife. Stalling, I turned away, leaving the drawer open as I mooched around the rest of the small office. There was a little employee's bathroom, but when I turned the taps hopefully, there was only the most pitiful dribble of dirty water before it ran dry. Wandering back through the main store, I went into the public bathroom. The water situation was exactly the same, but the mirror over the far sink was intact. With some trepidation, I edged closer. The glass was dusty and grimy, but I cleared a patch with the heel of my hand and stared at my reflection.

My eye wasn't white, as I'd pictured it, and with the reflection it appeared to be on the right side of my face, dispelling some of the similarity. That didn't stop me thinking of Koba as I examined the streaks of blood across the white of my eye, and the brilliant red irritation around it.

 _Lucky_ , my voice reminded me. _That could have happened to both of them._

 _Lucky_ , I repeated sourly. Jaw clenched, I strode back through the store, tossing the cap aside. Snatching up the scissors, I returned to the mirror and stared myself down.

I'd had long hair since I was a teenager. I'd never done more than trim it, even in the last ten years when I'd pulled it all up into a ponytail and hacked the end off by myself. That wouldn't be enough now. Even with a bandana to cover most of my face, there was no hiding my height, or the length of my hair. Besides slouching as much as possible, there wasn't much I could do to disguise the former. The latter... well, I'd known I'd have to do this. I'd had two weeks to prepare myself.

Grabbing a chunk of hair beside my face, I raised the scissors to just below my ear and cut.

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A/N: Credit to Scarlett Barnes for discussing the contents of the gas station and office with me.  
In other news, I keep forgetting to share the fact that I found Jac's soundtrack. It's a song called "I'm Not Your Hero", by Tegan and Sara. Even if you don't like the song itself, the lyrics are Jac through and through, especially in this arc. So go find it and have a listen if you fancy :)


	20. Development

In the end, I'd had to go a bit shorter than I'd intended to get my hair anywhere close to even, and I hadn't anticipated how easily it would swing forward into my eyes. On the plus side, it dried really fast, however it tended to do so in a haphazard sort of way. Before, the weight of it had ensured it dried more or less straight. Now it was permanently all over the place.

For all the annoyances, I found I didn't mind all that much. I'd toyed with the idea of cutting my hair short several times, but never had the courage to do so. Not once had I imagined doing it under these circumstances, yet it was oddly liberating and helped with the new persona I was carefully constructing, along with my camp.

Together with the equipment I'd scavenged from the city and stashed in my jeep and the variety of things in the gas station, I was beginning to make serious progress.

Both the buckets in the store had, on closer inspection, been broken, with wide cracks running along their bases. I'd duct-taped them up from the outside and set them aside for gathering. Luckily I'd bought a couple from the city, mainly because I'd used them to carry smaller items out to the truck, but I was glad I had now.

I'd pierced a hole in the side of one of them, as close to the bottom as I could, and stuck some of the rubber tubing through the opening, using more tape to seal the join tightly. After dedicating almost an entire day to experimenting with pieces of every sort of material I could get my hands on, I settled on an old cotton t-shirt as the most effective and efficient filter for dirty water.

It wasn't the most precise work I'd ever done, as I added more dirt to the water to try and get a better spread of results, and was very rough in the amounts I used, but for that one day, I almost felt like a proper scientist again.

Results collected, I tore the t-shirt into pieces, folded them over, and taped them securely over the opening and exit of the tube I'd stuck to the bucket. As the evening closed in, I'd finally collected a half-full bucket of water from my astoundingly close stream, stuck the metal pan I'd saved from the city specifically for this purpose under the end of the hose, and left it to do its job.

All the while, the music played. The speakers were surprisingly effective and I'd found I could only have the volume turned up to halfway before it became uncomfortable to listen to for any length of time. Unfortunately, I wasn't playing it for myself. I cranked it up a little more and gritted my teeth for half a morning before my eyes fell on the various scraps of cloth I was experimenting with. Within minutes I'd fashioned myself some rough earplugs from microfiber dusters and turned the volume up to full. Even with the dampening, I could still hear every word of the music and I had no qualms about singing along to the few songs I knew, slowly learning the lyrics to those I was less familiar with.

The music dispelled the silence, but couldn't chase away my solitude. Often I found myself looking around for someone to make a comment to, or just staring off into the distance, wondering what the apes were doing and if they were close enough to hear the music. I'd warned them to stay away whenever it was playing, as it wasn't them I was trying to draw in, but I liked to think that they might hear the occasional strand of sound and know I was out here.

All in all, it was a day of melancholy.

Sitting in the gathering gloom, metal pan full of water slowly coming to the boil over a crackling fire, I looked around and planned. I had a few tools and packets of seeds I'd swiped from the Gardens, I could make a start on a small plot to grow them. One of the gems I'd stumbled across in the library was a growing guide for the California climate. I'd never been much of a horticulturist, and the seed 'packets' we used were merely old envelopes with plant names scribbled on the front, so instruction on that front. I didn't have enough time or supplies to learn planting seasons myself, but with the guide's help, I should be able to make some progress, as long as the weather was good to me. In the meantime, I'd have to forage, a skill Cornelia had been attempting to teach me for the past week. It hadn't gone particularly well, but I had some specimens she'd gathered to compare with my own findings. Hopefully, I'd be able to avoid poisoning myself, anything above that would be counted as a bonus.

A sudden splash and sizzling noise brought my attention back to the present and I found my pot of water was boiling merrily away, splashing over the sides of the pan. Cursing, I reached forwards then realised I didn't have anything with which to pick up the hot pan. With a sigh, I got up and headed into the gas station to look for something I could adapt to the job. I had the feeling that it was something I would do many more times.

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Hands on my hips, I stood at the top of the valley, looking down over Tamalpais Valley through a gap in the trees, panting from exertion. I'd run from the gas station to the point where the road started to descend towards the coast, then all the way back, past my camp and climbing slightly up to the top of the ridge. My breaths were slightly wheezy, but I decided I could blame that on the residual effects of the gas, rather than the fact that I hadn't run for the sake of it for over a decade.

Life in the colony had been busy; always things to do and few of them easy, but the fitness level required for the work wasn't particularly high. If I was going to be able to keep up with the soldiers, I had work to do. I didn't even think about the apes. I doubted I would ever be able to keep up with them.

Frowning, I considered the houses below me. The colony had never come this far out to scavenge—the encounter with the apes might have come sooner if we had— except for very early on, and only for food supplies. There might be things down there I could use; I had an extreme shortage of buckets at the moment.

Initially, I'd hoped to clean large quantities of water and stockpile it, to save having to keep boiling it and waiting for it to cool before each use. I'd envisaged spending maybe one out of every three or four days filtering, boiling, and storing water for later use. The problem was, I didn't have the capacity to store it. One of my buckets was being used in my rudimentary filtration system, I used the other to collect water from the stream. If I used something smaller to gather, it would take me forever, traipsing back and forth. It wasn't like I had an endless supply of smaller vessels either.

Looking down at the houses, I eyed up the many garages and wondered how many of them would have at least one bucket. Maybe an exploratory mission would be necessary. Not today though.

Stretching my arms above my head, I began a steady walk back towards the gas station. I had to dig over the veg-patch again and add some more... fertilizer. I wrinkled my nose. That was not my favourite job so far.

From the guide, I thought peas and cabbage were my best shots at this time of year. I could germinate them inside and then plant them out later, when they were less delicate, providing I could find something I could plant them in. The guide also listed artichoke and garlic as crops that could be planted in winter, but I didn't have any of those.

I would have to check how long it was likely to take peas and cabbage to get to a harvesting stage, but I expected it was going to be a long winter of foraging. At least I had the supplies from the caches in the city to fall back on.

Lengthening my stride, I continued my walk back towards home. I had a plan of action. Time to execute it.


	21. Ghosts and Visitors

Days dragged by into a week. I found myself falling into a routine. The music would blast out on alternate mornings and evenings, giving a longer period for the soldiers to hear it, but also a longer timeframe for my other visitors to come by. Most of the time, however, I was alone. I kept busy; there was always something that needed to be done around the gas station, weeding to be done outside, water to collect and clean, houses to search. The valley had been surprisingly lucrative, yielding up a whole stack of buckets as well as some more gardening tools from one house. I didn't even know what some of them were meant to be used for, but they were lined up along the outside of the gas station, a camouflage of sorts.

For all my keeping busy and telling myself that I didn't mind the solitude, it was having some undeniable, unexpected, and unwelcome, effects.

My ghosts were haunting me. One in particular.

For a while, the music had helped. Even when it wasn't playing, I would hum snippets back to myself, singing random words in various, mostly poor, levels of tune. But after a while, that would fade, and I would fill the silence by talking. I managed to convince myself that I was talking to myself, or to the empty forest in general, until the first time I used his name.

My imagination never managed to fill in Koba's responses to my musings, but I could picture his expression easily enough.

All in all, I was very glad when Blue Eyes came to visit.

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It was the morning of the eight full day that I'd been at the gas station when I heard a noise on the ridge to the north. I was on full alert at once, coming slowly to my feet as I peered through the trees. Only when he moved again did I pick him out of the undergrowth, and my face broke into a wide smile as I jogged around to newly planted vegetable plot to meet him.

"Hello," I signed.

He hesitated, looking around suspiciously, eyes darting back to my short hair. "Danger?" he signed back.

I grinned and shook my head.

"Practising," I said aloud. I pointed at him and mimed speaking, then pointed to myself and waved my fingers around, throwing in a few random signs as well. Now, good, help. My mood darkened slightly as I remembered Cedar teaching me that one, over Grey's dying body.

Blue Eyes, oblivious to my sudden preoccupation, gave a panting laugh and nodded.

"It won't last," I said warningly, smiling again at his amusement, which instantly set him off into more laughter.

"No," he agreed, still panting a little. "How you? Your eye? Your hair."

I shrugged but struggled to keep the smile on my face. "No better," I signed, then shrugged again. "No—" I frowned. "no-better?"

He panted in more amusement, then raised both hands in front of him with the thumb, first finger, and middle finger all perpendicular, like he was going to demonstrate Fleming's left-hand rule and right-hand rule simultaneously. With his thumbs pointing back towards him, the back of his hands visible, he crossed his two hands over deliberately.

"Worse," he said.

I nodded eagerly, repeating the sign.

"No better no worse," I signed.

He didn't look pleased.

"Family?" I changed the topic quickly. "Father, mother, brother?"

"Okay," Blue said. "Busy. Father always busy. Moving family. Many still injured. Cornelius misses you."

I laughed. "I didn't think like me again after being stuck with me for a whole day."

"He young."

We both laughed again at that.

"He is young," I said. "Or he's young."

"Hiss young," Blue Eyes said, and I grinned. "He is young," he compromised.

I nodded as he wandered around the gas station.

"You been busy too," he observed.

"Yep," I grimaced. "Got to fill the time somehow."

"No sight of soldiers?"

I shook my head. "No. I've been down into the valley a few times, and to the coast, but I haven't seen anything. Have you?"

He shook his head.

"What about Red?"

Blue's lips pulled back as he hissed angrily.

"No," he growled. "No sign. No body. Some others left afterwards. Father thinks they ran, rather than face him."

"Caesar angry scary," I signed as I sat on the lip of the door.

He joined me with a snort, sitting on my right side and looking at my face long enough to make me recoil slightly.

"What?" I asked suspiciously.

He reached out and touched my left cheek.

I scowled and turned my face away. "Can we not? It could have been worse. A lot worse. And it's in the past now anyway. Nothing either of us can do about it."

Blue Eyes sighed through his nose and pressed his shoulder against mine. I returned the pressure and we sat in silence for a little while.

"When will you come back?" he asked suddenly.

I hesitated. "I don't know," I admitted. "That depends on how long the soldiers take to move up here, and then if they take the bait, and then how long I can keep up the pretence. Hence the hair."

Blue Eyes hummed, poking at my exposed neck and ear.

"Anyone from the colony who came back and survived is probably still with them," I continued, trying not to squirm under his ticklish fingers. "So there's a chance they might send one of them up here to check that I'm not lying. Hopefully the haircut with throw them off for a while. Between that and my finger, descriptions won't sound like me, so maybe they won't send someone right away."

Of course, if they did work out what I was doing, and for whom, it wouldn't be a case of simply getting back to the apes, but of trying to get away before they killed me. I didn't say that to Blue Eyes.

He didn't seem reassured, shifting nervously despite my omission.

"Dangerous," he muttered.

I sighed but was unable to muster the energy to argue with him further.

"How's Jasmine? And Oren? And Lake?" I asked instead.

"Better," he said. "Leg heal good. Lake always watching me"

"Well," I corrected him. "Healed well. And what do you mean Lake is always watching you?"

He shrugged, not meeting my gaze. "They miss you too," Blue Eyes said.

I groaned. "Blue, please don't."

"Come back. This not worth it."

"I think it is," I said bluntly, turning to look straight at him. "I think it will be worth it."

We stared at each other for a second, both defiant, but he was the one to look away, turning his whole body as he presented his shoulder to me.

I rolled my eyes at the moodiness of the movement and ran my fingers through his fur. He didn't say anything, but his head hung a little lower as I groomed his arm.

"Be careful," he said eventually, after a long silence.

I stilled my hands, waiting until he turned back towards me.

"I promise," I said seriously, then grinned. "How do I sign that?"

He raised his index finger to his lips, then moved it away, flattening it until his palm came into contact with the top of his other hand, formed into a fist.

I copied the sign. Finger to my lips, spreading to a flat hand on top of my other fist. Promise. I smiled at him and he returned the expression with slight trepidation. His hands came up and covered mine, squeezing my 'promise' tightly.

.

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The days grew slowly shorter with no sign of any activity from the soldiers. My cabbages germinated like they'd been waiting for me, and the peas with only mild reluctance, but I knew it would be a long time before they were harvestable. Scavenging remained my main source of food, but after I told Blue Eyes that I'd seen an elk herd just to the north, he surprised me with a whole haunch of meat. His visits were unpredictable, which was for the best, and never overly frequent. A couple of times he was accompanied, once by Rocket, Ash's father, who prowled around my little camp while Blue Eyes and I had fun trying and failing to hang a washing line made of string. The other time it was a chimp that I didn't recognise, who stayed for only a few moments before travelling on further south. Blue told me he was scouting and we both sobered for a moment.

For a while, I continued in that stasis, cultivating my garden, playing the music, checking the water to make sure it wasn't souring, foraging from the forest. I made a couple more trips down into the valley for supplies, and scavenged a proper washing line, though it was shorter than I would have liked, and Blue Eyes kept coming to visit me.

Then things changed. I got a visitor of a different kind to my usual one. A whole different species in fact. My species.


	22. Archer

A/N: Sorry for the delay in putting this chapter up on ff.n. The site wouldn't let me upload anything, so apologies on that. I also upload onto AO3 (username is 'Lmere') so you can always follow me there instead.

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I had been to collect more water for boiling and was carrying the half-full bucket against my chest, both arms wrapped around it. The weather was definitely starting to turn colder, and though I knew it wouldn't get properly cold for a long time, I was looking forward to sitting by the fire. So absorbed was I in my planning of the day ahead, that I didn't notice the newcomer at once. In fact, I was several paces past the gas pumps when I looked up and registered what I was seeing.

The bucket fell to the ground, water flying everywhere.

She was standing beside my vegetable plot, a bow—an honest to god bow and arrow—drawn and pointed right at me. Her face was thrown into shadow by a tangle of blonde hair that was almost at short at mine, and twice as messy.

I didn't go for my gun.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked, trying to sound stunned and put out at the same time.

Inside, I was reeling. I hadn't expected someone to just show up from nowhere, especially not someone like this. She certainly didn't look like a soldier. Her clothing was mismatched and torn, her feet were bare, and her arms were so thin I was surprised she could keep the bow drawn.

"I would ask you the same thing," she said.

I crossed my arms, shifting my weight over one hip, and slouching at the same time, decreasing my height by a good inch. It couldn't hurt to be too careful. Despite her ragged appearance, there was still a chance she was with the soldiers.

"Since you're standing in the middle of _my_ camp, I think I've got more reason to ask than you do," I pointed out.

She was silent for a second, the arm that was holding her bow string taught trembling ever so slightly. Slowly, she released the tension, letting the arrow head droop towards the ground.

"So?" I prompted.

"So," she repeated back.

I scowled, stooping to pick up my bucket and striding past the spreading puddle to dump it with the others. She tensed at my movement, but didn't do anything.

"What are you doing here? Where did you come from? Where did you get that?" I asked, nodding my head to her bow at the last question. It wasn't some flimsy homemade thing, but a huge professional bow, like the sort I'd only ever seen in the windows of hunting shops, and in archery competitions on the television.

"It's mine," she said, too quickly, hands clenching on it.

I raised an eyebrow.

"It is!" she insisted.

Shrugging, I leant against the wall of the gas station.

"So... archer, what are you doing here?"

"What are _you_ doing here?" she shot back.

I spread my hands, indicating the gas station, fire pit, and sprouting vegetables. "Living," I said.

Her eyes darted to the plants then back to me. "Just passing through. Been going to all the major cities. Just come from Reno, was heading to San Francisco when I heard music. Thought I'd come check it out."

My eyes narrowed. I hadn't played music since yesterday morning. If she was telling the truth, that was the latest possible time she could have found me, and Blue Eyes had visited yesterday afternoon... What had she seen?

Her face gave nothing away.

I shrugged again, trying to seem unconcerned. "Well, good luck to you. There used to be a colony down there, pretty sure it's all gone to shit though. There was a huge explosion a while ago, and then a couple of boats collided in the bay a week after."

"How do you know that?"

"Saw it. Was down on the headland, saw the aftermath."

"Well, guess I'll go see what's left," she said defiantly.

"Be my guest," I said.

She didn't move.

"What about all the other places you've been?" I asked, when it became clear she wasn't about to leave. "You say you've been visiting major cities? There must have been people left in them. The virus doesn't kill everyone. Why are you still moving? Looking for something in particular?"

"Yeah, there have been people," she said slowly, ignoring the last question. "Occasionally half-way decent ones. Never lasts though."

"And what? You just keep moving? How are you still alive?"

"I scavenge from houses. People there don't need it anymore."

"And what about the places where there aren't houses?" I challenged her. "There's got to be a lot of open desert around Reno. You don't even have a bag to carry supplies. You're lying."

She stiffened, fingers tightening on her bow again. I put one hand on my hip, closer to the gun at the small of my back.

"I have a bag," she said shortly. "It's back there." She jerked her head behind her. "I get by."

Eyeing her thin frame, I wasn't sure how much truth there was in that.

"Do you hunt with that thing?" I asked, nodding at her bow again.

"Not very often," she said. "No point going after anything big, I wouldn't be able to use enough of it. Someone once told me that there were plenty of stray dogs around. I said I hoped the dogs ate him."

I smirked slightly. "You had a dog?"

She nodded, messy hair bouncing. "An Alsatian. Had her from a puppy."

"So... what? You don't hunt at all?"

"I get the occasional rabbit, if things get really bad," she muttered, looking down at her bare feet. "Not if I can avoid it though."

"You must be a pretty decent shot to get a rabbit," I noted.

"Only about one in three times," she admitted.

"Who taught you?"

"My father," she said tersely, firmly closing the subject.

I considered her for a moment, making several guesses and calculations in my head, then I walked forwards, watching her back away, mirroring my movement, half drawing the bow again.

Crouching down beside my vegetable plot, I ranked my hands thought the soil, pulling out a weed and several stones.

"So why do you carry it around if you don't hunt? Doesn't it attract attention?"

She hesitated, clearly taken aback by my change in position.

"Sometimes," she said cautiously. "Good at making people think twice about things though."

"Guess it's hard to attack with an arrow in your leg, huh?"

Watching from the corner of my eye, I saw her flinch. Doesn't like hunting, doesn't like the idea of hurting people... was she a pacifist?

 _Too gentle for this world_ , some scaling part of me remarked.

 _She's survived this long_ , I countered. _Can't do that without some grit._

"How did you end up out here? And what's with the music?" she asked, oblivious to my internal conversation.

"Lived in San Francisco most of my life, apart from some camping trips. My dad was a real out-doorsy kind of person," I said, spouting the lies I'd been weaving together in my mind ever since I'd begun to plan my ambush here. "He loved taking me and my sister out when we were younger. We both hated it. No showers." I grinned, shaking my head. "Coming in real handy now though.

"Anyway, I was in the city when everything... fell apart, and I stayed down there for a while. Things started to go sour pretty fast though. People... changed. I guess the end of the world brings out the best in some and the worst in others, huh? It wasn't for me. So I came out here. Found this place, seemed like a good a starting point as any. Been surviving ever since."

"And the music?"

I shrugged. "It gets too quiet sometimes. Got to drown out the voices somehow," I grinned at the dirt I was still raking through. "Plus it lets people know there's someone here." I glanced up at her, bow now hanging beside her thigh. "Meant to stop surprises."

She gave half a grin in reply.

"So, archer," I said, standing up and brushing my hands off on my trousers, "are you moving on, or sticking around?"

She stared at me, wide-eyed.

"Gets lonely up here," I said with a shrug. "You're welcome to hang around for a few days."

She glanced away from me, up to the slope to the north of the gas station. "Yeah, okay."

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A/N: Next chapter is also up, longer note at the end.


	23. Welcome to California

A/N: Please note I posted two chapters simultaneously, so make sure you've read 22 (Archer), before reading this one.

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The remainder of the day was an odd experience for me. I was doing exactly the same things I'd done for the past week, but now there was someone else there. Archer, as I continued to call her both in my head and vocally, having not pushed about her real name, helped me refill the dropped bucket with water from the stream, and carried another one back to the gas station.

She was impressed with my filtration set up, and so I told her about how I'd been a process chemist before, a lie that was just close enough to the truth to be convincing.

In return, she told me about some of the other communities she'd been through. The more she spoke, the closer I got to believing her. I _wanted_ to believe her, but that wasn't enough for me to drop my guard. The whole time, I was slightly on edge, my eyes darting to the trees, looking for soldiers, rather than apes coming to visit, though I silently stressed about that as well. The last thing I wanted was for Blue Eyes to come down the ridge.

In an attempt to prevent such a visit, I turned the speaker system on again in the afternoon, though much quieter than I'd had it before, so we could still hear each other talk. I let Archer pick through the CD collection, and we worked our way through 4 albums of The Killers. Somehow, she remembered the words to several of the songs, and had no qualms about singing along, with more volume than tune. I laughed more than I had in years and joined in towards the end of some of them, with equal lack of skill.

.

.

I had been planning on another trip down into the valley, to try and find a longer washing line, but didn't want to risk her questions about why I hadn't already sorted it in the many years I'd supposedly been here. Nor was I willing to leave her alone to snoop, so instead of going on a run along the length of the road, I ran shuttles between trees, and went through a couple of self-defence moves, feeling her eyes on me all the while.

"I used to run," she commented as I walked in slow circles, working the burn from my muscles. "I was going to do a half-marathon a month after everything happened."

Looking at her, I didn't think she'd been able to run half a mile now. I'd been skipping meals for years now, and she made me look on the large side.

"What happened to your finger?"

I hesitated in my circling, looking down at the digit in question. Having caught her glancing at it several times, I wasn't surprised at the question, but I hadn't expected it right at this moment.

"It got shot," I said.

"You're shitting me."

I grinned. "Nope. It was right when everything was happening. I was..." I let the grin slide off my face as I came to a halt facing her. "I'd gone to try and find my sister. I knew she was in hospital, Saint Francis Memorial, and everyone was saying to stay away, and keep indoor and everything but... she was my sister, y'know. I hadn't heard from our mom in a month, which wasn't a big surprise, and our dad and step-mom had moved out of the city... So of course I went down there."

I swallowed, and gave a self-deprecating smile. "Stupid, I know, but who's not stupid when it comes to family? So I got there, and there was... fire, _everywhere_. People were still throwing burning bottles."

Archer's eyes were wide as my teeth ground audibly together.

"I just stood there. Couldn't do anything. Then the police and National Guard were swarming the place, and suddenly there were guns going off everywhere. And... yeah."

I raised my hand, wiggling all that remained of my little finger.

"You don't even know who it was?" she asked in soft horror.

"It doesn't really matters," I said harshly. "It wouldn't have happened if those _arseholes_ had torched the place. It was a _hospital,_ for Christ sake. What sort of people..." I shook my head, looking away. I could still remember the bright flames, and the black paint of the two Greek letters.

"And your sister?" Archer asked, pulling me out of the real memory, back to the fabricated story.

"The building was burnt out," I said flatly. "No one survived."

Turning away, I walked in another large circle, more to cool my emotions than my muscles. I wished I hadn't based so much of my story in half-truths.

I still wondered what had happened to my sister. Ellie thought the immunity to 113 was genetic, so there was a chance...

 _Don't_ , I told myself flatly. _She was 100 miles away. Lots of people died from things other than the virus. Even if she lived, you'll never see each other again._

 _But maybe I should have gone looking._

"And..."

I looked up at Archer's hesitant word, raising an eyebrow.

"Your eye?" she said, sounding almost embarrassed.

I blinked, looking left until I was seeing nothing by haze. It was shocking how quickly I'd gotten used to the limitation. Was the darkness a little lighter than it had been before? The haze a little clearer? Shaking away the wishful thinking, I turned my attention back to her question as I sat down.

"Remember I told you about how I saw two boats colliding, a few weeks ago?"

She nodded.

"There was a huge cloud of smoke, came drifting right towards the headland I was on. I was watching for a while, but there wasn't a whole lot to see after that, so I started heading back. Not soon enough apparently.

"I could smell the smoke, but there was something _else_ as well... like I had a drop of acid on the back of my throat. Next thing I know, my eyes are running and... Long story short, I spent a week puking, I still get nosebleeds, and I'm one eye down."

She was staring at me. "Yeesh. I mean... I've inhaled smoke before. It didn't do that."

"No," I agreed grimly, raising my eyebrows significantly. "Quite some smoke, huh?"

There was a minute of silence when we sat a few feet apart.

"You think it wasn't just smoke," she observed.

I shrugged eloquently, raising my eyebrows again. "Guess I won't get the chance to ask anyone who was on those boats," I said, staring at her.

She looked away, frowning, but it looked to be from concern, rather than worry or guilt.

"You're quite the survivor," she said eventually.

I snorted. "At this point, I think anyone still alive is a survivor."

.

.

We had canned soup for dinner, something the colony had never used much of. It would have taken too many tins to feed the whole group, and the main cook, David, had made his own stock using any leftovers, and then made soup by the vat. So all in all, it wasn't something I was short of. Archer seemed almost fascinated by it though.

"I haven't seen canned food in a while, certainly not in the cities," she admitted. "It was always the first thing people looked to take."

I nodded along. "Yeah, I snuck this from down in the valley early after I came here. Found quite a lot, and there's only been me to eat it. Don't even use it that much anymore, but it's been a shit year for growing."

"How come?" she asked, tilting her tin to her mouth.

"Rain got into my stores," I said with a grimace. "There was a really wet period and half the things I had planted got beaten down or drowned and I lost most of the things I had stockpiled. So, back to the cans and the foraging."

I looked at her, already licking carefully around the lip of her empty can.

"I don't know what I'd have done if I didn't have this stuff to fall back on," I said, eyeing her bare, bony feet and her twig-like wrists.

 _You didn't have anything to fall back on, did you, Archer?_

.

.

If I thought spending a day in company was weird, it was nothing compared to bedding down for the night. I had at least had the foresight to pull my blankets into the office while she'd gone to fetch her bag, but the door remained open and I was hyperaware of every sound from the other side of it. I sat upright, my back to the wall, my hand on my gun.

It was very dark, the sort of dark where the world only exists in shadows and more shadows, when I felt a tremble in the floor. For a second, I thought it was Archer moving, or a truck approaching, then the feeling intensified and I recognised the sensation

"Um, what's going on?" a scared voice called out.

"Earthquake, probably only a little one," I called back to her.

"Earthquake?!" she squeaked, her voice climbing.

I chuckled. "Welcome to California."

.

.

A/N: So, I hope you enjoyed these two chapters. Archer has been waiting in the wings for a while, and Jac wasn't too interested for a while, but she's back on board now, so we're going onwards and upwards.  
Despite conversations with two people, I've posted this as two chapters because that's how I wrote it, and that's how it feels right to me. I did post them at the same time though, so hope you can let me off on account of that. I keep hearing that people like long chapters, but I like writing them short, especially at the moment when I don't have a lot of time. As always, I write until it _feels_ like a chapter break, whether that's after 600 words or 3k. It felt like there was a break in the middle of this. So there is one.  
On a related note that I probably shouldn't say but feel I need to... I'm writing this story for me. And I want you guys to be reading it for you. That means that if you don't enjoy the story, or are busy, or whatever, and stop reading (whether temporarily or permanently), that's okay. You're under no obligation to read, just as I am under no obligation to write or upload. Similarly, you don't have to review. Even if you've reviewed before. If you reviewed the last chapter, you don't have to review this one. If you reviewed the last ten, you don't have to review any of the next twenty. I like reviews, I'm not going to lie, but I recognise that they are not prerequisites. I'm not saying I'm going to stop asking for a review at the end of chapters, but it's just me _asking_ , nothing more.


	24. Quaking, shaking, shattering, cracking

I opened the office door cautiously the next morning, wondering if Archer would still be there, or if she had just been a construct of my company-starved mind. Messy blonde hair partially hiding oversized eyes that looked up at me. I hadn't imagined her.

Archer was sitting up against one of the broken fridge units. "Morning," she said. "It's weird sleeping indoors. I got used to it always being cold."

I snorted. "Yeah, I know what you mean." _I'm not used to sleeping with someone else in the vicinity._ I didn't know how much sleep I'd actually managed to get, but I'd awoken with my hand still on my gun, just as it had been when I'd dropped off.

"Don't think I slept much after that earthquake anyway."

Now I laughed properly. "That barely counted as an earthquake," I said as I crossed to the empty doorframe and looked out. "Just a baby one."

"How much bigger do they get?"

I looked over my shoulder and smirked. "Well, there's this little thing called the San Andreas fault line..."

The look on her face made me stop.

"Don't worry," I reassured her. "They don't get as big as most people imagine. Might knock some things over, or bring down a light fitting on an active day, but the likelihood of bringing the building down? Very low. We'll be fine."

She didn't look convinced as she stood up and joined me in the doorway, standing close as she peered around my shoulder, unable to see over it.

I quickly spread my feet a little wider, dropping my weight down and slouching against the frame.

"I'm not sure I believe you," she said with mock suspicion.

I gave a grin that was much brighter than I actually felt. "Well, trust is a precious thing," I said, striding out the door without looking back.

"Clearly."

I glanced over my shoulder at the slightly sour word, but before I could question the comment she was smiling, much as I just had, and making her own way across the clearing.

"So, what's the plan for today?" she asked brightly.

I shrugged. "Check the water levels, check for weeds. Make sure that quake didn't loosen anything in the roof, so on and so forth. Whatever needs to be done."

"Alright then, where shall we..." she broke off quickly, arms thrown out to the sides.

I'd gone just as still. I felt it too. A bump in the earth, as if we were standing on a table and someone had suddenly bumped into it.

"Oh shit," I said.

Archer didn't have time to respond before the shaking hit properly.

"Drop!" I screamed, my knees already hitting the floor as I tucked into a tight ball. Archer was only a second behind me. "Cover your head," I cried, one hand reached out towards her as the ground bucked from side to side beneath us.

The last thing I saw was her terrified eyes peering out between under elbows under her messy hair, tears streaming down her face. Then, nothing.

.

.

Someone was crying, desperate wracking sobs, the kind that shook shoulder and stole breaths. They weren't mine, but they still echoed through me. They hurt.

"Come on, don't be dead, don't be dead, please," someone was talking, close by. They stopped to cough, the sound turning into more sobs.

"Come on!" Angry now, the words loud even as the voice broke. "You're a survivor! We're all survivors!"

Everything was dark. Why was it dark?

Oh, right.

I opened my eyes.

Someone shrieked, the noise ripping through my ears. Hands were clapped over a mouth as I winced, and Archer's wide blue eyes, wet with tears, loomed over me.

"Your hair is messy," I said.

She gave a short laugh and began crying again with renewed vigour.

"I thought you were dead," she sniffed. "You're not dead."

"Don't think so," I said, closing my eyes again. "Sorry to disappoint."

She sniffed a couple more times as I lay there. Everything felt very distant. There was a big blank space. I'd lost time and I didn't know where it had gone.

"Earthquake," I said vaguely.

"Uh-huh," Archer said, wiping her eyes. "Does that count as a big one?"

"I think so," I said grimly, opening my eyes and looking around. I couldn't see much, just trees and Archer, crouching right next to me. I started to sit up and gasped as pain shot through my head at the movement.

Eyes tightly shut, I lowered myself back down with infinite care.

"I take it back," I groaned. "I'm definitely dead."

"I think you hit your head."

"Yeah, I'm getting that impression too," I said. Raising a hand, I probed my own scalp, drawing in a sharp breath as I located the sore spot just past the hairline on my left temple.

 _Why is it always the left?_

"Is the building still standing?" I asked, cracking open an eyelid.

Archer glanced back over her shoulder, still wiping her face.

"Ummm, yes. Oh, I think part of the roof has fallen in. But the walls look okay."

I groaned eloquently. "Right. Help me up."

Her wide eyes found me again. "Are you sure that's a good idea? You might have a concussion."

"Yep, and if I have to throw up, I don't want to do it lying down." I waved a hand around until she stood up, bracing herself and hoisting me up from the ground.

I swayed, leaning on a convenient tree as my head spun in circles.

"Okay?" she asked.

I nodded then shook my head. Turning away just in time, I leant over and puked onto the floor.

Behind me, Archer gave something between a sigh and a laugh. "I'll get you some water," she said.

I was crouching with my back to the tree when she came back, still trying to regain my breath. Taking the mug she held out, I washed my mouth out gratefully, then squinted up at her.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it never bothers me," she shrugged. "Everyone else always said they feel sick when they watch someone else puke, but not me."

"Good to know, but not what I meant."

She was silent for a few seconds, looking away.

"I've never felt anything like that before," she said quietly and when she looked back at me, there was true fear in her expression. "How often does that happen?"

"On that scale?" I shook my head but stopped quickly as my stomach rolled again. "I can't remember feeling a quake on that scale before. Ever. Guess you came to visit at the wrong time."

Snorting, she raised her eyebrows.

"Guess so."

The silence fell as I sipped some more water.

Part of me was still shaking with fear, not only for myself and what might have happened but for the apes as well. Caesar had grown up in the city, he knew what an earthquake was, but knowing what was going on didn't make it any less dangerous. They could have fallen from trees or had a tree fall on them. There could have been a landslide. They could have just been flung across the ground as I had. Anything could have happened and I was stuck here with no way of knowing if they were hurt.

Another part of me was contemplating Archer's actions. Even in her own fear, she has been worried about me. Had that been because she cared, or because I was an asset to be used by someone who had sent her here? I was sick of the doubt, the constant watchfulness. I didn't want to have to weigh every word before I spoke.

 _Trust is a precious thing_.

I'd said that, only minutes ago. Who was the last person I'd truly trusted? I didn't trust Archer. Certainly no one at the colony. Caesar? Maybe, but then there had been that time after I'd taken Forest and John and the other bodies back to the beach. We had both been holding our breath after that, slightly warier of the other. Will? I'd kept his secret but never felt any inclination to share any of mine, though my secrets had been of a much lower magnitude at that point. Will had just been a colleague, a friend, like the others in our team.

"Hey!"

I jumped and looked up. "What?"

"You okay?" Archer asked, sounding concerned.

"Yeah, sorry. Just... thinking." I stood up quickly, perhaps a little too quickly, and looked over to the single-story building that had become my temporary home. "Let's see what the damage is."

.

.

A/N: I think I'm going to try and stick to updating this once a week, but depends a lot upon the volume of uni work I have to do. It's also my birthday on Monday. Send me good wishes? Maybe as part of a review?


	25. An Errant Rook

Overall, it could have been worse. Looking up hurt, so I squinted as I examined the corner of the roof that had collapsed inwards over the doorframe. The roof had been leaky before, with small holes everywhere that had left in cold and rain when I'd first moved in. The patches of grey duct tape from my repairs stood out against the ceiling tiles. Duct tape wouldn't fix this though.

I sighed, wishing my head would stop aching. When I concentrated on it, I was sure I could _feel_ myself bleeding underneath the skin on my head. I was going to have an amazing bruise. Still, one bumped head and one roof corner wasn't too bad, considering. It could have been worse.

Frowning, I went still. Depending on where the epicentre had been, and how strong the quake had been there, this could have worked in our favour. What if the bridges had been destroyed? The idea of the Golden Gate bridge being destroyed hurt something inside me, but the other bridges around the bay, the ones the soldiers had used to sneak up behind the apes, they were a liability. It would be almost reassuring if they had collapsed.

"Well, it could have been worse?" Archer said, squinting up at the caved-in roof.

I laughed at the parallels of our thoughts then stopped when it made my head ache.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked, eyeing me with concern.

Eyes closed, I nodded. "Looks like we're going on a scavenging hunt," I said, heading back outside and round the side of the gas station to where my truck was parked.

"Oh, woah, woah, woah." She jumped in front of me, hands up. "I don't think so. You are not driving in this state."

"What state?" I bristled, puffing my chest out as I put out a hand to steady myself on the wall.

Archer raised an eyebrow.

"Fine," I grumbled. "I guess you're driving then."

.

.

The houses in the valley had sustained a variety of damage. A couple of walls had collapsed; the roads might have been a little more cracked than before. Tool sheds were flattened and tiles were missing from most of the roofs. Somewhere in the distance, a single enthusiastic car alarm was blaring.

We left the truck in the middle of a long street and began digging through houses. I suggested that we split up but Archer flatly refused.

"What, so you can collapse somewhere, or get buried in another earthquake and I have no idea where you are? I don't think so," she snorted.

"Any aftershocks are likely to be a much lower magnitude," I pointed out.

"And the structural damage is likely already done," she shot back. "So it wouldn't take as much to bring them down."

I couldn't argue that point, so just waved her into the nearest house ahead of me, watching her back as I followed her through the splintered door frame. Was she genuinely concerned for me, or was it all a front?

Archer made a beeline for the garage and I followed along in her wake until something black on the floor caught my eye. Breaking off from her trail, I crouched down and picked it up.

It was a wooden chess piece. A black rook.

"Hey."

I jumped, looking around at Archer, who was watching me with concern.

"You're not okay," she stated.

"I'm fine," I said, pulling myself out of the memory of being beaten 5 times in a row by someone with brilliant green-gold eyes. Slowly, I straightened the board on the table and placed the rook in a corner square but I didn't move away again.

"Chess," Archer observed as she came up behind me. "Are you any good?"

"No," I admitted. "Though I might have just been playing against people who were better."

It had become something of a tradition, to play a game against Caesar when I had enough time when the stack of papers for Will's signature was big enough. Only one game though, after that first streak of losses. Occasionally, I had even won. Occasionally.

"Are you?" I asked her, looking around for the rest of the pieces, scattered all over the floor by the recent earthquake, some undoubtedly buried under the books that had been toppled off shelves onto the floor.

"I don't know how to play," she admitted, bending down to pick up a knight.

"What?"

"I never learnt," she shrugged.

I blinked at her.

"Right," I said decisively, "help me find all the pieces. We'll take it back and I'll teach you." Dropping to my hands and knees, wincing as the movement resonated through my sore head, I began to work my way around the room, moving books and paper, sticking my hands under furniture as I searched.

" _How_ ," I asked, listening to Archer mimicking me on the other side of the room, "have you never learnt to play chess?"

"I don't know," she said. "My dad was always teaching me to shoot in my spare time."

There was a moment of silence.

"He taught you to shoot? With your bow?" I asked cautiously. She hadn't spoken much about her family or her archery skills before. "He must have been pretty good," I probed hesitantly when she didn't respond immediately.

"He was," she said, with a rushing sigh. "He had a contract with the government, helped with culls of deer, and things like that."

"I didn't think they did culls with archery."

"Mostly, they don't. Not humane enough. You have to prove you're a really good shot to be allowed to do it. And he _was_ a really good shot." She was silent for a moment, as my wandering fingers found a couple of errant pawns. "He took me along to my first one when I was 7."

"Seven?" I looked up and nearly hit my head on a chair.

Archer gave a confirmative grunt. "Yep. I didn't much like it. But I liked the archery itself, and as far as my father was concerned, there wasn't anything to have a problem with. It was just population control, with the most humane deaths possible, and he wouldn't hear anything otherwise. Kept saying I would come around, and that I'd understand one day. He wasn't an easy person to argue with."

I barely even noticed that I'd stopped moving.

"I was never as good as he was, never good enough to be a part of the team, but he kept taking me along to them, even when I told him that I didn't want to go. We were in Yellowstone when the virus struck hard." She paused, just as still as I was.

"He died fairly soon, and that was that. Obviously, the transport system was pretty rough by then, but I made it home and found that there was nothing left for me there either. Been moving around ever since."

"How old were you," I asked quietly, "when..."

"15."

I drew in a breath, rocking back onto my heels. She was so young. More than a decade younger than I was. Her life, her family, had been ripped apart. Because of me.

"I'm sorry," I said. It wasn't nearly enough.

Her face turned away, she shrugged stoically. "It's not your fault."

 _Oh, but it is. It is._

The remaining chess pieces were found in silence, and I took them out to the truck whilst Archer opened the garage door to let in some light and began rummaging through boxes and tool chests. I used the time apart to recompose myself, putting my mask firmly back in place. After 10 years in the colony, I was well practised at it, but it had been a long time since we'd discussed anything from _before_ , since I'd had to hear so clearly about a life I'd ripped apart.

Now, it wasn't enough just to be Jac, innocent lab technician, anymore. Now I had to be an outsider, with no link to the colony, or the apes, or the virus.

"Found anything?" I asked as I joined Archer in the garage.

"A bicycle pump," she offered. "But no bikes, funnily enough."

I snorted. "Of course not."

.

.

Overall it was a fairly productive trip. The best find was Archer discovering several sheets of plywood stacked up against a partially completed structure in a garden. They'd fallen over in the earthquake but seemed undiminished by their 10-year weathering outside. Clearly whoever had owned that house had been a competent handyman, because we also found a complete tool chest that was far too big for us to take back and hundreds of boxes of different sorts of nails and screws along one wall inside the back door. Archer and I shared blank looks, took a varied selection and a couple of hammers from the tool chest, and left the rest. I made a note of the house number as Archer started the truck and turned around.

.

.

The throbbing in my head peaked and diminished slightly on the drive back, not helped by the jolting of the uneven road that hadn't seen a maintenance crew in over a decade. Back at the gas station, I gave Archer a boost and she perched an undamaged corner of the roof while I passed the sheets of plywood up to her. From the way she kept glancing at the edge with gritted teeth, I didn't think she was very comfortable being up there but she had flatly refused to let me go up, and I doubted she would have been able to lift me up anyway. I did my best to stay close below her position as she shuffled the boards across the roof, just in case she slipped, but there was little else I could do. I threw a hammer up to her, along with a few long nails, wincing at every loud stroke as I ducked inside to work on the damage from underneath.

It was a tiring morning, but a productive one. Standing on a fridge unit turned on its side, I poked cables back into the roof space, and propped up beams with more nails, throwing broken ceiling tiles onto the floor. It grew darker as Archer closed the hole in the exterior of the roof.

By about mid-afternoon, we were both done, and I helped her off the roof. The bruise on my head was blossoming, purple tingeing the side of my forehead. The wound seemed fairly localised and my eye hadn't swollen shut – not that it would have made any difference to my vision.

I was just thinking of going to start sorting out the garden when Archer spoke.

"Huh."

I looked around.

She was standing by the speaker system, tapping at the control panel.

"I think the power is out," she said.

I looked at the dark controls, then across to the single fridge unit that still worked. The light was off, and there was no whirring from the cooling system. My aching brain put it together faster than I'd expected.

The power was out. It wasn't exactly a necessity for any day to day things, but if the speaker system didn't work, my plan for intercepting the soldiers was scuppered.

"Well, shit," I swore amicably.

.

.

A/N: Hey guys, I'm sure most of you are aware, but ff.n seems to be having some (more) issues, with its notification emails for reviews and PMs. If I haven't replied to your review, many apologies, I normally reply to them all, but may have missed it. I will endeavour to keep checking and will try to reply to them when I see them!  
In other news, it's actually exhausting having to try and keep up with all the issues ff.n keep having. Multiple times I've struggled to upload documents, and it seems ironic that AO3, which is nominally still in beta, has far less issues. As such, I'm considering quitting this site and going back to posting exclusively on AO3. It's where I started, and still the site I prefer. I haven't made a decision yet, but it has been on my mind for a while.  
Enough ramblings. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	26. Revelations

It took me two days to get the power back up, and that involved a lot of trudging through the forest, searching for a break in the cables. There was one benefit of this; I managed to get some time away from Archer, and someone else was quick to capitalise on this.

It had been only a few minutes since we'd split when I looked down from the cables overhead, and there he was.

"Blue!" I breathed, a grin spreading across my face as I strode towards him. Stopping a little way back, I reached out a cautious hand, touching his arm gently.

Breaking from his stillness, he pulled me into a rough hug that I reciprocated with interest. His eyes remained on my face as he pulled back, touching the bruise on my head.

Wincing, I pulled back, waving his hand away.

"I'm fine," I said impatiently.

"Her?" he growled, looking over my shoulder.

I glanced back, but there was no sign of Archer.

"No," I said, shaking my head quickly. "Just an accident in the earthquake. Are you all okay, was anyone hurt?"

"Not bad," Blue Eyes said. "Bad-ly," he corrected himself, and I grinned. "She dangerous?"

I grimaced. "I don't know. I don't think so. She doesn't seem to be with the soldiers and she doesn't seem to know about you guys, but I want to keep it that way."

Blue Eyes nodded. "Saw her. Stayed away."

"Thank you," I sighed, relieved. Glancing back over my shoulder again, I started walking, following the power line overhead, Blue Eyes keeping pace with me.

"How is everyone?" I asked.

"Work hard," Blue said. "Found new place."

"That's great!" I said honestly.

"What... are you doing?" he asked.

"Power is out," I sighed. "We went up to the dam, and it's still running, but I think there must be a break in the cables somewhere, so we're trying to fix it. Not that I know how we're going to fix it if we find it," I added in a mutter.

"No music," Blue Eyes observed.

"Exactly. No power, no music, no plan."

"Then come back."

"Oh, Blue," I groaned. "Please stop."

" _Worry_. _You hurt,_ " he signed stubbornly.

"From the _earthquake_ ," I snapped, rounding on him. "Do you think this is easy for me, that I want to be doing this? I'm scared _all the time_! I'm scared about whether or not you are okay, I'm scared about what will happen if I _do_ manage to intercept the soldiers, I'm scared of being out here on my own. I'm scared that you will be attacked when I'm not there and I won't be able to do anything about it. But you know what? None of that matters. Because that's _nothing_ compared to how scared I am that I can make a difference, here and now, and that I might run away instead."

I took several breaths, trying to calm myself as Blue Eyes stared at me.

 _Too loud_.

"I'm sorry," I said, volume back under control. "Look, I want to come back with you. More than anything. But I can't. It's about... it's about choosing between what's right, and what's easy. Blue, it would be easier to come back with you. I know that. And I know that staying out here, doing this, might not even be the right choice, but I believe that it is. So I have to do it. And it would be a lot easier if I had your support."

Suddenly exhausted, I half turned away, sitting down on the cold floor. For a moment, Blue Eyes didn't move and I worried that I had made him angry, but then he knuckled around in front of me. Warily, I raised my gaze and watching him making a sign.

Both his hands, curled into fists, held horizontally in front of him, thumbs touching.

"What does that mean?" I asked quietly.

"Apes, together, strong," he huffed, with the tiniest pause between each word.

I gave a small smile. "I'm not ape," I pointed out.

"You are _family_ ," he said, signing the word at the same time.

My shoulders slumped and I looked at him with barely contained tears.

Knuckling closer, he huddled down and put his arms around me.

I returned the hug, resting my forehead on his shoulder, and for the first time in longer than I could remember, I let my guard drop. I stopped listening for movement behind me, I stopped thinking about the emotions showing on my face. I let it all go, knowing that, at that moment, I didn't need my guard up. At that moment, he was my guard.

.

.

Archer was the one who found the problem – several tree branches had fallen and pulled the power cables sideways. By some miracle, they weren't broken, just shorting out, and we spent a frustrating yet amusing afternoon trying to get the branches down without actually touching them. Mostly, it involved throwing more branches at them, which felt counter-intuitive but worked in the end.

The power at the gas station remained patchy, often cutting out for a few seconds, or even several minutes, but for the most part, it remained on, and that was the important thing.

My dilemma now was what to do about the soldiers and Archer. Could I continue with my original plan to lure them in and wean information out of them with her around? It might provide better cover for my true identity, but equally, if I was revealed, she was another potential attacker. Part of me whispered that she wouldn't do that, but I shrugged it off. I was reasonably confident now that she wasn't working with the soldiers, but I didn't know how she would react if she knew the truth about me. In the end, I didn't have to decide; the problem removed itself before it arose.

.

.

"Okay, but I'm sure I saw something once where the castle and the king switched places?"

I groaned as Archer moved her bishop across the board. "That's called 'castling' and it's the stupidest move there is. Plus, I don't understand it or remember how it works, so it's irrelevant."

"Why is it stupid?" Archer chuckled.

"Because it is," I grumbled. "Only knights can jump. _And_ , it means you move two pieces in a single turn. I'm pretty sure someone just made it up because they were stuck one day. 'You're in check... Oh no I'm not, I'm going to do this fancy-ass move that's totally legitimate and get out of it.'."

Archer was laughing again at my ridiculous voice impressions as I moved my knight forwards.

For a few moment, we were silent as we played. She'd picked up the rules well enough after a couple of games, and now we had a fair even mix of winning and losing.

"Can I ask you a question?" she asked, just as she slid her way out of my plan to check her.

"Um, sure?" I eyed her, taken aback by her suddenly introspective tone.

She refused to meet my gaze. "What's your name?"

I looked at her lowered head. It was not a question I'd been expecting. Neither of us had ever offered up our real names. My jab of calling her 'Archer' had stuck like glue, and she'd very rarely called me anything, though 'Survivor' had slipped out a few too many times to be a coincidence.

She didn't take the question back, despite my hesitation, and nor had she made a move.

The worst part was that I had an answer ready, but I paused, some part of me wanting to give a different answer.

 _Jac_ , it wanted to say. _My name is Jac._

"Heather," I croaked out then cleared my throat as she finally looked up. "Heather."

She gave the most beautiful smile I'd seen in years. "Lilianne," she offered in return. "But everyone just calls me Lily."

 _Lily_. It suited her, from her messy blond hair to her oversized eyes.

"So... Heather," she drawled the word out as I inched my pawn closer to the other side of the board. "Can I ask you another question?"

I grinned at her. "You can."

"When were you going to tell me about the apes?"

"What?"

I answered instinctively, without even registering the question properly then looked up, and found her eyes locked on me.

"What do you mean?" I said, but I could feel the mask slipping.

"I saw you," she said with a gentle bluntness. "I heard the music and followed it, but I watched you for a while, to see what you were like. And I saw you, right out there, with an ape."

I couldn't breathe.

"Obviously, I was kinda confused—"

Chess pieces flew everywhere as I launched myself over the board. Her head smacked off the ground as I tackled her, flipping her roughly over onto her front and pinning her arms. My gun was in my hand and then it was pressed against the back of her neck.

"Who are you?" I hissed. "Who are you working for? Where did you come from? What..."

"Get off me!"

"Who sent you?!" I roared.

"No one!" she cried, wriggling underneath me.

I ground my knee into her elbow and she went still with a gasp of pain.

"No one sent me," she repeated, her voice wavering. "I swear."

Did I believe her? _Not enough_. I didn't move. The gun was to her head. It would make an awful mess... I wanted to slap myself for the callous thought, even as I remained frozen, my breaths uneven and shaky.

"Heather, survivor," she said, her voice steadier now. "Let me up."

I couldn't move. I couldn't do it. She knew. She knew about the apes, about Blue, about Caesar, and I couldn't do it.

"You're not with..."

"I'm not with anyone," she said emphatically. "Let me up. Now."

Slowly, I removed my knee from her elbow and my gun from the back of her head, though I didn't put it away. I stood up and backed away so fast it felt like I was falling.

Lily rolled over and looked up at me with something between shock and sadness. She opened her mouth, but I couldn't hear it, so I spoke first.

"You..." I cleared my throat. "You need to leave."

She just stared at me with that blank, broken expression.

"Now."

Slowly, she stood up, and gathered up her possessions without a word, her back to me. Back straight, she moved towards the door.

"Don't go to the city," I said, before she could leave. It was too much to ask; I had no right, but I couldn't help myself. "Go back north, or go around, just... don't go to the city. Please."

She spun on her heel to face me and there were tears streaking her cheeks.

"I don't know who the hell you think I am, or what you think I'm doing here, but you're wrong," she asserted. "Remember that." Then she strode out the door.

I stood in the silence that remained, gazing blindly at the chess pieces, scattered all over the floor.

 _Trust is a precious thing_.

And I'd never really trusted anyone, had I? Too late to change that now. I needed to be sure she didn't run straight to the soldiers or run into them if she'd been telling the truth. Without holstering my gun, I followed Archer out of the door.

.

.

 **A/N:** Sorry this took so long. I've had a horrible couple of weeks. Let me know what you thought of the chapter!


	27. Him

**A/N:** For Hollie.

.

.

It was three days before I saw another living creature. Three days during which I stewed over the image of watching Archer's messy blond hair disappearing into the distance, heading north along the highway. I didn't turn on the speaker system. I didn't go foraging for food or collect any more water. I didn't go down into the valley and scavenge through the houses or tend to my growing plants.

Floating aimlessly around the gas station, or more often than not, just sitting inside, staring at the opposite wall or the chess board, I didn't feel like I was even real. I was a ghost, lost in the trees, lost in myself.

I hadn't felt like this since the first few weeks after the outbreak of the virus when everything was undeniably crumbling but it wasn't quite real that I was the one who'd caused it. The same numbness was coating the inside of my head, the outside of my heart.

That time, I'd come out of the mood very slowly, drawn out by the necessity to keep up appearances. Being kept busy by the colony had helped but now I was alone. The only person I was doing jobs for was me, and that motivation wasn't enough.

By midday of the third day, some of the shock was wearing off, and I was sitting outside, weeding half-heartedly, when a huff made me look up.

I came to my feet at once; it wasn't the one I'd expected.

"Caesar?" I asked, mildly bewildered. "What are you doing here?"

It wasn't just Caesar either; Rocket, Ash's father, was standing just behind him.

Caesar moved closer, crouching on the other side of my little vegetable plot, reaching out to touch one of my cabbages. They were growing well, about the size of my two clenched fists now.

Caesar looked at me and I had to fight not to turn away. No one had ever held my gaze quite as he did, so deeply and for so long.

"What happened?" he asked me.

Blinking, I looked away but the tears came regardless. I gritted my teeth and wiped them angrily away. Hadn't I cried enough yet?

"How much do you know?" I asked, with the barest tremor in my voice.

He took a while to answer, his clever fingers dragging over the soil in silence. He sat back, rubbing the dirt between the pads of his fingers before he spoke.

"Another human here. Woman. Not know where from. Not know about us." He looked up at me again. "Is she soldier? Like them?" He jerked his head off to the south but I knew what he meant anyway.

I shook my head, and the truth brought new tears to my eyes. "No," I said, croaking slightly. Clearing my throat, I tried again. "I wasn't sure at first, but now..."

I had stood on that highway long enough to be sure that she hadn't circled back around. There had never been anything to indicate that she was with the soldiers anyway, nothing but my own suspicious mind. My own inability to _trust_.

"She wasn't one of them," I said.

 _She didn't even have any goddamn shoes._

"What happened?" Caesar asked as I wiped at my eyes again.

"She knew about you," I said dully, forcing the words out. "She had known all along. Saw Blue here before I knew about her. Said she was waiting for me to tell her, but I guess she got tired of waiting." Taking a deep breath, I blinked and didn't bother to wipe away the tears that fell. "I freaked out, threatened her, and sent her away. She went back north, so she shouldn't have encountered any of the soldiers. She can't tell them anything about you. She's gone. And she won't come back."

Looking away, I watched Rocket moving slowly around the camp, pausing by a tree. That was close to where we'd been when the big earthquake had struck. Archer had been so worried the night before, so worried about me. She'd helped me rebuild the roof...

I couldn't work out if I wanted to hit something and scream, or just lie in a corner in utter silence.

"I'm sorry," Caesar said suddenly, surprising me.

"It was all my fault," I said, my tone somewhere between hopeless and bitter.

Standing up, Caesar moved around to crouch behind me and pulled my shoulder until I was facing him.

"No," he said simply, holding my upper arms tightly.

I met his bright eyes and my shoulders slumped. Letting him pull me in, I rested my forehead on his and closed my eyes.

"Thank you," I whispered.

He huffed slightly before letting me go, pushing my shoulder lightly.

Smiling lightly, I took a cleansing breath and straightened my back.

"How's everything going? Blue said you've found somewhere new; do you need anything? There's still a lot of stuff in the valley if you want me to look for anything. Any sign of movement from the soldiers? You are careful, aren't you?"

Caesar laughed a little at my outburst of questions.

"Home good," he said before his expression turned more serious. "Soldiers have set up camp on beach, this side of bridge. Started searching. Very... careful, about it. Check everywhere."

"Methodical," I nodded grimly. "How far north have they come?"

Caesar shrugged. "Halfway to here."

My breaths seemed to float away on the nonexistence breeze.

 _It was real. Really happening. Really war..._

Swallowing, I tried to quell the tears that threatened to return.

"Promise me you're careful?" I breathed.

He held my gaze as he made the sign that I recognised. Finger to his lips, moved downwards and spreading to a flat hand on top of his other fist. Promise.

I sighed but nodded. What else could either of us do?

.

.

Time passed. The weather got colder. Half my crop of peas died suddenly, for reasons I could not fathom. The cabbages continued to thrive, I pottered around the camp, trying not to think about how Archer, Lily, would be coping with the colder weather.

Sounds of the war reached me within a couple of weeks of Caesar's visit, in the form of distant gunshots, extended thundering of heavy fire from the south-east. I went utterly still at the sound and remained frozen for several long minutes after the noise died away. Fear was a constant companion after that. I didn't see anything more of the apes. Every evening I told myself that it was because it was too risky, that they couldn't leave evidence of their presence nearby if the soldiers were ever to believe my story, but another part of me whispered in the dark of a far worse reason for their absences. I hadn't seen Blue Eyes since before I'd sent Archer away. His distance sat within me like a hollow space, far sharper than I'd expected.

.

.

Spring was in the air, a time for change, when he came. The guns had been as silent as the apes for the past week, and my music was playing, an album by _30 Seconds to Mars_. I vaguely recognised some of their songs from my childhood, and I hummed along as I listened through my earplugs of microfiber dusters. Barely noticing the last song finish, I kept humming as I boiled more water in my little tin. When it was bubbling merrily, I lifted it carefully, watching to make sure I didn't spill any as I turned around and tipped it carefully into my bucket. That task done, I looked up.

I nearly dropped the pan. It was like seeing a ghost in the trees. I'd expected someone, at some point, but I hadn't expected him.

His hair was slightly longer, poking out from under a tightly fitting cap, but still shy of his ears. His gun was up, pointing directly at me, obscuring half his face but I recognised him anyway.

John McCullough.

Of course it had to be John McCullough. Despite the gun trained on me, he wasn't making any overtly threatening movements, so I lowered the pot to the ground and slowly raising my hands, pulling the wads of fabric from my ears, his blue eyes following the movement.

"That was my favourite album when I was younger," he said, breaking the silence. "Not that I was allowed to listen to it. We all go through phases though, huh?"

I just stared at him. I should say something. Something. Anything.

"You're alive," I blurted out.

 _Anything but that._ My inner self was ready to slap me.

An eyebrow rose, a snort escaping his nose as his mouth twitched.

"Sorry?"

"No, not..." I backtracked as fast as I could. " _People_. I meant people. In general."

The eyebrow rose higher. "You're not that isolated," he pointed out.

"Yes, I mean no, it's..." I groaned. "The guns went quiet," I said quickly, finally finding a cover story. "Hard to know if it will be for the last time."

"I guess," he said, the gun now pointing at the ground somewhere between us.

I almost wished it wasn't; I could see so much more of his face now.

"I thought I'd heard music for the last time. Good way to bring people in. That is the intention, isn't it?"

I shrugged, recognising firmer ground. I'd prepared for these questions. "To start with, yeah. But that was a while ago. Now it just sort of... fills the silence."

"How long have you had power?"

Another shrug. "Sometime last year. End of summer. Ish. Took me by surprise. Just an ordinary day, then, bam, lights came on. I thought I was imagining things."

He laughed then, a sound that shivered through me as his gun lowered fully.

I smiled back, feeling a cold hardness descend over the spark of warmth in my chest.

.

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 **A/N** : It's been a long time, I know. Life has been very hard recently. I won't bore you with the details, but hope you enjoyed this chapter regardless of the wait time.


	28. John's Request

He didn't stay for very long, probably only half an hour, but it seemed like a long time. Neither of us dropped our guard completely. He kept his hand on his gun, I never turned my back on him.

I dropped as many hints as I could that would both distance me from the colony; that I'd been up here for a long time, kept saying how odd it was to see another person, everything I could think of.

He told me his name was 'Lieutenant McCullough', to which I snorted, rolled my eyes and asked who called their child 'Lieutenant'. I got a smile in return that sent an ache through my chest, and he shook his head.

"John," he said, still with a quirk to his lips. He held out a hand and I moved forwards very carefully to shake it.

"Heather," I returned and that was that.

Just before he left, he looked at me for a moment and said 'guess I'll see you around'. It made me feel cold inside, but I shrugged and nodded.

"I'm not going anywhere," I replied, holding my arms out to the sides to indicate my camp. "You know where I am."

.

.

Once he'd gone, I was careful to maintain appearances for a while—Archer had proven that it was easy to watch me without my knowledge. So I wandered about, continuing with my chores, occasionally staring pensively at the place where John had been. Only when darkness had fallen and all the lights were turned off did I sit inside, put my head into my hands, and try to think.

It was him. _Him._

First I'd thought he might have died despite my delivering him back to the troops on the beach, then after I'd seen him on the north end of the bridge I'd swung between relief, anger, and despair and now... Now I didn't know what to think.

He was completely, utterly, undeniably one of _them_. The enemy, the ones we were fighting against. I wanted him and all the other soldiers gone with every fibre of my heart and soul. I wanted to wash their footprints off every beach and fix every shred of destruction they had caused.

But I also wanted him to be okay.

 _We are responsible for every life we save_. Something my sister would say, no doubt quoted from some book she'd read. Now I felt the truth in it. I felt responsible for his life. I'd held him back from death, that made it my fault that he was alive. Didn't that mean I had a duty towards how his life turned out?

I finally raised my head. There was only one way I could think of that I could influence his life now; doing everything I could to stop this war, as peacefully as possible. I wouldn't be able to keep up the charade for long, but every scrap of information I could get would help. I just had to hope that it would last long enough for me to gather something useful.

.

.

After a fitful night that mainly consisted of staring up at the ceiling with my ears straining for any noise from outside, I rose very early. In the pre-dawn gloom, I stood and considered. To the north, over a couple of ridges, I'd stashed a bag of emergencies supplies. Either I could wait out of sight, try and see if the soldiers returned with someone from the colony who could correctly identify me, and then slip away if that was the case, or I could continue as normal. There would be a higher chance of a firefight if I went with the latter option, but it would be less suspicious if John came back alone, or with other soldiers.

The real question was what did I think he would do, or possibly what would his superiors have ordered him to do.

My instincts told me they would be just as suspicious as I would be if I were on the other side of the situation. Shifting my weight from side to side, I tried to find another way. Could I make it look like I was only gone for a short time? That would fall apart if they watched for a while before revealing themselves. I shouldn't have told John that I would be here. There was always the possibility that he wouldn't come back today anyway.

In the end, I settled for delaying the decision. Caesar had said the soldiers were on a beach this side of the bridge, and they couldn't be on the one along the road from me. That meant they were most likely on the other good sized beach between me and the bridge, easily 3 miles south of my camp. It would take about an hour to cover that distance, especially with the awkward terrain. I had some time before there was a possibility of them arriving.

With wilful determination, I lugged water to irrigate my mixed crops. If I survived the next few days, I might be able to think about planting some more. I should check the guide for possible candidates.

Crops watered, I went for a short run, just to the coast and back, then wandered around camp whilst cooling down. The exertion helped a little and by the time my breathing had returned to normal, I'd decided on a compromise. I would stay around camp but go in and out as much as possible, minimising the time I was actually waiting.

So that was what I did. It was a long and tense morning. Every bird call and shifting leaf had me gripping my gun inside my pocket and glancing around nervously as I wore paths to and from my camp in almost every direction. By the time the sun peaked overhead, I was stressed, grumpy, and tired. So of course, that was when they turned up.

.

.

John wasn't alone this time, picking his way out of the trees with another soldier at his shoulder. I leapt to my feet, hand going to my gun, but as the newcomer came into view, I relieved not to recognise him.

"Jumpy?" John asked, nodding at my hand as I pulled it out of my pocket.

I grimaced but shrugged. "Habit. Never know what's around up here. Saw a bear last spring. Terrifying." I shuddered. "So," I changed the subject, sitting back down simply because my legs were tired. "You're back. Didn't expect you so soon."

They both moved closer, the second one looking around with interest.

"Who's your friend?" I asked before either of them could speak.

"Sergeant Stephens," John said.

"Ma'am," the other soldier said.

I raised an eyebrow. "I don't do titles," I said shortly. "What's your name?"

"S'not a title. It's a rank," Stephens pointed out.

I sat up straighter, ready to push to my feet. "Name," I growled. "Or go away."

We stared at each other for a few moments. Stephens looked to John, who gave a small jerk of his head that I couldn't read.

"Rick. Rick Stephens," he admitted.

Now I really did come to my feet, but it was with a smile as I held out a hand.

"Heather," I said, as he shook it. His hands were hard and calloused.

"No title?" Rick asked, mouth twitching.

 _Doctor_.

I laughed. "Nope," I said over my shoulder as I strode inside and grabbed 3 chairs and bought them out.

'Chair' was a generous term. They were just crates with some spare plywood on top. But it was something to sit on that was off the ground, so I called them chairs without guilt.

"So," I said seriously, once we were all sat down. "What are you doing here?"

John raised an eyebrow. "We're not allowed to visit?"

"What are you doing _here_?" I emphasised, gesturing expansively around. "In the Bay. In the woods."

The two soldiers exchanged glances. Or rather, Rick looked at John. John just flicked his eyes sideways in response to the movement before refocusing on me.

"How much do you know about the Simian Flu?" John asked carefully.

I looked at him for what felt like a long time. His eyes were so blue.

"You're here because of the apes," I stated.

Now they really did look at each other.

"You know about them?" John asked, leaning forwards.

I sat back, crossing my arms. "I know _of_ them," I said. "What about them? When did they become a problem for the Army?"

"When they attacked the city," John said bluntly.

I snorted with laughter then fell silent at the expressions on their faces. "You're joking."

"They're dangerous," Rick said.

"That's ridiculous," I scoffed. "They keep to themselves from what I can tell."

"You've seen them?"

"Would have been hard not to, given how long I've been up here. I've never had to shoot at them though," I snapped at Rick.

"They shoot back," John said.

I stood up, walking a few paces away before turning back to face them both. "Alright, this is a really bad joke, so drop it now. Who put you up to this? Because it's clearly ludicrous."

"It's not a joke," John said, coming to his feet and stalking towards me.

It was an effort to hold my ground.

"They descended on the city and the people living there with no warning," he said. "With guns and tanks. Hundreds of people died."

I took a step back, thought of Sophie, and didn't have to fake the horror on my face.

"By the time we got down here to help," John went on, a little quieter, "they'd driven everyone out of the city, away from all the resources, all the shelter they'd worked so hard to build. And they were the ones lucky enough not to be slaughtered in cages."

It was a twisted, abridged version, but still too close to the truth to be comfortable.

"They _are_ dangerous," John assured me. "They're smart and armed and _dangerous_. And we need help."

I looked up at him from my examination of his boots. "Help?"

"We pushed them out of the city, but this is their territory now, they know the ground much better than we do."

I took a step back, shaking my head but he pursued me.

"You live up here. You've seen them. You know these mountains."

Still shaking my head, I backed away even further. "No, I can't. Anyone from the city could help you, ask one of them."

"They're gone."

"What?"  
"We sent them north, they're not soldiers, they don't belong in this fight."

 _They were gone._ All of them, if he was telling the truth. There was no one left who could identify me... This was perfect. More than perfect. More than anything I could have hoped for.

"I... I'll think about it," I said hesitantly.

John let out a breath, standing back a little. "Thank you," he said and even sounded sincere. Turning around, he walked back to Rick. "Come on, we need to meet up with the others," he said, voice low but still loud enough for me to hear.

They both looked back at me as they strode off along the road heading east.

I remained still and silent, staring after them for several long minutes before I let my face break into a wide smile. Hastily stowing the chairs back inside, I took off north as fast as I could. I had to find one of the apes and get a message to Caesar. The plan was changing.


	29. Making Tracks

My enthusiasm was somewhat diminished by the time I got back to the camp in the evening. Surely it was a test. Or worse, what if John had been lying, and there were still some of the colonists around, waiting to get me off guard before revealing themselves. Disconnecting the sound system from the internet speakers, I put in a disk of _Two Steps From Hell._ I went to sleep and dreamed of flying and of falling, intertwined with long red hair and bright blue eyes.

.

.

Rising early the next morning, I trimmed my hair in the bathroom mirror. It was still very short, but some bits seemed to be growing out faster than others, so I evened it up as much as possible, all the while wondering why I was bothering. That done, I stood for a moment, examining my face critically.

The redness about my left eye was completely gone, leaving no sign of the damage that had been done. The bruise around my temple from my knock during the earthquake was gone as well. Aside from the various little scraps here and there that came from having flat vision, my face was the clearest it had been since before I'd come up to the woods to look for Caesar.

Closing my right eye, a habit I'd gotten out of over the end of winter, I looked at my reflection and drew back slightly in shock. I waved a hand, turned my head from side to side. I could see. Not properly, not clearly, but more than I'd been able to before. I could distinguish my outline against the wall behind me, could even differentiate between my face and my hair. Opening both eyes again, I blinked several times, trying to discern a difference. Maybe the change had been so slow that I hadn't noticed. Reaching out, I touched the old electric hand-dryer on the first attempt, my fingers connecting with it just when I expected them to. I grinned. I could see.

.

.

They were there much earlier that day. Sat on the step just in front of the door, I didn't even pretend that I wasn't waiting, coming to my feet as soon as I heard John's approaching footsteps coming down the road. My heart was hammering already but did an extra hitch as he came into view. For the first time, I moved forward to meet him halfway, rather than waiting for him to get to me.

"Okay," I said before he could speak. "I'm not sure about this whole thing, but I need to know. So here's what's going to happen. We're going to scout around a bit. I'll show you where I've seen them and we'll see what they do. But I'm telling you right now if you shoot first, I'm out of there. Understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said.

I blinked, taken aback by his easy acceptance of my terms. "That's it? No more about how they're dangerous, or whatever? About how I'm supposed to follow your lead?"

"No. You'll see for yourself," he said. "The rest of the unit is this way." He turned, retracing his steps back up the road. "And you'll follow my lead tomorrow," he threw back over his shoulder, just before I started to follow him.

I narrowed my eyes, considering how easy it would be to shoot him in the back. "Cocky little..." I trailed off into a growl, but I was smiling as I jogged to catch up and walk beside him down the road. I sure as hell wasn't going to walk behind him.

.

.

The rest of the _unit_ comprised of 12 other soldiers who were waiting about a quarter of a mile down the road, talking in quiet voices and watching the trees all around them. Rick was among them and nodded to me as we drew up to them. The others looked at me with expressions ranging from doubt to suspicion. On my side, I was more interested in their equipment than their thoughts of me. They were all carrying rifles, with extra ammo on their belts, and packs over their shoulders. One had a tangle of wires poking out from behind his shoulder. A radio?

After looking them over once more, I glanced north, then south, trying to map our current position in my head.

"Stay quiet, stay close, don't shoot first," I said, then turned away without looking at John and began to walk north.

If he gave any further instructions, they were non-verbal, and they quickly all ranged around me without a single word. John was on my left shoulder, head spinning constantly in the corner of my eye as he looked around. Rick was a little way off to my right; I could see him whenever I glanced back.

They were fairly quiet, but if anything that just made it even eerier, the rustling of leaves and quiet breathing distracting me more than if they'd spoken.

We'd been moving for about 15 minutes when John touched my elbow. I came to a halt at once, looking back at him quizzically. He pointed off to the left, where one of the soldiers had his gun up, trained on a tangle of dark undergrowth with a clear path through the middle of it.

I shook my head. "Deer," I murmured. "There's a waterhole up there that they sometimes come to."

I moved on, not looking around when I saw a flicker of movement out of the corner of my eye as two of the soldiers slipped off down the rough track. That was nothing less than I had expected. They wouldn't find anything that way except old deer tracks anyway. Besides, I knew where we were now, and I knew exactly where we were going.

.

.

It took another hour or so, at a reasonably slow pace, before I threw out an arm, halting John beside me. His rifle came up at once, the action mirrored instantly by 12 others behind us.

"You see something?" he breathed, quiet as a whisper behind me.

I shook my head, stepping carefully forwards towards a patch of open ground. John was inches behind me, but the others held their positions.

"First time I saw one," I said quietly to him over my shoulder. "It was around here." Glancing left and right, I nodded, as if to myself. "Look," I breathed, pointing back and forth. The trail was quite clear. I turned right and moved a few feet along the trail, crouching down and pointing silently at the clear paw print in the mud.

John was on high alert down, silently moving his men up whilst constantly maintaining a look out on all sides.

Sitting back on my heels, I considered the fresh track and kept my face carefully blank.

Caesar had got my message and done as I'd asked. I just hoped they were all far away now.

Dropping my gaze again, I followed the track with my eyes, west to north-east, knowing where it led. When I looked back up, John was eyeing me expectantly. Coming to my feet, I jerked my head and lead the way on, keeping slightly to the side of the track, moving with brisker steps now.

.

.

The sun was almost directly overhead when I stopped again, legs burning from the climb up the side of the mountain. Looking up, I didn't need to fake the awe on my face as I took in the huge log structures that remained standing, albeit charred and slumped down onto each other.

John took the lead instantly, motioning for me to remain where I was as he led the other soldiers forwards, even their feet synchronised as they pressed forward into the apes' old camp. A stab of longing took me by surprise. When was the last time I'd been part of a group like that? Truly part of something more than just myself. More than a lie or an alliance.

With an impatient sigh at my own melancholy, I followed their path, pausing beside the gap they'd pushed through and watching their quick, furtive movements as they cleared the area. Once their guns were lowered and they had coalesced back into a group, I picked my way inside, looking around with interest. I'd never entered from this side before, the new vantage point threw me for a few seconds before I recognised Caesar's tree and re-orientated myself. We were very close to the point where he had fallen after Koba had shot him.

Rick watched me draw closer, cradling his gun as he examined my expression.

"This..." I shook my head. "Were there people up here? Surely this wasn't all them?"

"They're not just animals," Rick said.

"I know what," I snapped. "It would be hard to see them and think they were. But still... I didn't realise they were so..." I gestured around.

"You can tell? Just from looking at them?" Rick was frowning at me.

"They just... they didn't act like animals," I elaborated. "They didn't run. They held eye contact. Normal animals don't do that." Crouching down, I plucked a charred stick from the ground, twirling it in my fingers. "I guess they don't do this either."

"You know, technically humans are animals too," one of the other soldiers said from a few feet away.

Scowling, I stood up, pointing the stick threateningly at him. "Do you really want to start that argument?"

Internally, I was shocked. Surely they were on the other side of that argument, thinking that we were better than the apes? How could they justify this war if they didn't believe that?

"Okay, that's enough," John interrupted, glaring at us all.

"Sorry, Sir," the other soldier muttered, if slightly bitterly.

I crossed my arms and didn't say a word.

"Elms, radio back to base, give them our location," John barked, turning away. "I want eyes on the whole perimeter of this place, every way in and out. Look for worn tracks. They might still be coming back here."

Rick gave me an unexpected grin before turning and striding off towards the north-west corner of the camp. The other soldier gave me a grimace that could possibly have been interpreted as an apology then headed off as well.

Tossing the stick aside, I sighed. I'd forgotten how complicated it was being around people. I missed the solitude of my gas station already. I missed the apes. I even missed Archer. I'd had to watch what I said, but we'd never _really_ argued.

With the soldiers all occupied, I took the chance to wander around the ruined camp. Other than the exterior wall, which only remained upright because it had collapsed down onto itself, not much remained. The branches of Caesar's tree were still bare and blacked, despite the intervening months, and nothing remained of the smaller structures expect piles of ash and the occasional charred fragments of a log.

"Lieutenant!"

The call made every head come up, but it wasn't from the perimeter. One of the soldiers was standing on the raised ledge just below Caesar's tree, staring at the wall.

 _Oh._

I hurried over, watching John converge from the other side, several other soldiers moving to back him up as well. I quickened my pace. I wanted to see their reaction to this.

Arriving seconds after John, I vaulted up onto the ledge and stopped a few feet back, looking up at what had caught the soldier's eye. It was as I'd suspected; the laws carved into rock has survived the fire. Two words were visible.

 _Ape not..._

"What d'ya reckon that means?" one of the other soldiers said.

"Maybe this _was_ people?" Another said, but they sounded doubtful.

John walked forwards, wiping away soot with the sleeve of his uniform, the rest of the sentence slowly being revealed.

 _Ape not kill ape._

Several of the soldiers cursed softly.

"No way," one of them said, as if trying to convince himself.

"What would you have said to this whole thing a week ago?" Another pointed out, earning a grunt of acknowledgement.

"Thoughts?"

I looked up, surprised to have John ask my opinion. Eyes flicking from his blue ones, to the carved words, to the ground, I considered.

"I'm wondering," I said slowly, "how long they've been underestimated for."

.

.

Hope you enjoyed, this marks a BIG milestone... With this chapter, over 'If Only' and 'And So We Descend', Jac and I have amassed more than 100,000 words. I'm staggered by how far she has come, and honoured that she is still willing to talk to me after all I've put her through, including a 6+ month break when I had no inspiration at all. She's hated me, badgered me, ignored me, argued with me, and kept me up at night. Regardless, she always came back, and we've grown together. So here's to smashing down many more milestones. This chapter is for Jac.


	30. Telling Tales

"So..."

I looked around at the unexpected word close behind me.

"You're the one making the music, huh?"

Raising an eyebrow at the soldier, I laughed slightly. "I guess you could say that. I'm Heather," I said, offering a hand.

Transferring his grip on his rifle, he shook it.

"Louis — Rick said you don't like titles," he said, eyes glinting. "Y'know, I told everyone that I could hear music. No one believed me."

"Well, you also said you heard mermaids singing on the way down, so forgive us for doubting you," another female voice piped up from my other side.

"Oh, shove off, Collins," Louis sniped. "My grandmother always said—"

"Oh god, if you tell the story one more time, I'm going to shove you off the cliff myself," Collins said, rolling her eyes and flashing a grin. "Let's see your grandma's mermaids save you then."

I bit back my own laugh, grinning as I slid slightly down the hill. We were heading back south, the radio having apparently called the unit back to their base to report fully on what they'd found.

"So you've been out here since the start, huh?" Collins asked, leaving Louis to grumble to himself.

"Close to it, yeah," I said. "I was in the city for the first winter but left pretty soon after. Been up here for about ten years now."

"Why'd you leave the city?" she asked bluntly.

"People suck," I responded in kind.

"Preach," another voice muttered behind me, and I glanced back to see Rick following us.

"Yeah, we all know he sucks," Louis said, earning a laugh from everyone listening, which seemed to be most of the unit.

"C'mon, that's harsh," Collins said.

"You don't have to share bunks with him," Louis said grimly, earning a few conceding grumbles.

"So what do you do up here?" Collins returned to quizzing me.

I shrugged. "Whatever needs to be done. Had an earthquake last autumn, had to repair part of the roof of the gas station. There's always something to fix. Other than that, listen to music, avoid the wildlife."

"The apes?" Her tone was suddenly sharper, the quiet surrounding me deeper.

I shrugged again. "Pretty sure they avoid me. We've had a couple of encounters though."

"How many times have you seen them?"

"A few," I said, frowning into the distance. "More than five, less than ten, probably?"

"How many of them?" Louis asked.

My eyes narrowed. They were all curious. Had they been told to quiz me, or were they genuinely interested?

"It varies. Sometimes just one, sometimes a whole load of them."

"What happens?"

"Most of the time, I look at them, they look back, they leave. That's about it."

"Must be freaky."

I shrugged. "A little. Kinda used to it now. Rather them than a bear, to be honest."

"They don't scare you?"

Another shrug. "They did the first time I saw one. He was bigger than I expected, y'know. I came round the corner and he was just sat there. Turned around and looked right at me then stood up. Properly upright. Starting coming towards me. Don't think I've ever run so fast before in my life."

There were conciliatory murmurs from all around.

"But they've never actually attacked you?"

I thought of the scars on my arm, the evidence of Koba's canines hidden beneath my sleeve. "Nope," I said. "There was a hell of a hullabaloo at the end of last summer though. They went streaming past in the middle of the night, sounded like hundreds of them. I couldn't tell how close they were but... yeah, that freaked me out a little."

Significant glances were exchanged on every side in a deep silence.

Spinning around, I looked from face to face, seeing every pair of eyes avoid mine.

"What?" I demanded.

The soldiers all seemed to look at John, but he was a few steps ahead of us and refused to look back.

"What?" I asked again, impatient.

"That was when the attack on the city happened," Rick said, breaking the silence.

I narrowed my eyes, glancing around in an invitation to keep going.

Louis picked up the story, throwing a quick glance at John's back. "Yeah, so we're still up in Seattle, and then we get this order to scramble. Apparently, there was a call on the radio from San Francisco that they're under attack. The signal was lost almost immediately though." He leaned towards me conspiratorially. "But it's picked up again the next day, and we'd shipping down here almost at once with the Colonel. We all thought the radio transmission was nonsense until we got down here. They were going on about apes attacking, with guns. Who believes that?"

"Someone who believes in mermaids," Collins muttered under her breath.

Louis scowled at her but kept going. "So we'd lost the guy on the radio again, coming down here basically blind..."

"Who was on the radio?" I asked, putting as much curiosity into my tone as I could.

"Couple of guys. Finney, I think one was called. Dreyfus."

"Dreyfus?"

Louis nodded. "You knew him?"

"A little. He was running for mayor before the outbreak, stuck around afterwards. Good leader. Level-headed." _For the most part_ , I added internally.

"Yeah, that's probably him then. But like I said, the radio went quiet. We hadn't heard anything in about a week. So we get down here, sailing into the bay. All seemed quiet." Louis seemed to be almost enjoying telling the story now, hands gesticulating in front of him. "No sign of any apes, but no sign of any people either."

"Why are we letting _him_ tell the story?" the man on the other side of Collins asked of no one in particular, rolling his eyes.

"But," Louis ignored the interruption, raising a finger for dramatic effect, "just as we're approaching the bridge... BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG! Gunshots! There were people on the bridge, shooting."

"At you?" I gasped with almost as much drama as he was putting in.

"Nope," Rick chimed in from behind.

"Hey, who's telling the story?" Louis objected in a normal voice, glaring back at him. With a tut and a shake of his head, he turned back to me. "No, not at us, at something else... something that shoots back..." he raised his eyebrows significantly.

"The apes?"

Louis nodded importantly.

I looked away. "Christ. What were they still doing in the city? Why would they even go down there in the first place?"

Louis shrugged eloquently. "Dunno, but we had a hell of a time pushing them out of there."

"And it didn't get better from there," John finally chimed in, turning to face us on a level patch of ground.

I looked around, blinking as I recognised where we were. It wasn't a level patch of ground – it was the road.

"Guess this is my stop," I said, slipping through the group. I turned back to face them but John stepped closer.

"Do you have a weapon?"

I hesitated, trying to read his face but not deciphering much. Eventually, I nodded, pressing my fingers into my trousers to frame the outline of my gun on my thigh.

"Know how to use it?"

"Passably," I said.

John hesitated, then nodded grimly.

"I'll need to talk to my superiors, but we could really use your help. It would have taken us weeks to find that place without you today. We wouldn't have known where to start."

"Stop exaggerating," I said, then waved him off as he opened his mouth. "Talk to whoever. Like I said, I'm not going anywhere."

Backing away, I threw a casual wave to the rest of them, returned by Rick, Louis, Collins and two others. "Outdoor concerts every fourth day," I called out to them. "Free entry, the DJ may or may not take requests."

There was a smattering of chuckles, a few more nods, and a final searching look from John, then I turned away and stuck my hands into my pockets, not looking back as I headed for home.

I thought over Louis's story on the way back. There was nothing new in there, but a lot missing. It seemed they knew what had happened, but weren't too bothered about _why_ it had happened. Would the truth be enough to sway them, to stop the fighting? I doubted it. A couple of them maybe, but the whole company? The Colonel? No.

Still... maybe it was a place to start, and at the very least, an avenue to consider.

.

.

 **A/N:** Jac's plan is starting to fall into place. And in real life, my plans are starting to fall into place as well. I landed myself a job for after uni this week. Feeling very relieved, and glad I no longer have that pressure hanging over my head. Can I get a congratulations from anyone?


	31. The Plan

I was expecting to have a quiet afternoon, get some weeding done, boil some more water and think everything over, but I wasn't even back yet when my visitor announced himself. The stone clattered across my path and I stopped dead, staring at it for a second before turning and searching the treetops. It didn't take me long to find them, father standing tall, son crouching beside him on the same branch. I grinned broadly, then glanced quickly behind me. The soldiers were most likely long gone, but I wasn't willing to take any risks. I pointed along the road and Caesar nodded, Blue following him quickly as he swung from branch to branch overhead.

With a grin at their easy movements and another glance over my shoulder, I threw caution to the wind and took off running, knowing I would never be able to keep up with them but willing to try anyway.

I blew past the gas station without even pausing and kept going, sure that I was halfway to the sea before I heard the apes descending and slowed, skipping to a halt, hands on my hips. Turning, I tried to see them approaching but they still managed to surprise me, emerging several feet to the side of where I'd expected them.

Blue came knuckling straight up to my side, standing tall to wrap an arm around my neck. I returned his rough hug with a genuine smile, squeezing his shoulder as I looked at his father who waited until we broke apart to approach me. His greeting was more subdued but no less genuine, pressing his forehead to mine as I'd seen him do with Will and Malcolm. My throat clogged and I closed my head as I breathed in his musky smell.

"You got my message," I said as we pulled apart.

He nodded as we turned west and kept walking, all three of us upright, Blue Eyes a few steps behind his father's other soldier.

"It worked?" he asked.

"I think so," I said. "You shouldn't stay too long though, just in case."

Caesar huffed. "Got watchers," he said, jerking his head south. "Will warn us, if they return."

My shoulders relaxed a little as I smiled. "So we have some time?"

Caesar nodded. "We have some time. Tell me, everything."

And I did.

"... so John is going to talk to his superiors, and see what they say, but from what he said..." I was smiling without even realising it. "Caesar, this is huge. This could be better than I'd ever thought."

"They not... recognise you?" Blue asked.

I shook my head. "I don't think so."

"But on the bridge..."

I grinned, running a hand through my short hair. "They saw someone from a distance, with their face covered, and long hair. I had binoculars too, and I couldn't make out _their_ faces. I think I'm okay." I thought of Forest briefly, but it had been dark, my hair had still been long and my face covered. She was a risk I would have to take.

"What about the radio?" Caesar cut into my thoughts.

"Huh?"

"After the missile. You talked on the radio."

I came to a halt in the middle of the road. I'd completely forgotten about that.

 _Have I got your attention now?_

That had been John's father, the Colonel.

Caesar and Blue Eyes were looking at me with concern.

"That was through the radio," I said slowly, looking past them into the trees. "It wasn't clear, and I don't think they would recognise me just from my voice, just from that. Certainly not without a link between me and someone who would have been in the city at that time."

"Too risky," Caesar said, Blue Eyes nodding fervently beside him.

I looked between them and shook my head. "It's too risky _not to_ ," I objected.

Blue looked like he was going to speak but I cut him off with an angry wave of my hand.

"It worked, okay? It has worked. They know that I can contribute something to them. They've seen the value in me. This is a good shot! I know it!"

There was a moment of hesitation when Blue Eyes looked at his father and Caesar looked straight at me.

"You really see this working?" he asked.

Blue looked stricken, but I felt a flare of triumph as I nodded.

"How? Exactly."

"They know that I know the area," I began at once, launching into my vision. "So I tell them the places where I 'think' you might be."

Blue drew back from my air quotes, but Caesar seemed to understand, so I pressed on.

"Even if I couldn't give them that, I can still tell them more than the maps could – where the terrain is good, any clear paths, old trails, anything like that." I paused to take a breath, knowing that this was where I was asking them to take risks. "I'll do my best to go out with them, but even if I don't, I need you guys to be watching me, as much as possible, as closely as possible. I'll pass on anything I can; where the patrols are going to go, how many are going out each day, everything I think you can use. You would always be one step ahead."

There was a long silence. I refused to break it, watching Caesar stare into the distance, thinking hard.

"They would be suspicious if we always weren't where they were," he said eventually, eyes coming back to me.

I bit my tongue, remaining silent. I'd already thought about that, but he needed to make the decision himself. That was the responsibility he'd taken on.

"But if we don't always run..." he said.

I smiled, nodding. "Exactly. If you know when and where they're going to be, you'll still have the advantage." Looking past him, my face fell as I took in Blue's expression. His sharp eyes were fixed on the floor, refusing to look at me.

"We can't keep fighting on their terms," Caesar said, drawing my attention back to him. "Will run out of guns."

I grimaced. "I'll see what I can find out about their ammo situation, and where they're getting supplies if they are. Other than that..." I pulled a face. "Let's make a difference with what we have."

Caesar nodded, eyes fierce. "Okay."

A wide grin split my face. The plan was on.

"There's more," Caesar said and my exhilaration slipped.

Frowning at his serious expression, I waited, wondering what it could possibly be.

"You need to be careful," he said. "Red is still in the area. Others too, who went with him."

For a second, I was lost, transported in memories, remembering the feel of little Cornelius in my arms, huddled against a tree and prayed that we wouldn't be found. I remembered Grey, Koba's ally who had revolted against Caesar, tried to take control of the troop while he was still fighting in the city, and how even Grey had stood against Red at the end. I remembered the sound of gunfire.

"He's still around?" I asked tightly. Red was a far bigger threat to me than the humans were. Even if the soldiers suspected that I was on the apes' side, they would try and get information out of me, and every second I lived was an opportunity. If I ran into Red, I knew that he wouldn't hesitate to kill me. It would be over, permanently.

"Why?" I growled.

Caesar just shook his head and I resisted the urge to rub my face, baring my teeth in an unconscious snarl. Koba I could empathise with, even the soldiers I felt mildly sympathetic towards, but Red... he had tried to kill Cornelia and Munchkin... I hated him for that alone.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed my anger away. "Thanks for the warning," I said, nodding to Caesar. "You be careful too."

His mouth quirked, the same way Will's used to. "Always," he said.

I gave him a small smile, then shifted my focus past him, to where Blue was still avoiding my gaze.

"Blue," I said.

He turned away, presenting me with his shoulder.

"Blue, we've gone through this before," I said quietly.

"Always more," he said roughly. "This, and this, and this. Always another thing."

With a hopeless glance at Caesar, I circled around them both until I was in front of Blue.

 _You help me, give me, everything_ , I signed, watching his eyes follow the movement of my hands. _Now, I give back. I want help you._

It was rough but it seemed to get my meaning across, in the language that he had helped to teach me.

 _You my brother,_ I signed emphatically. _Always._

The look he gave me was hesitant but forgiving.

 _Family_ , he signed.

 _Family,_ I repeated the gesture back to him.


	32. A Deal

My breaths were fast, my heartbeat out in my ears, fingers running incessantly along the seams of my pockets. The feet in front of me didn't falter and I matched my stride to theirs, though I doubted his legs were a numb as mine. Rick rounded a corner and stopped, looking back at me. Swallowing, I moved forwards, acutely aware of my shirt sticking to my back. Emerging from around the sharp turn in the hill, I looked down and my jaw dropped.

There were people _everywhere_. Tents along the top of the beach, figures moving in and out of the buildings closer to us, a group marching up the path towards us.

Instinctively, I stepped backwards, glancing back over my shoulder. I needed somewhere to hide, somewhere to run. They were coming for me. They knew. Dead faces flashed before me, the sound of bodies hitting the ground echoing in my ears. They knew what I'd done, and they were coming every closer, their boots marching to the tune of justice…

The patrol passed us by, several glances thrown my way before they refocused on their true mission, one that had nothing to do with me.

Letting out a long, shaky breath, I looked back at Rick, who was watching me.

"It's been a while since I've been around people," I offered, the excuse sounding weak even to my ears.

"You're not going to puke, are you?" he asked, his voice somewhere between doubtful and amused.

"No!" I snapped, but I did take several deep breaths as I followed him down the rest of the slope into the heart of the soldier's camp. They didn't help.

To distract myself from what I was willingly walking into, I glanced up instead, looking around the top of the dip that the camp sat in. The cover was scarce, but there were enough pockets of trees that I thought the apes could use to get close. As long as they used binoculars, they should be able to see me signing. My problem would be knowing when they were there to receive any information that I had gathered to pass along.

.

.

All too soon, the ground was levelling off and Rick was leading the way towards one of the buildings. Swallowing, I ignored the looks I drew from all sides, feeling my gun on my thigh with every stride. Ducking inside, I blinked quickly, my eyes taking a couple of seconds to adjust to the dimness. Rick was already several strides ahead and I hastened after him, not daring to let myself hesitate. Voices filtered all around, echoing strangely in the half-deserted space, and we quickly homed in on the source. Rick stepped through a doorway and I followed without a hint of regret.

A table dominated the space, spread with a large map. Around it, a range of people looked up at our entrance. John was directly across from us and straightened instantly at my appearance. On either side of him were two other soldiers, one male, one female, who I didn't recognise. Closer to me, standing sideways, was the final person in the room.

At the sudden shift of attention, he turned as well. His uniform was just the same as the others, no marks of his rank, but I knew who he was at once. I would have known just from looking at him.

John had inherited his father's jaw.

"Colonel," I broke the silence, hideously aware of the fact that I had spoken directly to this man over the radio set. If he recognised my voice, I would be dead in seconds.

"So…" he said, but no more words followed. He looked be over, twice.

I returned his gaze, noticing that he was at least an inch shorter than I was. I had to clench my jaw to keep from smiling at that observation.

"Thank you, Stephens," the colonel said, turning properly and leaning back on the table as he watched me.

Rick glanced at me once on the way out.

Left standing alone, I was careful not to look at John. The colonel's stare had nothing on Caesar's and I held it impassively.

"So," he repeated. "You're the one?"

"'The one'?" I snorted. "Never been called that before."

The silence stretched, deepening with every second.

Irritated, I crossed my arms, looking deliberately at John. His face was blank—I knew he wasn't on my side in this group—but I hoped he understood the look I sent him. This wasn't what I'd signed up for. It was a silent reminder that I could walk away.

He didn't have to know that my plan depended on me staying here.

"You've encountered the apes, I'm told," the colonel said.

I looked back at him, trying to hide my relief. "I heard you encounter them too," I shot back, without uncrossing my arms. "Guns don't keep secrets."

The colonel stood up straight, moving over to the wall and looking out the window, staring north. "From what my son tells me your assistance was invaluable in locating one of their old camps."

Holding my silence, I waited.

"We could use more soldiers who know—"

"I'm not a soldier," I cut across him, drawing all eyes.

The colonel turned slowly, the light behind him sending his face into shadow as he looked at me.

"I'm not a soldier," I repeated.

Crossing the space between us, the colonel glared at me. I thought it was a bad move on his part – it merely served to emphasis the height difference between us, a contest he would always lose.

"Then you shouldn't be here," he said, firm but completely calm. "This is a war. If you can't follow orders, you're a liability."

I blinked slowly. "I'm an asset," I said bluntly. "One you don't have a replacement for. I've been here for _ten years_. You haven't even been here ten weeks. I know the mountains, I know the terrain, and I know the apes."

His gaze didn't waver, but nor did mine.

"I'll pitch in, I'll help where I can. I'll tell you what I know, and I'll do what I can. But I'm not going to fall in like a mindless sheep. I'm not here to jump and click my heels when you snap your fingers. _You_ asked _me_ for help."

"I didn't ask you for anything."

"You, collective plural," I clarified, unimpressed.

We stared at each other for another minute, both determined not to be the one to break the silence.

"You cause problems, you're gone," he said eventually.

I tried not to smile but failed. To cover, I dipped my head to the side, making it a respectful expression, rather than a triumphant one.

"Fair enough," I allowed.

Rather than answer, the colonel stepped aside, gesturing with his arm to the table in the centre of the room, and the map upon it. Moving up to the edge, I glanced once at John before examining the surface, eyes darting over a multitude of coloured pins.

"Blue is evidence of the apes, red is an encounter, green is no signs," the unknown female said, and I nodded my thanks.

The blue was most prominent, unsurprisingly. The apes had been moving across this land a lot recently, it was unsurprising that they had left signs. A single isolated pin drew my attention, but I quickly recognised it as the old camp I had taken them to the previous day.

Red was in evidence too, splashed across the map in almost every space, but without a time reference to see when each encounter had taken place, they didn't mean much to me. However, the spread of the pins showed me exactly how far north the soldiers had ventured.

"What's the goal?" I asked. "They're out of the city, how far north are you planning to push them?"

There was a heavy silence. I looked first to John, then back at his father.

"We're not pushing them anywhere," the colonel said, face unreadable. "We're here to put an end to them. All of them."

Dropping my eyes back to the table, I stared straight through the colours, feeling my jaw clench.

"That's genocide," I said quietly.

"They're not human," the female soldier said.

"They're smart, they're strong, and they're far better adapted than we are to live in the world today," the colonel said, before I could respond.

 _That's the scary thing about them. They don't need power,_ _light, heat. Nothing. That's their advantage. That's what makes them stronger._

I blinked away the memory of Foster's words.

"Given enough time, if they survive… we won't. When something stronger comes along, the weak get replaced. It's happened before."

 _Yeah, it's called evolution._

"We survived when the Neanderthals didn't," he continued, oblivious to my inner commentary.

 _And I wonder if the Neanderthals thought they could fight it too._

"We're not just fighting against the apes. We're fighting for human survival."

I glanced up at him again, seeing the fever in his eyes.

Finally, I looked across at John. He held my gaze with an unreadable expression until I looked away, back at his father. Slowly, I nodded.

"Alright," I said. The single word was a death sentence.

.

.

A/N: Finally face to face. I hope you enjoyed, leave me a review and let me know what you thought!


	33. Integration

Darkness was threatening when I emerged from the building, my eyes tired from the hours pouring over the map, my voice hoarse from talking more than I had in the past several months. For a moment, I stood, barely aware of the sun dropping towards the ocean or the soldiers moving purposefully around me.

"Ma'am?"

Jumping, I turned quickly.

"Are you Heather?" It was a young woman, her blond hair instantly reminding me of Archer, though she was even younger than Lily, and her hair was far tamer. "I mean, of course, you are," she laughed nervously, "no new faces around here, ma'am. Plus, no uniform."

She reached out, as if to touch my arm, then withdrew her hand quickly.

"Yeah, I'm Heather," I said, bemused by the sudden outpouring of chirpy words.

"I'm supposed to set you up with a bunk."

"Hi 'supposed to set me up with a bunk', how are you doing?"

She laughed again, the sound shrill and even more unexpected. "Oh… I'm sorry. I'm Amy, Amy Dawkins. Private Dawkins. Everyone calls me 'Scope' though."

"Breathe," I reminded her.

She laughed again, then took an exaggerated breath.

"Sorry," she said, giving a quirky smile. "It's just, everyone's been talking about you." She led the way west, past the permanent buildings toward a score of tents along the dunes at the top of the beach.

"You're shitting me."

"No, ma'am." Her southern accent was becoming more pronounced now that her speech was less rushed.

"Why?"

"Everyone likes something new to talk about, I guess," she said brightly, ducking inside one of the tents. "So, this is where us ladies are set up. We're a little outnumbered, as you'll soon notice, I'm sure, but I think that just means we get more space."

I half tuned her out as she kept talking, looking down the long tent. It was a simple set up; bedrolls set directly on the floor on both sides on a central aisle. My enthusiastic guide was right about the number of women, there were only 12 bedrolls laid out on the floor, four of them currently occupied.

"God, Scope, she doesn't need the entirety of our collective biographies," Collins said, rolling her eyes as she winked at me.

Scope barely slowed in her speech, simply switching topics at lightning speed. "So, there are spare rolls just there, obviously we have enough space, you can ask people to budge up if you really like, but we're pretty settled. Obviously, they would move for you but that's your choice. I personally would—"

"Scope, go see what Ricky is up to," Collins interrupted.

Scope snapped to attention at once and left the tent in a flap of canvas.

I blinked.

There was a moment of silence, then a ripple of laughter from the 4 other women.

"You looked like you needed a break," Collins said simply.

I blinked again. "I…" I let out a gusty breath. "I don't think I've heard that many words in one go for… well, a long time."

"She can be a handful," one of the other women allowed.

"Is there a 'speed' dial? Slow it down a bit?"

"We're more interested in a 'mute' button," Collins said wryly. "Luckily, she doesn't talk in her sleep. Bedrolls are there," she added, nodding to the corner behind me. "It's good to have you with us," she continued as I grabbed one and headed down the aisle towards her and the others. "You met the Colonel?"

It was barely a question, but I nodded anyway.

"And?"

I hesitated. "He's… intense."

"Ah, well. You survived," one of the others said.

"Barely," I muttered, prompting a few more snorts of laughter.

"Did he?" Collins asked.

"Barely," a dry voice said from the entrance.

We all looked up and I recognised the woman who'd been in the room with us for said meeting.

"What did you do?" Collins asked me, apparently intrigued.

The other woman answered before I could. "Tells him she's not one of his soldiers, and exactly where he can stuff his orders."

There was a loaded silence.

"I didn't phrase it like _that_ ," I objected, in the silence.

"Wow. Barely indeed."

"A note for the psych eval – problems with authority."

Rolling my eyes, I turned away, hiding my grin as I opened up my bedroll and kicked it roughly into place at the end of the line.

"I have a question," I said, once the mirth had settled somewhat. "Why did Scope say that everyone's been talking about me?"

There was a moment of silence as glances were exchanged all around the tent. Jaw clenched, I waited, looking from face to face.

"Let's just say that the last time we found someone who'd been on their own since the beginning, they weren't exactly in the best state."

"Meaning?" I asked in trepidation.

"They were batshit crazy," Collins clarified.

Looking between the wary expressions, I couldn't help but laugh. "I solemnly swear not to kill you in your sleep."

"You're welcome to try," one of the others snorted.

I laughed again, the sound more genuine than it had been in a long time.

As we bedded down for the night, I closed my eyes with a smile that became fixed in the darkness. This might be more dangerous for me than I'd anticipated, but for an entirely different reason.

.

.

It was an early start the next morning, the dawn light coming as a surprise. I'd slept better than I'd excepted, since that I hadn't slept with anyone else so close since Lily had left. The thought sent a shard of pain through my chest and I turned my thoughts away, back to my mission. The first part was over; I'd made suggestions of possible routes the soldiers could explore, pointed out places the apes could be, all false of course. The hard part would be now communicating that information to the apes.

If I'd known where the soldiers had already been, and what their intel was like, I could have pre-planned locations with Caesar, but I'd been improvising and adapting ever since I saw the map with the coloured pins. I trusted that the apes would be watching me, I just needed an opportunity. Fortunately, one was soon made for me.

.

.

"Civilian!"

We all looked around as we exited the tent, the other women ahead of me glancing around as well before continuing. The call wasn't for them. Stepping to the side, I looked over the man waiting, arms crossed.

He was tall, even taller than me, with a hard face and sharp chin, emphasised by a short-cropped dark beard.

"With me," he ordered, having given me a once over just as I examined him. Turning away, he strode off down towards the water.

I raised a scathing eyebrow at his back, then followed, keeping a respectable distance between us.

Halfway down the beach, he turned to face me, feet planted in the sand, wiped smooth by the night tide.

"Any military experience?" he asked brusquely.

"No," I replied.

His eyes narrowed. "No, sir."

"Like I said," I matched his glare. " _No_."

We stared at each other.

"Clearly no experience with respect either," he sneered.

Something in my chest tightened with anger. _He's just baiting you_ , I told myself, forcing calmness to my voice.

"I give as much respect as I am given," I said. "Soldier."

He finally gave a tight, humourless smile. "Any experience with guns?"

"Some, nothing official."

"Hand to hand combat?"

"Yes."

The eyebrow rose again.

I didn't react.

"Alright. Show me what you can do."

Taken aback, I blinked. "Here?"

"Are you afraid to get sand in your hair?"

My hair was such a state it probably would have been improved with some sand, but I didn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me scowl. Instead, I simply reached into my pocket and pulled out my gun. His eyes followed the movement closely as I checked that it was unloaded and put it down carefully on the sand. Then I returned to stand a few paces away and waited.

Neither of us moved.

"I'm waiting, civilian."

"I was told, in no uncertain terms, not to make trouble. Initiating an attack could be construed as making trouble."

"Not following orders is guaranteed to be taken as making trouble."

I opened my mouth, trying to formulate a response. I'd gotten as far as something about not taking chances when he moved.

Instinct and the tension in my muscles sent me dancing backwards, out of the reach of his lunge. He gave me a scathing look as he returned to his original position.

Grinding my teeth, I returned to mine as well. _You bastard,_ I thought at him, as if he could hear the words. _You were just distracting me_. I wasn't going to let it happen again. I was ready now and watching him closely.

He moved again.

I spun, letting the jab towards my stomach go past me, grabbing his wrist, twisting hard. He rolled his hand before I could secure my grip, pulling out from my fingers. In an instant, he'd reversed the grab, snatching my left wrist, but I was ready for that. Clapping my right hand over his to prevent another retreat, I wound my left hand around the outside of his forearm, gripped hard, and twisted my hand over.

Giving to the pressure on his joints, he dropped to his knees and I felt a flare of triumph. It was forced out of me as his other hand came up, hitting straight into my stomach.

Staggering backwards, I released him as I gagged, curling over at the pain. He wasn't pulling any punches. Nor was he willing to wait, coming after me again already. I retreated further, but he was faster. One hand grabbed my knee, lifting as the other shoved my shoulder and we went over together, him on top. My head hit the sand as his weight came down on top of me and his free hand found my throat.

No time to think, I acted. He was still holding my knee up and I extended my leg, my foot coming into view behind his head. Reaching up, I grabbed my ankle and heaved my leg down with everything I had, smashing my other hand into the elbow in front of my face as I did so. The impact threw his balance, whilst my weight and momentum of my leg threw us both over. Now I was on top.

Spinning around, I pinned one elbow with my foot, leaning my knee into his neck, my other knee holding his other arm down. He tried to knee me in the back, but I grabbed his leg, working my grip along to his foot and twisting until he grimaced. He held for a second longer, then tapped his hand twice onto the sand.

I rolled away immediately, only stopping when I was out of reach, watching him warily for another attack. None came, but he nodded as he rolled to his feet, brushing the sand off his uniform with brisk motions.

"Good enough," he allowed, as I rose to my feet with far less grace. "Bring that," he said, nodding to my gun, "and come with me."

Hands shaking slightly, I retrieved my gun, shoving it into my pocket and following him north. It was quiet down here, most of the activity confined to the buildings over the ridge. In fact, there was no one else close by at all, those in the distance busy going about their business. Glancing at the back of the man I was following to check he wasn't looking back, I shot a brief look at the rise ahead, and the patches of trees, and began to sign.

It was probably the roughest signing ever, held back by my limited vocabulary and the tightness of my movements, trying not to draw attention. Regardless, I did my best, and just hoped it got the information across.

By the time we reached the north end of the beach, I'd repeated my message three times, letting the apes know the places I'd suggested the soldiers go to. Now it was down to them, to Caesar, to handle the information.

I had another job to do and turned my full attention back to it as the soldier spun to face me, arms crossing again in what seemed to be his preferred stance.

"Alright then," he said, "let's see if your aim is any better than your punches."

.

He watched me empty the entire clip of my pistol into the rough target drawn into the side of the cliff, then handed me an assault rifle. I took it gingerly and with no small amount of discomfort. This was the weapon that the soldiers used, and I couldn't shake the thought that, holding one, I was no different from them. Another human with a gun.

"Today, civilian," his voice reminded me, and I shook myself, glancing around to see him refilling the clip of my pistol. He raised an expectant eyebrow, nodding down the makeshift range. Swallowing, I lifted the heavy rifle, aimed with shaking hands, and fired.

.

After several more snide remarks referencing my lack of military rank, I finally snapped back at him, demanding to be called by my name. He obliged once, to which I responded with his title, Captain Anderson, but he quickly reverted back to calling me 'civilian'. I continued to reply with 'soldier' every time he did.

After I was finished with the rifle, my performance with which Anderson did not comment on, he started to lead the way back up the beach. We hadn't gone two steps when a snap, whistle, thud, and a disturbance in the air ahead of us made up both pull up sharply. I looked left first, where the thud had sounded and saw an arrow quivering in a thick board of wood, stunningly close to the centre, marked with a black circle. Turning my head the other way, I saw a young man lowering a crossbow, looking stricken.

"Dismissed," Anderson growled at me, before stalking over to the young soldier. His shouting about always checking the range followed me all the way up the beach and over the ridge. Grimacing though I recognised, and agreed with, his point, I glanced around. It was still early, and I didn't have anything else to do. Part of me wanted to snoop around the camp a bit, but it was too early for me to be able to get away with being caught. I needed to get deeper in.

 _Because you're not deep enough?_

I shrugged off the snide voice, which had unhelpfully taken on Koba's tone, and wandered along the edge of the camp, thinking. The higher ranks were going to be the hardest, but surely there had to be something that could get me into the good books of the rest of the soldiers. Any one of them might become crucial later on. I just needed something to offer, to integrate myself a little further…

An idea came to me, and I smiled. It was too easy. I'd joked about it already, hadn't I? _Outdoor concerts every fourth day_. Time to make good on the promise.


	34. Outdoor Concert

I was intercepted, not unwelcomely, on my way across the camp, by an unexpected follower. Scope practically skipped up to my side before hesitating. I smiled, keeping my lips firmly together to hide my teeth from habit rather than necessity now I was among humans again.

"Hi," I offered when she continued to seem unsure. She practically beamed at the invitation to converse.

"Hello," she said at once. "Where are you going? Can I help you with anything? Do you need something?"

I laughed a little at the outpouring of eager words. "I'm heading up out of here," I said. "Got some stuff to collect. You can come if you want to."

She visibly perked up, then seemed to wilt again, biting her lip. "You're going now?"

"That's the plan," I said, instantly alert but trying to remain casual. "I can wait a few minutes for you though?"

"Please! I mean, if you're sure you don't mind."

Chuckling, I shook my head. "I'll walk slowly. Catch me up."

She raced away at once, a jog that seemed to carry her much faster than her short legs justified. I turned away, resuming my path with less urgency, as promised. With my dawdling pace, it was only a few minutes before her quick footsteps came up beside me.

"This way," she said, barely out of breath as she slowed to a determined walk, striding towards. "I got us use of one of the jeeps."

Which also meant someone knew I was leaving the camp. I didn't object to their knowledge, and indeed I was surprised they had approved it. Somehow, I doubted it had been the Colonel who had given their approval.

Scope skipped up to a vehicle and put their hand on the handle, but I slapped my palm over the door, holding it closed.

"I don't think so," I snorted. "I'm driving."

She looked momentarily put out.

"I know where I'm going," I pointed out, thinking that the argument that she was too young to have been driving before the world fell apart might not go down too well. I wondered vaguely what constituted a driving test for the soldiers. In the colony, youngsters had been taken to a fairly empty street with an older guardian and spent an afternoon trying not to hit things before being set loose.

Conceding to my point, Scope handed over the keys and darted around to the other side of the truck. Seconds later, we were off, speeding away, air streaming through the slightly open windows.

"How come you're not out with the others?" I asked, waving a hand at the passing scenery.

Scope shrugged, picking at her fingers. "On an off rotation," she muttered, shooting me sideways looks. "What happened to your hand?" she blurted out.

I looked down at my own left hand, the shortened finger less jarring to me now after half a year of living with it.

"There must be a story to go with that," Scope continued, then blushed as I looked at her. "Sorry. I mean, if you don't want to…"

"It's… ah… It got shot off," I said. "I got in the middle of some messy business, early on, and… yeah." I rubbed the offending digit with my thumb. "This is what I got out of it."

"Messy business?" Scope pushed.

I deliberately waited, jaw clenching as I stared out of the windscreen. "Hate-groups. I lost my sister at the same time."

"I'm sorry," she said, voice more reserved.

I shrugged, still not looking at her, letting the hard silence stretch for a few moments. "So, Scope," I said eventually, emphasising the nickname as I gave her a small, calculated glance. "There's got to be a story to go with that."

She grinned again, awkwardness forgotten. "I guess. The scope of my rifle got broken during my assessment at the end of training in Seattle. It was completely shattered. I pulled it off and kept going, got one of the highest scores in the group. People kept saying I was my own scope, and it just stuck."

"Wow," I said, impressed and letting it show. An excellent shot then, but also an easy talker. Maybe with a little encouragement, she could reveal plenty of things. I certainly had the time, and a wide range of fabricated stories to exchange with her.

.

.

The excursion took longer than I'd anticipated, and the sun was sinking fast when Scope and I returned to the camp, the truck noticeably heavier than it had been. Parking swiftly, we exchanged grins as she grabbed a mid-sized box from the back of the car and I heaved the significantly bulkier and heavier load onto my hip, hugging it tightly to my body as we set off through the camp. My goal was the beach, but I was regretting it by the time we were halfway there, and my shoulders were aching abominably. Only my pride and the eyes upon me kept me moving.

"What are you doing?" a familiar voice asked with amused curiosity, and I looked around.

"Fulfilling a promise," I told Louis, grinning as if my arms weren't about to pop out of their sockets.

"Meaning?"

"Come down to the beach and you'll see."

He made a face, shrugged, and fell in behind me. Word seemed to spread quickly, and soon we had quite the crowd following us.

About halfway down the beach, I dumped my load into the sand, barely refraining from dropping it, bending my knees halfway before my fingers gave out.

The crowd spread themselves around, milling about and murmuring to each other as Scope deposited her box beside me and took a step back. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her hands twisting together as she watched me.

With so many people watching, I put the coiled cable aside and instead plugged in the little powerpack that had been contributing most of the weight to Scope's box. It wouldn't last long, but it would do for a couple of songs, long enough to satisfy the crowd and give me time to get the cable set up to switch them over.

Giving a quick glance to the crowd, I flicked through the cases in the box. There were many possibilities in my mind that I'd been saving up for this, but what to go with first?

Selection made, I flipped open the case and slipped the disc carefully into place. The silence was spreading now, the soldiers watching my actions with sharp anticipation.

The sound of a guitar filled the evening air over a beach in the Bay Area for the first time in more than a decade. Music, clear and simple, brought gasps from mouths and tears to eyes in the stunned crowd. I cranked the volume up higher, an unbidden grin turning the corners of my own mouth upwards as I watched their reactions with genuine pleasure as the vocals kicked in.

 _Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you_

 _By now, you should've somehow realised what you gotta do_

The variation in their reactions was wide. Some stood, struck dumb, either staring at me, or the music player, or eyes closed with their faces turned to the sky. Other grabbed at each other, grinning and laughing.

The drums kicked in, and whoops filled the air, grown men reverting to children as they jumped around, spinning in wide circles.

" _Because maybe…"_

The words rose from every throat around me, the original lost under the sudden mob of singers, emptying their lungs to the night air without a thought for propriety or decorum. With a wide grin, I had no qualms about joining in, my lack of singing ability not acknowledged in even the deepest corners of my mind.

" _You're gonna be the one that saves me…_ "

We sang like we didn't care.

.

In the brief pause after the first rendition of the chorus, there were shouts for me to turn it up even further. I obliged, turning the volume up almost to the max. When I looked up again, three figures were emblazoned on the ridge. I recognised John's profile at once and deduced it to be his father beside him. The third figure was new to me but they bounded down the slope quickly enough to join in with what was fast becoming something between a party and a riot on the beach.

The colonel spoke some quick words in his son's ear then turned away, disappearing quickly down the other side of the ridge. John remained where he was and with the lights from the camp behind him, I couldn't discern his expression though I was sure his eyes were upon me.

Silencing my own voice, I returned his gaze, weight on one leg as I waited for his reaction. His head turned away and for a second, my heart sank. However, the new angle threw light on his face, and I saw a smile gracing it for an instant before he started forwards towards the crowd. My answering grin frightened me in its intensity and the genuine feeling that prompted it.

Before I'd come here, I'd be so certain of everything. I'd had a plan, and known exactly how to execute it. I was to infiltrate the enemy. Now everything was becoming muddled. Were they the enemy, or just people, no different from myself? Did I move forwards or back?

John pushed his way through the crowd, giving me a slightly rueful grin as the song reached its conclusion. His father's words echoed in my ear.

 _We're here to put an end to them. All of them._

My jaw clenched momentarily. Forwards. Forcing a smile, I moved to greet John amid shouted requests for the next song.

.

.

Eventually, after a roaring driftwood bonfire was blazing and I'd passed custody of the CDs to Scope, I wandered a little further away, moving along the beach until the firelight was a distant glow, and the music soft enough to allow conversation. John was right on my heels, but allowed the quiet to grow as I stopped facing out to sea, watching the moon reflect on the rolling water.

"This is…" he said after a long few minutes, the sound of Queen wafting over us. "I thought this was lost to us forever. Music. Who could have known what would survive this long? Thank you."

I glanced sideways at his earnest tone and found his eyes upon me. Their gaze sent an inexplicable pang of anguish through my stomach. It was more painful than the bruises from my short wrestling match earlier. Looking away again, I let him continue.

"Thank you for giving this back to us. It makes a difference. Truly."

I didn't know how to respond, so I let the music and the sound of the waves fill the air until an appropriate amount of time had passed.

"How did it go," I asked, my voice a little hoarse from the singing, as I nodded back towards the forest, "out there?"

John was all business at once, his gaze sharpening, lines on his brow deepening.

"Engagement on all fronts," he summarised.

"And the outcomes?" I asked, stared fixedly ahead.

"Varied, but the majority in our favour."

I was silent, my mind caught in imagining what that could mean.

"You're not pleased," John observed.

Going still, I thought quickly. I couldn't admit to the affirmative after being so obvious about my doubts in the initial confrontation with his father. A change of topic then. Making a quick decision, I blinked, crossing my arms.

"Is it enough? To win like this?"

"What do you mean?"

I let the silence lengthen. "I want to ask you something, something that has been on my mind for a while, and I want the truth."

He didn't respond, though I could feel his eyes still on me, see his profile in my peripheral vision.

"There was a second ship. Other than the first big one. It arrived a while later. They crashed, and it exploded." The music couldn't dispel the tension that rose between us. "What was on that ship?"

There was a very long pause.

"You…"

"I was there," I said bitterly when he trailed off. "I was up on the headland. I saw it." Staring straight ahead, I felt my hands ball into fists. "The wind carried the smoke north for a while. Right towards me."

I heard his breathing falter.

"I was puking blood for a week," I said. "I was partially blind for months." Now I turned to face him, knowing that the fire would illuminate my face. "What was on that ship?"

"I'm sorry, Heather, that—"

"What was on that ship?" I cut across him. I hated hearing him call me by that name.

John hesitated but I didn't falter.

"We'd made contact with a settlement further south," he said. "They had a cache of gas…"

I didn't wait to hear any more, turning and walking away from him along the beach. I was shaking. I'd guessed as much a long time ago, but to hear him confirm with, and without a hint of apology in his tone… It was another layer of pain.

Turning again, I walked back to where he stood unmoving, face unreadable. Stopping in front of him, I stared into his blue eyes with no idea what to say.

"It was only as a last resort," he said. "It might never have come to that."

"You don't have that sort of thing, don't bring it in, unless you plan to use it," I growled.

"And that's a problem?"

"I was a chemist!" I spat. "I know what that sort of stuff can do." There was a pause when I regretted my words. Too much truth.

"They're not human."

"They weren't the only ones up there," I said coldly.

John took a step closer. "What do you want me to say?" he asked, and there was an undercurrent of anger in his tone now.

"I want you to say," I said, weighing every word, "that you don't have any more."

"This is war. We're at war! What difference do the methods make?"

 _Because they deserve a chance to be able to fight back._

 _Because it should be fairer than that._

 _Because if that's how you win, you don't deserve to._

"It makes a difference," I said.

John took another step closer, his face gentler now. "There isn't any more. It won't happen again." His gaze wandered past me, out to the sea. "I was on the north end of the bridge when it happened. My men and I were nearly caught up in it too." His eyes returned to me and it struck me how very close we were standing. "I'm sorry, very sorry, that you were."

Stepping backwards quickly, I turned away from him.

"It's done," I said brusquely.

"Anderson cleared you for duty," John said as I made to walk away. "You're out with one of the units tomorrow."

I nodded as I headed back towards the crowd. In reality, I wasn't going towards them at all; I was running from what was behind me.


	35. Blood Given

The next few days passed without notable incidents. I plugged the stereo into a power outlet, giving the battery pack a break, and it quickly became necessary as the evening concerts became a daily occurrence. Soon the soldiers were requesting more music than I had brought back down with me. Scope was sent to fetch more since, as John had promised, I was now heading out with the various units each day. I took great care to never be placed under John's command, avoiding him as much as I could. Despite my best efforts, I still seemed to see him everywhere, and his sharp gaze haunted me through my waking hours and even late into the night.

Being out in the forest made it both easier and harder to message to the apes. I knew they would have to be mobile to observe my messages, so I repeated them as often as I could get away with it. However, being the one more familiar with the terrain, and often having suggested the route we would take, I would lead the group for at least the first few hours. As long as I kept my movements casual and steady, I was able to sign without drawing too much attention.

Twice when I was out in the forest, we engaged with the apes. I dutifully added my gunfire to the rest of them but I was exceptionally cautious with where I aimed, and both times fell in quickly with the order to retreat. Pre-armed with my knowledge of the soldiers' movements, the apes finally had a distinct upper hand, and Caesar used it to its full advantage.

There was one other piece of information that I managed to gather that became useful; the method by which the soldiers received more supplies. From overheard snippets of conversation, some snooping around, and a little extra vigilance, I found that small powerboats were shuttling up and down the coast, carrying food, ammunition, and other supplies to the soldiers, arriving roughly every two days. I passed the discovery along with my usual report of troop placement and waited. Sure enough, the next boat arrived just as predicted, but the one after that seemed to mysteriously go astray and suddenly the apes were a lot freer with their bullets. It was a mystery that seemed destined to remain unsolved. When asked for my opinion I frowned, chewing my lip, and waffled a bit about the tricky and shifting coastline. Earthquakes had dislodged a number of rockfalls over the years, making the coastal water treacherous. It wasn't the best explanation, and the Colonel made no comment when I offered it, but I felt his eyes on me as I left the room.

Everything was going almost completely to plan, so of course, that was when it all went wrong.

.

.

The medical facility in the camp always put me in mind of the Igloo back at the colony. The white plastic sheets that had given the latter its name were nowhere to be found, but the rows of beds were eerily similar, and the smell of antiseptic was unmistakable. My outdoor concerts had fulfilled their purpose, and I was met by nods and friendly expressions on all sides as I hurried towards the bright, south-facing room.

Pushing through the doors, I made my way down the aisle and deposited my burden of clean bandages in their designated spot. On my way back down the room, I paused beside an occupied bed, shaking my head at the man upon on it, his foot propped up, thigh heavily swaddled in bandages.

"So much for 'up in no time', soldier?" I commented.

Anderson scowled, his beard slightly longer than usual, adding to the severity of the expression. "Doctor's order, civilian," he grumbled. "But give me half a chance," he added in a mutter.

"Try it again and I'll tie you to that bed," said the medic two beds along, without looking up.

I laughed at the murderous look Anderson gave them.

"Incoming!"

The shout from outside, indicating the arrival of a serious case, raised every head, and someone close to the door jumped forwards to pull it open. Rick heaved himself through the door, his face a sharp contrast between pale skin and bright red blood. He was supporting a body over his shoulder. My stomach dropped, eyes drawn to the trail of blood droplets that marked his path.

"Here," one of the medics said, immediately gesturing him to the closest free bed.

Rick deposited his burden as indicated, the limp head lolling to the side. I was several steps closer without realised I'd moved.

It was John. Face pale, eyes closed, the entire top half of his uniform soaked with blood.

The world seemed to tilt and I was left with locked knees, trying to stay upright as darkness threatened the edge of my vision, though the centre remained painfully clear. I watched in unnatural silence as his jacket and shirt were cut away, revealing a smooth chest smeared with red, and two bullet holes, one high under his shoulder, the other to the side of his abdomen.

"—and he'll need blood, as much as possible."

Sound faded in slowly, almost as slowly as the blood was pumping from the wounds.

"He's O-neg," Rick said from a few steps back.

"Get Lucas and Miator," the medic said.

"Lucas gave to Shah an hour ago and Miator went out," someone else objected.

"Then find out if she's back!" came the snappish reply.

"I'll do it," I said. "I'm O-negative."

"Clean?" the medic asked.

"Yes," I said, glancing up and finding Rick's eyes on me. His jaw was clenched, no doubt from worry.

"Sit there."

I followed the instruction, planting myself on the neighbouring bed. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rick's mouth open suddenly, but then he looked at John and closed it again. I barely felt the wipe of a wet cloth over my arm or the aching sting of the needle. All my attention was focused on the next bed and the man dying upon it.

.

.

The surgery seemed to take forever. Screens were propped up between them and the rest of the room so I couldn't even watch to check that John was still breathing. Rick remained, leaning against the bed opposite mine, shrugging off all attempts to treat the graze to his arm.

"What happened?" I asked at one point.

He looked at me, his expression more closed off than I'd ever seen it, and merely shook his head.

Looking away, I worried silently.

Eventually, the screens came down to reveal John, wrapped in bandages, still pale but breathing. The first lot of my blood was already seeping into his veins, as a second batch was drained from my arm.

I watched him for another inordinate amount of time until the doors swung open, and the Colonel strode inside, his expression grave. For several seconds, he stared down at his unconscious son. Then, with a clenched jaw, he turned, scanning the room. His gaze fell on Rick, who seemed to have been waiting, and nodded once. The colonel's scowl deepened even further. Wheeling about, his eyes found me and I winced, only partially due to the medic currently removing the needle from my arm.

"Pressure on that," the medic instructed me, guiding my fingers to the nook of my arm. I did as they instructed, but couldn't help thinking that I was about to be under a lot more pressure, judging by the colonel's expression.

"You did this," he said, and his voice was milder by far than his face.

"What?"

"You did this," he repeated, with more of a growl.

"No, I didn't," I pulled back a little, searching his face for an explanation.

"You told us where to go."

"I made _suggestions_ , of where I _thought_ might be effective. Nothing more."

"He didn't follow your suggestion," the colonel said.

I went quiet, eyes flicking toward John.

"Ever since you started sharing your thoughts, we'd been on the back foot. The apes are never where you say they will be. Plenty of evidence, and conveniently fresh, but nothing more. And they always seem ready to hit us.

"Today, my son didn't follow your suggestion. Stephens, tell her what you found."

"The apes," Rick said, and his eyes were terrifyingly hard as he stared at me. "They were watching the path you told us to go on, before we'd gone there. Waiting for us. Lieutenant McCullough took a bullet trying to get his men under cover and another as we retreated. More than 70% of our men died," his eyes flashed, "including Private Dawes."

"Scope," I whispered. The pain was like a punch to the gut. Scope, who had been so nervous and so sweet. Scope, who had helped me set up the record player. Scope, dead.

"They knew where we were going," the colonel said and I swallowed down my tears as I looked up at him. "Not one of my men would give that information up, under any circumstances. That only leaves one person."

Every eye in the room was upon me now.

"Do you deny it?" the colonel asked.

I swung my legs off the bed and stood up. All around the room, hands went to weapons.

"I deny it," I said, as loudly as I could, never taking my eyes from the colonel.

"You didn't pass information to the apes?"

"I did not."

We glared at each other.

Eventually, the colonel turned again, and my shoulders sagged instantly.

"Stephens, escort her to the east block. I want two men outside the door at all times."

"Yes, sir," Rick said, standing up despite the blood covering his jacket and stood, watching me impassively. I glanced once around the room, taking in the hard faces, Anderson's narrowed gaze, and then looked back at John. My fault. No matter how I denied it, it was true. And they were going to kill me for it.

.

.

Rick didn't say a word as he followed me through the camp, except to direct me left or right towards our destination. On my part, I was equally silent vocally, but the first two knuckles of my hands were twisting against each other the entire walk. Hopefully, a simple nervous gesture to any of the soldiers watching, but to the apes, if they were even watching, a message; ' _problem'_.

It wasn't a long walk, but it felt like an eternity. Every glance my way seemed to be more loaded than before. Inside a single-story building close to the centre of the camp, Rick directed me to stop, then opened the door in the wall behind me. I turned, glancing inside as I did. It was small, with two small windows set with meshed glass. A suitable prison cell.

I didn't enter but stood, staring at Rick instead. "It's not true," I said, my first verbal words since leaving the medical site.

He didn't reply, just jerked his head inside, hand on his gun.

I walked into the room, and the door closed firmly behind me.

For several seconds, I just stood there, trying to process it all. Surely this wasn't real? Surely not. It hadn't happened. It could not have happened.

With a sigh, I walked over to the wall and sat down, feeling the ache in my arm where I'd given my blood to keep John alive. It was real. It was happening. And I was going to die for it.

It took what felt like an hour for the shock to subside, and I was left with a dejected anger at myself. Why couldn't I have kept my mouth shut about my blood-type being a match for his? Why couldn't he have been AB-positive, able to receive blood from anyone? Why hadn't I been able to put my feelings aside, to look objectively at the situation? And why did everyone around me end up either driven away or dead? Sophie, Denny, Archer, Scope, John. Who would be next?

Leaving my head back against the wall, I watched the light fading from the windows. It would be dark soon, and then I would make my move. I had to get out as soon as possible, before the news of my accusation could spread. Once it was dark, and most of the soldiers were down on the beach for the music, I would make my move. Until then, I had nothing to do but stew on my own thoughts.

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It was possibly the longest afternoon of my life, including the days right after the outbreak, and the time Blue Eyes and I had snuck into the city whilst it was under Koba's control. I thought a lot about them both, as well as many others. Caesar and Will were never far from my thoughts either and I wondered over and over again if we could have done anything differently.

Once it was too dark for me to be able to clearly see the other side of the room, I got to my feet and began to pace, working the stiffness out of my muscles as I waited. Despite the distance from the building to the beach, I was sure that I'd be able to hear the music from here. That would be my signal.

I paced back and forth across the room, flexing my hands by my sides. When the last hint of light faded from the window, my steps slowed and stopped. There was no music. Of course there wasn't. They wouldn't want to partake in anything I had given them now. It was all tainted.

Jaw clenched, I strode across and rapped hard on the door. Music or no music, I had to try. There was a long silence. I pounded on the door again.

"What?" a rough voice barked.

"I have to pee," I said bluntly.

"So choose a corner."

I scowled at the door. "Grow up," I snapped. "Unless you want me to go right here by the door. I'm pretty sure the floor slopes towards you."

There was another silence, then the door creaked open. As per the colonel's instructions, there were two of them, both armed with rifles in their hands, and knives at their belts. I raised an eyebrow. The one of the left pointed along the corridor, indicating that I should go first.

Lunging towards, I grabbed his wrist, wrenching his thumb back until it snapped. At the same time, I kneed him in the groin with every ounce of power I could muster. He dropped like a stone, curling into the ground with a breathy wheeze. The other one opened his mouth to yell, raising his gun. I shoved it aside with my forearm, grabbed his knife and stabbed it deep into the top of his shoulder. One of his arms went limp at once and I wrestled the gun from him, winding the strap around his neck and ducking around to the back, bracing an elbow between his shoulder blades as I twisted and pulled with all my might. He struggled for a while, then slumped to the ground. With no time to spare, I left them both where they were and sprinted along to the main door.

It wasn't as dark outside as it was within, and I could clearly make out the outline of the buildings and the rising forest in the distance – my goal. I ran, not caring where I was going or who might see me.

A shout rose behind me to the left, but I ignored it, ducking sideways, weaving between tents and buildings to block their line of sight. I ran and ran and ran. Suddenly, there was a clear space ahead of me. I only had to pass two more buildings and I was clear. The forest would hide me, I had to trust in that. The first building flashed past. My lungs blew out air like a steam train, in great gusting whistles. The second building loomed, and suddenly there was a figure ahead of me, blocking my escape.

My knees locked and gravel skidded everywhere. Anyone else, I would have kept going, shoved past them, taken my chance with the gun they held. But it was _him_ , and something in me couldn't.

Still pale, one arm held across his chest in a sling, the other hand slightly shaky as it pointed the gun directly at my chest, he looked like a ghost. Or maybe an angel.

We stood, both frozen, both staring at the other.

"John," I whispered.

"You shouldn't have run," he said, his voice hoarse.

The blow came from behind, exploding pain through the top of my head, and I fell into darkness.


	36. Blood Taken

**A/N:** Fair warning, this is not a pleasant chapter.

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My eyes opened a fraction and jagged light shot spears of pain through my head, a counterpoint to the sharp ache at the back. Despite the agony, I blinked, squinting around me. I was back in the same room, brightly lit now with propane torches in two corners, though the windows were still completely black. The door stood ajar now, and I could hear voices outside, though I couldn't make out what they were saying.

Slowly, I pushed myself up to sit with my back against the wall. The movement sent new waves of pain through my head, reminiscent of how I'd felt after I'd been knocked out during the earthquake. I wondered vaguely if I was going to be sick again. There was also a number of new scratches on my ankles, no doubt from behind brought back here following my failed escape attempt. They wouldn't have bothered to be gentle.

 _You shouldn't have run._

I closed my eyes, seeing his face again. Maybe he was right—it had as good as confirmed my guilt—but I didn't regret it. At least I had tried.

So what now? Eying the door, I considered what might come through it. Straight up execution? I doubted it. I would already be dead if that was the case. Considering the alternative, I swallowed. Suddenly I was very glad that I'd insisted on not knowing where the apes' new home was. I couldn't tell them that, at least. I would not put Cornelia and little Munchkin in danger. Part of me growled in anger, insisting that I wouldn't tell them anything, but another half was already cowering and whimpering in fear, ready to break.

 _It's easier to focus on something you will say, rather than trying to keep quiet completely_.

I frowned at the old memory from some random source, unable to remember where I'd heard it, and not much caring. I didn't even care if it was true. At this point, I would try anything. So I needed something I could say. I thought the original reference had been about repeating an enlistment number or something random like that, but I didn't have one of them. Any information about myself was dangerous, whether they realised it or not.

My eyes fell on the propane lamps and I went still. Maybe there was still another option…

The door opened.

I was tense instantly, my head snapping up, jaw clenched. Too late for another plan. To my surprise, Anderson was the first one through the door, propped up on a stick and limping heavily. He crossed over to the windows and peered through them, out into the darkness. I didn't move, alternating between watching him and those outside the door. John was out there, I could see the side of his face, but he was refusing to look at me. Rick was there, as was the Colonel, both watching me with unforgiving expressions. There were two others as well, who I didn't know. One of them stepped inside, and the door closed again with a snap. The last thing I saw was John's face, still turned resolutely away.

Anderson remained by the window as the other soldier moved across to the wall opposite my own, sliding down to sit on the floor, mimicking my position. I settled my gaze on him and waited.

"They knew where the unit was meant to go," he said, after a long pause. "There is no one missing, no one unaccounted for, and no written plans that could have been stolen." His head cocked to the side with what looked like genuine curiosity. "Why did you do it?"

"I didn't," I said.

"You told them where the unit was going, put every one of them in danger. 14 good people died. More were injured. Why did you do it?"

"I didn't."

"Is there someone else? Do they have someone? Are they threatening you?"

"I didn't do it."

"We can help you. Whatever they have, we can help. We'll keep you safe."

"I didn't do it."

"Yes, you did." Anderson turned away from the window as he spoke, looking down at me from his immense height.

"No, I didn't."

"How long have you been passing them information?"

"Were you down in the city?"

"What was your plan with them?"

"Did you plan this all from the start, or were you adapting as you went along?"

"Is the music a signal?"

At some point, I stopped answering, but it didn't slow their questions.

Eventually, there was a sharp rapping on the door. The two soldiers went silent at last, both shooting me one last sour look before crossing the room and stepping outside. They left the door ajar, voices pitched loud enough for me to hear the occasional word.

"… uncooperative… clearly… admission… other methods…"

They went suddenly silent and I listened to another set of feet approaching. There was a silent pause then the door opened again, admitting a single figure who pulled the door closed behind him.

I looked away. I wasn't prepared for this sort of pain.

John crossed to stand in the middle of the room and stood, looking down at me. I avoided his gaze. I didn't know how much I would be able to read in his face, and I didn't want to find out.

"Stand up," he said.

I hesitated, still examining the floor, then pushed to my feet, using the wall to steady myself. Standing, I finally managed to meet his gaze. I couldn't read a single emotion in his face, or maybe he just felt nothing looking at me.

"Aren't you going to deny it?" he asked sourly.

I dropped my eyes to the sling on his arm. "I didn't do it," I whispered.

"Then why did you run?"

"Because everyone believed I had."

"I didn't," he said bluntly, and my eyes snapped up. "The whole way back, Rick was ranting about you. I didn't believe it. You didn't like it when the colonel said we were here to wipe the apes out, you didn't like it that we had the gas, but I still didn't believe it of you. I thought that all meant you were a good person, not the worst."

That one hurt. I looked away.

"But then you ran. You _attacked my men_ , and you ran."

"What was I supposed to do?" I asked, my voice hoarse. "Wait for you to make up your own minds and kill me for it?"

"You were supposed to trust. To trust in the truth. But I guess you did."

"I didn't do it," I said again, my gaze still fixed on his chest.

He stood watching me for another moment, then turned and left.

Somehow, I remained on my feet, staring numbly ahead. I wasn't left alone for long. Anderson and his colleague returned. The former had dispensed with his stick, his limp even more pronounced. I wanted to ask him why the medics had suddenly changed their minds about letting him up, but I'd broken my silence too much already with John so I kept my mouth shut. I kept my eyes on him as he limped his way into the room, ignoring the other one, who circled around behind me. That was a mistake.

There was a sudden footfall, a pressure in the middle of my back and a hand grasped my arm. Before I could do more than tense, the soldier behind me jerked and twisted and my shoulder exploded in pain.

He released me at once, stepping away as I dropped to my knees, grabbing my right wrist with my left hand. My vision blurred as my eyes filled with tears and I swore silently to myself, biting my lip against the pain. The entirety of my right arm was limp, hanging painfully. I blinked, tears rolling down my face as I squinted up at Anderson.

"Where are the apes based?" he asked, his voice completely impassive. "How many of them are there?"

The pain almost made it easier not to answer; I could barely focus enough to understand his words, forming any of my own was beyond me.

There was no warning, just a sudden explosion of new pain in my side, just below my ribs. With a gasp of pain, I recoiled away from the impact, dropping my useless arm to catch myself with my left hand. The desperate motion sent me sprawling, leaving my legs exposed and the soldier behind me didn't hesitate to take advantage, sending a harsh kick to the back of my thigh. My breath, barely recovered from the blow to my side, left me again in a sharp outcry.

There was a pause as I sat there, trying to process the many sources of pain. Eventually, I raised my eyes enough to stare at Anderson's boots.

"I didn't do it," I croaked.

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They didn't let up. The questions continued thick and fast, focused on the apes now, rather than my own motivations, and the pain came with them.

Where are the apes? What are they planning? Who leads them? How smart are they? Where are they based? What are they doing? Why did they attack the city? How many are there? What are they planning? How many guns do they have?

Pressure on my dislocated shoulder. More kicks, to my legs, my stomach. The steady weight of a boot on my fingers. Joints twisted to the point of snapping, held mercilessly. Impacts from fists all over my body.

By the time they were finished, I was lying on my left side, staring at the floor. My throat was rough, my eyes sore. Everything was sore. The cold floor felt nice against the swelling coming up on my cheek from a savage blow.

I followed them with my eyes as they walked out. Anderson's hands were clean. The knuckles of the other soldier were painted red with the same blood I'd willingly given to save John's life. This wasn't willingly given.

The door didn't even close behind them before another pair of boots walked slowly inside. My eyes closed briefly. Weren't they done yet?

The figure crouched down a few feet away from me and I looked up, struggling to focus on the colonel's face.

"You have information I need," he said calmly. "And I'm not fussy about what I have to do to get it. You will be moved every hour, day and night. After a day, it will be a bit like being drunk. You will be more emotional, have a shorter attention span, and your judgement will be affected."

I let my eyes slide away from him, staring at the floor again, but I couldn't tune out his words.

"36 hours, and you will experience negative impacts to your body. Your reactions will be slower, you will start to forget things, losing chunks of time. Two days and your body will begin to microsleep – shutting down for a few seconds. After that, hallucinations will soon follow.

"You won't last that long. I promise you that. Have you ever stayed under water a bit too long? When it feels like you're going to die if you don't get back to the surface. You'll find out what it feels like."

He stood up, towering over me. "Then we'll see how many more fingers you want to lose."

I closed my eyes as he turned away and spoke to the darkness. "I didn't do it." The words were hoarse but perfectly intelligible, and I was sure that he heard them before the door closed.

They were the only fours words I'd spoken since John had left the room, a lifetime ago.

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 **A/N** : Friendly reminder that this story is part of the LLF (Long Live Feedback) Comment Project, which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:

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	37. Reunions

I don't know how long I lay there in the darkness. The pain was bad, my shoulder the worst of it, but the expectation of what was to come was almost worse. The colonel was a real bastard.

Blinking in the almost total darkness, I raised my gaze slightly, focusing on something floating down from the ceiling. With a frown, I watched the figure land lightly on the floor, turning a head covered in messy blonde hair towards me.

Hallucinations already. I was ahead of schedule.

"Scope," I murmured, closing my eyes again.

"Sights."

I opened my eyes again, blinking upwards. That wasn't Scope's voice.

The figure came closer, bending over me, and I saw oversized eyes.

"Archer?" I croaked in shock.

"Arrows," she replied, lifting me up to a sitting position.

I stared blankly at her.

"Sorry, I thought we were playing a word association game," she said with a wink.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed, suddenly alert.

She shushed me, glancing over towards the door. "Long story," she said.

"But how…"

"With a little help," she said, nodding upwards.

I turned, searching the ceiling. The opening was almost as dark as the rest of the room; it took me a while to spot it and even longer to recognise the face on the other side.

"Rocket?" I asked.

The ape showed me his teeth. " _Quickly,_ " he signed.

"We need to get going," Archer said at the same time.

I smiled vaguely at their synchronisation, then gasped in pain, cringing away as Archer touched my right shoulder.

"Sorry!" she whispered, crouching back down again and running her hands gently over my joint. She swore. "This is dislocated," she said.

"You don't say," I said through gritted teeth.

She swore again, but with a slight smile, then sighed. "Lie down, I'll try to pop it back in before we go."

"Have you done this before?" I asked, letting her guide me down onto my back.

"Once," she said. "Just relax."

"Oh sure, just relax. Nothing stressful going on here. Relax. Piece of cake."

"Alright," she shook her head at my sarcasm as she gently twisted my arm back.

A new stab of pain shot through me and I tensed instinctively. With a deep breath out, I did my best to relax again, staring up past Archer's messy hair as she moved my arm slowly around over my head.

"How are you here?" I asked again.

"You're not the only one who can be a stubborn git," she whispered back. "After you kicked me out I headed north for a while, then circled back around. Didn't take long for me to encounter the apes. I dropped your name, but that didn't seem to help. Told them where you were, and stuff and they went suddenly quiet."

I met her accusatory gaze.

"Jac," I whispered. "My real name is Jac."

"Pleased to meet you," she smiled. "I met your Caesar."

"He's not _my_ Caesar," I objected. I had more questions to ask, but there was a sudden shifting in my shoulder. With a breathy groan, I rolled away from her, moving my arm down to cradle it across my chest. The pain had diminished almost immediately, and I could move again. With a few more deep breaths, I sat up.

"Thanks."

"Any time, but let's try not to have you need it again for a while. Let's get out of here."

I couldn't have agreed more. Archer helped me to my feet and led me over to underneath the hole in the ceiling. Cupping her hands together, she jerked her head up.

"I'll give you a boost."

Putting my foot in her hands, I looked up, to where Rocket was waiting. Hopping twice, I jumped up, reaching with my good arm. His long arms caught my wrist and lifted me up out of the hellish room.

There were three other apes on top of the building, hunched down to avoid being seen. I didn't recognise any of them well enough to know their names, but they reached out hands to touch me gently. Archer joined us seconds later, reclaiming her bow from the roof a few feet away. I eyed it cautiously, wondering if she would find the will to use it. It was at least quiet. The apes were armed with silent weapons as well, long spears held low to the ground.

Archer glanced around at us all, her eyes lingering on me, then scampering away to the edge of the roof. Rocket followed more slowly, and I fell in behind him. At the edge, Archer peered over, looking both ways along the ground. Beckoning us all sideways, she scampered along a few feet then turned around, swinging her legs off the roof. Wiggling her way to the edge, she hung by her fingers, then dropped silently out of sight.

With a grimace, I edged closer, peering down. I wasn't sure that I could do that in my current state. Luckily it was only a single-story building.

The other three apes followed Archer in quick succession, the drop easy work for them. Rocket nodded me closer and I obeyed, gritting my teeth in anticipation. Carefully, the need for urgency battling with my injuries, I swung my legs over the side of the building, wiggling backwards.

"It's okay, I've got you," Archer whispered from below. I rolled my eyes. I had more than a foot on her height. If I went down too close to her, she would catch me, she'd get squashed. Before I could go any further, a hand gripped my wrist. I looked up, shocked, and found Rocket gripping my left forearm. He gave me a nod, a gesture that made me blink, but I returned it. Trusting the majority of my weight to him, I rocked backwards, walking my feet slowly down the wall. He took the strain without a single sign of effort.

A new pair of hands steadied me on either side of my hips. "I've got you," Archer repeated from below.

I looked up, exchanged a quick nod with Rocket, and he let me drop. The impact shuddered through every bruise on me, and I staggered one step as my legs trembled but, true to her word, Archer didn't let me fall. Rocket was on the ground with us before I'd regained my balance, glancing up at the sky. I followed his gaze and saw a sky tinged pink. Dawn was coming.

"Let's go," I said hoarsely, eager to be away from this place. The colonel had said I would be moved every hour. How long ago had that been? How much time did we have before they found the room empty?

The others all nodded and Archer took off first, leading the way across the camp, darting from one building to the next for cover. I followed, forcing myself forwards at a limping jog. The apes kept close by us, no doubt relying on our superior night vision. It seemed only seconds later that we broke from the camp, scurried across several tense yards of open ground, and gained the cover of the trees.

We didn't stop there, hurrying on. We climbed up a ridge as the morning brightened, and when we got to the top, two of the apes broke away, bounding ahead, no longer hampered by my injuries. I glanced behind me, but every sign of the soldiers was hidden behind the trees.

We proceeded on at a slightly slower pace, though I did my best to use the length of my legs to counteract my limp. My right arm was tucked tightly into my chest, held in place by the grip of my other hand.

Archer and Rocket led the way, I followed along behind them, my head down as I navigated the undergrowth. The other ape took up the rear, watching our backs. We dropped down into a valley and climbed halfway up the other side before following the gradient sideways, skirting around the peak. Other the other side, a flatter track opened up, and we took it, our pace picking up now that I didn't have the slope to contend with.

After a few minutes of progress, Archer halted in front of me, Rocket stepping off to the side and coming to a stop as well. Surprised, I looked up, automatically scanning the trees for the uniforms that had become familiar to me. There was nothing. Then I listened.

Hoofbeats, approaching fast.

Four horses rounded the corner at a fast pace, the apes on their backs pulling them up at the sight of us blocking the path.

I took a step backwards at the speedy approach of the large animals, then one of the apes swung down to the ground and I rushed forwards.

Blue Eyes and I met in a messy hug, limbs going everywhere, and with several gasps of pain on my part. I didn't care. Over his shoulder, I watched Caesar dismount with slightly more restraint, though he came forwards almost as eagerly. I reached out my good arm to him and he joined our huddle.

It was several long seconds before we broke apart and I watched both sets of eyes, one green and gold, one bright blue, rove over my swollen face, my carefully held arm.

"You're hurt," Caesar growled. "Where?"

I gave a half-shrug. "Everywhere." I poked my own chest, right over my heart. "Except here." It was mostly true. Even as my body was full of pain, my heart was flying high with joy at seeing them again. There was only one small corner that was cold and heavy.

"Come home," Blue said.

I smiled. "Yes, please."

Both apes gave huffs of pleasure, turning away, but I caught Caesar's arm before he could walk away, stepping closer.

Across the side of his head, a long red wound stood out among the dark fur.

"What happened?" I asked, concern and anger warring for dominance.

He gave me a long look. "Red," he said, before turning away.

I was left with an overwhelming surge of shocked anger that froze my joints in place. It wasn't until Archer touched my arm that I broke free, striding after Caesar.

"When? What happened? Is anyone else hurt? Did he—"

Caesar turned back, cutting me off with a sharp sign. "Later," he said aloud. "Need to move."

I bit my tongue but nodded, sighing at the thought of the long journey still ahead, and wondering how much further it was to the apes' new home. Rocket and the other ape had already taken to the treetops, swinging away with alarming speed. It wasn't until a horse blocked the path right in front of me and I looked up to find Blue Eyes holding out an expectant hand to me that I considered the other mode of transportation available.

"Oh hell no."

"Faster," Blue Eyes pointed out.

"Nu-uh. I don't think so." I backed away, eyeing the large animal with trepidation.

"Jac."

The sound of my name, my real name, from Archer was shocking enough to make me turn.

"You've been limping the whole way here. You can barely walk, let alone anything faster. Get on the fucking horse."

I scowled at her, but she merely raised an eyebrow, already accepting a helping hand from another of the apes onto their horse. I turned my attention back to Blue's horse.

"If I fall off, I'm going to hold you personally responsible," I said sternly, looking the big animal right in the eye.

Blue gave a hoot-pant of amusement as I finally took his hand and let him pull me up onto the horse. It seemed like a long way up, or maybe a long way down. It wasn't comfortable, the position putting pressure on one of the sore spots on my thigh. Blue took my hands, guiding them to the mane of hair in front of me, and I gripped tightly, even with my injured arm. His arms were secure around me, and I almost felt ready until the animal began to move. Gritting my teeth, I stared straight ahead and tried to ignore the suspicion that I was going to slide off with every step.

.

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Though infinitely preferable to the situation I'd left behind, the ride was not very enjoyable for me, but Archer seemed to take great amusement in my discomfort. I didn't fall off, though I put that down to sheer luck. Most of the journey was lost to me, as I was too focused on remaining relatively balanced and trying to stop the uncomfortable gait from jarring my shoulder and bruising my sore legs even more than they already were. It didn't help matters that my cheek was still swelling, and it was easier to let my left eye shut than try to keep it open. Once we slowed again, I was able to take in a little more of our surroundings and looked up in awe as we passed through a large tunnel on the edge of a cliff, a river pounding along at the bottom of the ravine. Emerging on the other side, I looked up, and couldn't help a smile spreading across my face.

Every familiar face, and others unknown to me, was there. The apes came to their feet as they realised that Caesar had returned, though many of their eyes were actually on me. I wondered briefly if they had forgotten me so quickly, or if the swelling on my face was severe enough for them to not recognise me. Even as Archer appeared by my side, reaching out to help me down, they didn't look away.

Getting down was harder than getting up had been, and I was glad of Archer's hands to steady my landing, as my muscles all seemed to have seized up during the ride. Though it didn't seem possible, several more seemed to be hurting, including ones I didn't even realise I had. Blue was quick to jump down as well, supporting me from the other side as I hobbled forwards. Now that I was here, away from the soldiers and off the horse, I was slowly relaxing, and exhaustion was creeping up on me. It had been at least 24 hours since I'd last slept and I was feeling every one of them.

Despite that, I was still curious to see the new place Caesar and his family had built, and that was enough to keep my head from drooping. It also allowed me to notice that every ape was still on their feet and watching me.

"They're all staring," I said as I limped forwards.

"They know," Caesar said, as we drew level with him, "what you've done for us. And we will not forget it."

I paused, the two helping me hesitating as well. "Did I help?" I asked him bluntly.

Caesar nodded.

"Then I'd do it again." Awkwardly and painfully, I extracted my arms from Archer and Blue, to make a simple sign in front of me. ' _Family._ '

Caesar's face crinkled affectionately and he reached out to touch my chin gently.

"Rest," he said.

I hummed in agreement, letting my two companions resume their positions, supporting my weight on either side. I no longer looked up at the watching apes, embarrassed by their gaze, but I felt their eyes on me all the way along the long path to a smaller tunnel into the grey stone, where I was met by a most welcome greeter.

The ball of dark fur practically launched itself out of the darkness with a shriek, and it was lucky that he caught himself on my neck, as I had no free hands to hold him.

"Munchkin?" I asked, shocked, as I raised my left arm to support him. The nuzzle into my neck was answer enough and I hugged the little ape tightly. "When did you get so big?" I asked in wonderment. He seemed twice as large as the last time I'd seen him and his face, when he pulled back, was far more mature, starting to resemble his father around his eyes.

"Missed you," I murmured.

' _Missed you!_ ' he signed back, almost instantly.

My heart swelled at his development, even as I raised my eyes to see his mother approaching, though far more sedately. Cornelia reached out, having the misfortune to choose to touch my injured shoulder as she reached us. I winced, and her face fell into concern at once.

"I'm fine," I said quickly. "Just tired."

She hummed and tapped her younger son on his back. He went to her with a reluctance that made me smile.

' _Talk soon,_ ' she signed, and I nodded before resuming my limping walk onwards. My feet were dragging now, my head hung low in the darkness.

"Nearly there," Archer murmured, and I merely sighed in response. Anything else seemed like too much effort.

Next thing I knew, I was being helped down onto a bed of some soft material. I squeezed Archer's and Blue's hands once more and saw them turn to talk to each other, then my eyes slid shut. I was finally safe, back with my family, and I slept.


	38. Questions and Answers

A/N: The penultimate chapter, with the last one to be posted later tonight. Hope you enjoy!

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My eyes open twice before I'm ready to actually wake up, but the darkness and empty rock in front of me allow me to drift away again without difficulty. The third time, once I realise that I've been staring at the wall for several minutes, I roll over onto my back, twisting my head around. Lily is right there, raising her head at my movement and smiling. I'm not sure what I've done to deserve the expression.

"What time is it?" I ask, my voice croaky and rough.

"Early morning," she replied. "You slept all of yesterday. I think you woke up in the night, but you went off again fairly quickly."

It was meaningless noise to me. Very cautiously, I sat up, the pain in my injured shoulder making itself known again.

"I've got some stuff to bandage your arm," Lily said, reading my expression correctly. "I didn't want to wake you since you weren't sleeping on it, but we should give it some support now. And if we go down to the river, we can get some cold water on your face, though it might be a bit late for that to be effective."

I raised my left hand to my face, feeling the swelling she was referring to. My eye was mostly unaffected, but my cheekbone was very tender.

"Sounds like a good idea," I said.

"What else hurts?" Lily asked, moving to offer me a hand up.

I took it, heaved myself up, and groaned. "Pretty much everything," I said. Other than my shoulder and my face, the back of my left thigh seemed to be the worst of it. I could practically feel the indentation left by a ferocious boot. I was also sure that there were bruises over the rest of my limbs, and up my ribs as well.

"Yeah," I said, finishing my assessment and giving Lily a rueful smile. "Basically everything."

She didn't smile back, her eyes full of sympathy. "Come on then," she said. "You had a lot of visitors as well."

"Really?"

"Don't sound so surprised."

I was surprised. After so long away from the apes, I'd forgotten that I'd once had a place among them, that some might count me as a friend. I instantly wondered how Oren and Jasmine were doing, as well as Tinder and Lake.

Following Lily through a maze of tunnels and caves, I looked around with far more awareness than I had done during the reverse trip. It wasn't, perhaps, a natural habitat for the apes, but they'd clearly made it their own and from the leaves and tree boughs I saw, they'd made it feel like home. Eyes watched us from all sides, peering around the rocks, halted in the passages, but although I gave nods of greeting, I didn't say anything, either vocally or by signing, and they were likewise silent.

When we emerged out of the tunnels, I came to a stop, blinking in the bright light reflected off the water. The open plateau was slightly shielded from the main, noisy waterfall, but the river was clearly audible, rushing along below and throwing shimmering light over the roof and walls from the high sun. Clearly, it wasn't as early in the morning as I'd thought Archer had meant.

"Sit." Archer interrupted my observations by pointing to an outcrop of rock. "I'll be right back." She hurried away, across the empty space.

Ignoring her instructions, I walked past the rock, to the very edge of the open area, where a strung bridge of logs allowed me to see further around the valley. The opposite cliff was sheer and high, though not as high as the one above my head appeared to be. Off to the right, a series of tunnels through the rock arched above the path out to the forest, and below the river raged past, a strong current flowing away. It was a strong, defensible position. I hated that I thought of it as such, and hated even more that the thought was necessary.

"I told you to sit!" Lily's disapproving tone made me smile, but as I turned towards her, and the place she'd expected me to be, I saw something else that made my smile widen until my cheek ached.

Caesar was waiting for me, having clearly been watching me assess his new home, and Blue Eyes was right behind him. I walked forwards far more eagerly now and would have embraced them both again if Lily hadn't seized my wrist and dragged me down onto the outcrop of rock. I scowled at the top of her head as she rummaged through a pile of cloth she'd dumped at my feet, and Blue Eyes gave a long panting laugh. As Lily manoeuvred my right arm into the position she wanted and began wrapping it in place, I had to content myself with watching the two apes saunter over and plant themselves onto the rock close by.

"I have questions," I said bluntly, wincing as Archer tugged on my shoulder.

Caesar nodded, but my eyes turned instead to Archer.

"How long have you been here?" I asked.

She bit her lip, even as she held up a cloth soaked in cold water and pressed it to my cheek. "Since about 24 hours after I left you."

My flinch had nothing to do with the chilly water on my face. For several seconds, I didn't look at any of them, but I couldn't keep my accusatory gaze away from Caesar for long. "You didn't tell me," I stated quietly.

He shook his head. "Didn't want to distract you," he said. "After you said she was alright, didn't think you needed to know."

I blinked, thinking back to that hazy period. He had come to see me, asking questions about Archer. I'd thought he'd been concerned for me. Apparently not.

There was a loaded silence, but I was too tired, and I'd been away from them for too long, to be willing to hold a grudge. Caesar had been doing what he'd thought was best. And I probably would have been distracted by the knowledge that Lily had been in close contact with the apes, especially back then, when I'd trusted her so little. She was watching me, almost waiting for me to look at her, and didn't shy away from my gaze. Her huge eyes, set slightly too far apart for her small space, shocked me once again with their bright blue colour.

"Alright," I said, looking back up at Caesar. "What about Red? What happened to him? Does he know about this place?"

He blinked, clearly trying to keep up with my bouncing thoughts. "No," he said. "Was out in woods when attack came. Thought it was soldiers but killed one of those who went with him." There was no hesitation in his words, but I wondered how much that must have cost him.

 _Ape not kill ape._

"Where are they now?" I asked.

Caesar shrugged. "Don't know."

I frowned, looking away. The idea of two hostile forces roaming the woods made me uneasy, especially when Caesar was undoubtedly at the top of both their lists of targets.

"Jac."

I looked back up at him, waiting as he hesitated, as if unsure of how to proceed.

"Is there anything more, that you learned? About the soldiers?"

Now I looked away because I had to because I knew exactly what he was asking. There was so much more that I knew about the soldiers now – the layout of their camp, their hierarchy – all the things that I hadn't been able to convey during my brief signed communication. But he'd also offered me a way out, asking it as a question to which there were two possible answers. Gazing into the distance, I remembered John's face, the way he'd apologised to me about the gas. I remembered him walking out of a cold room, leaving me to be beaten and interrogated.

"Yeah," I said heavily. "There's more."

I told them, avoiding their gazes as much as possible, everything I'd seen, guessed, or put together about the soldiers. I told them where supplies were kept, where they slept, where they planned, how they trained. At some point during my outpouring of information, Rocket came to join the group, followed soon after by Maurice. Though I gave them brief glances, I kept talking. It was easier than stopping and trying to start again. Cornelia and Munchkin joined us as well, the latter climbing up into my lap. I groomed him absently with my left hand and prayed that he couldn't understand what I was saying.

My voice was hoarse and my head aching by the time I'd exhausted all my knowledge, and the apes had finished asking their many questions. Caesar went quiet early on, leaving it to the others to extract every drop of information. He was staring off into the distance when silence fell.

"Caesar?" I asked, worried though I couldn't say why.

"They will never stop."

I searched his familiar face, those striking eyes. "No," I said, remembering the Colonel's fervour. "I don't think they will." Another silence fell during which I looked down at Lily, but she was still watching Caesar. "What are you thinking?" I asked, turning back to him as well.

"That it may be time to look elsewhere," he said slowly.

I tilted my head. "Meaning?"

He just shook his head, waving a hand, as if shoving the idea aside for later.

A sharp alarm call caught our attention, all of us coming to our feet together. Cornelius leapt back to his mother, and the wet cloth that had been cooling my cheek fell to the ground as I turned, watching a chimp come racing up to us.

"What is it?" Caesar asked urgently.

The ape signed, too rapidly for me to understand, though their eyes kept flicking to me. I whipped around, looking to Caesar or Blue Eyes for a translation. Both merely stared at me.

"What?" I demanded. "What is it?"

Caesar's answer was simple. "Music."


	39. Survivor (Final Chapter)

Caesar had told me about the soldiers' search for me. They had been out in force all over the woods while I'd slept, but none of his scouts reported any entering the woods today. But someone was playing that music. He thought it was a trap, designed by the colonel to lure me in. I had another suspicion, one I barely dared to allow myself to acknowledge.

At first, I had wanted to go alone, but Caesar had flat-out refused to allow it. It had been hard enough to persuade him not to give the order to kill whoever was at my gas station outright. Limping through the forest, my steps were hurried, though I dreaded the confrontation ahead. It was reassuring to have the apes all around me, armed and angry. I just hoped they didn't overreact to the presence of someone from the group who had so recently tortured me.

By the time we arrived at the ridge behind which the gas station was hiding, my free hand was shaking from nerves, but I knew exactly who was waiting for me now. I recognised the record they had chosen to play, had been listening to it building on repeat over the last hour.

"You don't have to do this," Caesar said, raising his voice to be heard.

I offered him an ironic smile. "Don't shoot too quickly?" I begged him.

He searched my face, nodding though he clearly wasn't happy about it, still suspicious of a larger, hidden force, an ambush. Despite the number of apes here, I was also armed, a concession we hadn't had to argue about. The soldiers had stripped me of all my weapons, the handgun Denny had left for me before I'd even come back to the forest for the first time was gone, but the apes had provided me with another gun, no doubt taken from the body of a dead soldier. Its weight was a cold constant at my back, and I wondered if I would have recognised the face of its previous owner.

I gave Lily one more glance before beginning my descent. We had been practically shouting at each other as I tried to convince her not to come. In the end, she'd agreed to stay out of sight – the element of her surprise could make a difference one day – but she'd refused to be left behind completely.

The forest seemed to blur and shake, trees swaying and breaking apart as I walked numbly downwards. When I looked again, it was just the apes, shifting into position as I moved. I hit the road a little east of the gas station, walking along towards it with shallow breaths.

He had been looking north, so saw the apes before he saw me. His gun came up as he took a step back, but he hesitated, not taking a shot as his eyes darted around. Trying to keep tabs on them, or watching for someone else?

I kept walking, not giving myself time to think about it.

Even with the music blasting, covering any sound of my approach, he whirled around to face me, maybe seeing my movement in his peripheral vision. For a moment, I wondered if this was what he had been waiting for, holding back from shooting the apes in favour of waiting for his real target, but I kept walking and John still didn't shoot.

His gun lowered completely to hang at his side as I walked past him, heading into the gas station and turning off the music. The quick scan I gave was enough to show me that the room had been completely trashed, no doubt by the soldiers looking for clues on my location, or the apes'.

Returning outside, I was hit with a powerful déjà vu. Wasn't this where it had all started? Me turning off the music, the very same record, John waiting for me. I moved around to the north of him, hoping the different angle would shake off the memory. It helped, but there were too many other memories waiting to take its place. Maybe this had been a mistake.

"You…" he trailed off.

"I've looked better," I said coolly.

He was silent, and my anger flared.

"You're not going to tell me that you didn't know what they were going to do?"

"I didn't come here to lie to you," he said quietly, eyes on the floor.

"Then why are you here?"

He hesitated, eyes flicking from the ground up to my face, holding there as if unable to look away. "Was it really you all along?" he asked eventually. "On the bridge, in the city, on the radio?"

I blinked. I should have known they would put me together with the radio at some point. "Yes," I said. The admission hung between us, like a caged bird finally freed. There was no point in denying it anymore.

He took a step closer. There was a chorus of angry hisses and snarls from behind me, but we both ignored them. "I was injured, early on. Someone brought some of the bodies back to our camp, along with me, and another injured soldier. Was that you as well?"

Now I was the one to look away. "Forest. Did she survive?"

He drew in a sharp breath, blinking several times before answering. "Yes. She lost her leg, got sent back up to Seattle."

I nodded silently.

"That means… when you gave me blood… that was the second time you saved my life."

I couldn't look at him, watching his feet as he took another step forward.

"Do you regret it?" he asked.

Looking aside, I clenched my jaw tightly before answering. "No," I said, as brusquely as possible. "It was all part of the act. A way to get you to trust me."

He met my gaze without flinching. "There wasn't an act the first time. I said I wasn't here to lie to you. You could at least return the favour."

He was too close now. My left hand snapped out, gripping the front of his uniform. Holding him at bay, unable to let him go.

"Tell me," he said, "truthfully, that it was all a lie. All of it."

My mouth opens, but no sound comes out. My eyes close briefly, and a drop of moisture falls down my face, stinging my cheek. I see it coming, see his every move, but I'm still woefully unprepared.

One hand presses the inside of my elbow, bending my arm, breaking the barrier I was holding shakily between us. The other hand is irrelevant, meaningless, because his mouth is far too close, and then there's no distance between us at all.

I forget about the apes watching. I forget about the war and which side I'm on. I forget about gravity and science and up and down. Only the pain remains. The ache in my shoulder and my leg and my face. The agony in my heart.

I'm the one to push him away, and there is more than one tear track on my face now. Swallowing, I take several steps backwards before I looked up at him, and my face is hard when I do.

"Go home, John," I said. There is so much more I want to say. I want to scream at him for all the horrors that have happened. I want to beg him to listen, to tell him the whole story of Koba and Caesar, because what if he would see our side if he knew everything. But I don't. I don't say anything else, and neither does he.

He backs away, not taking his eyes off me, then turns and strides away.

There is utter silence as he is lost among the trees.

I walk forwards to the middle of the road, even though there is nothing to see. At some point, I end up on the ground. I'm not even sure that it matters.

.

.

Human feet approach me, boots tapping sharply on the hard surface. Lily sits down in front of me, close enough that our knees touch, and reaches out to wipe off my face. Staring blankly into the woods, I barely register her touch.

"Well, I guess that severely lowers my chances," she said with false cheeriness.

I blink, looking blankly at her, not understanding.

She smiles, but it's got the same tinge to it as her tone, a cover for pain underneath. "Ah well, time is on my side, for the moment."

I looked away. Time is on no one's side. Not in this war we've fallen into. We might all be dead tomorrow. Lily, me, Caesar, Blue. My shattered mind adds several more names to the list. Collins, Louis, John. Scope, already lost.

Lily stands, taking my wrist to pull me up, but I tightened my grip on her arm, my eyes locked onto her as I try to work out what just happened.

I know them now, the soldiers. They have faces, they have names. I know them like I know the apes. I know John like I know Blue. They're no longer a group of evil forces, no longer a nameless, faceless mass. They're no longer just 'the enemy'.

"This war," I said to Lily, "is going to kill me."

In that realisation, I almost do what the Colonel, with his torture and his threats, hadn't managed to make me do, and break.

Lily pulls me up, pulls me back from the edge, her other hand cupping my chin.

"No, it won't," she says firmly. "You're a survivor."

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 **THE END**

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 **A/N:** That's it for now folks! Jac, Lily, Caesar, and co. will return in part three, which will pick up at the start of 'War for the Planet of the Apes'. Thank you for reading, and please leave a review! I see and appreciate all of them, and respond to all those that I can.  
I will post a notification as a new chapter on here when the next part is ready, so stay following to get that update! In the meantime, live long and love our apes!


	40. SEQUEL NOTIFICATION

Part 3, Paths of Ascension, is now up and live! You can find it by going to my author page, either here or on AO3, where my username is 'Lmere' (if you google it, it should be the first thing to come up). Hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think!


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